The path I walk ~

Using your talent...

2011-12-12T06:34:00.002+08:00

...for a greater purpose :)

MasyaAllah...let's take a 10 minute break from whatever we are doing to take a look at this.

My medicine today :)

2011-12-10T19:24:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk brothers and sisters ^_^

Subhanallah, Allah led me to this video and I would really love to share it with you. May it be one of the things that cleans us, softens our hearts and give us calmness. Reminding us of things we may have forgotten. InsyaAllah~

'If things were easy to find, they wouldn't be worth finding'

2011-12-09T21:52:00.002+08:00

Those words spoke to my heart...and for once after a long time...I managed to really cry.

Not just for any reason, but for the right one :)

Just as I've always believed, nothing beats crying for Allah. Nothing.

Salam alayk brothers and sisters ^_^

What has it been...3 months? I'm sorry. Hee... Writing a blog isn't just about writing for the sake of it. Wouldn't wanna go on posting without purpose right? InsyaAllah, that purpose has returned and here I am now in the last month of this year. I had a thought, in fact many thoughts rushed into my mind when I first heard those words in the title being said...but the one thing above them all in the midst of rushing memories...was Allah.

We all like simple things don't we? Easy stuff. Things that are not complicated (okay I'm just rewording everything here :P) but the fact is... life isn't just one simple thing. It's an orchestra of many things interrelated yet so beautifully created by Allah that it all makes sense to be intertwined with each other. Everything is so special...that generalizing just doesn't do justice to His creations, including you.

I think (and yes this is purely what I think) that it is important to not keep saying or implying that there is something wrong with a person just because he or she sees things or does things in a different way. Not to say that people do this or anything. It's just a mere thought. Something to reflect upon by myself first and foremost and all of you. One has to believe in oneself, in his or her own capability. Look for it and use it. The journey to Allah isn't the same for everyone. It's different, tailored in fact...to fit each of us in the way that suits us best.

Because like I keep saying, Allah knows best and He sure knows how to make life interesting.

This year has taught me a lot and one of the most important things is how to feel and really mean what I say. Words are not enough. Sure they sound nice, make you think etc...but they are not enough. They are merely words unless you do something about it. That's exactly it, you have to do something about it.

I have been looking for something for quite a long while now and I guess it disheartened me the fact that it was so difficult, the fact that it felt so unreachable...but now I know that whatever it is...insyaAllah, I cannot and will not stop trying...because I know with all my heart that it is worth finding.

I just have to have the guts to do it :P and patience above all.

Let us all keep praying for each other, coz surely...we all need it.

^_^

2011-09-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

Koran by heart

2011-08-16T23:18:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk :)

I found this at a sister's page today. Subhanallah it's wonderful. How Allah s.w.t is so great. Subhanallah...subhanallah...

Do watch :)

Koran by Heart from MuslimCommunityTV on Vimeo.

2011-08-15T18:49:00.002+08:00

"Truly in the heart there is a void that cannot be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that cannot be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that cannot be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him. And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness."

-Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah-

I've heard someone say that loneliness is underrated...but then again if we talk about the void as being referred to by Ibn Qayyim, it isn't. Say what you want to make yourself feel better. It's underrated, it's not true, it can be coped with, it's no big deal etc..etc

But all you're doing is fool yourself...because that emptiness is real and has only one cure.

And that cure...is Allah~

The difficulty in breaking free

2011-08-15T11:34:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk :)

It's a refreshing feeling when you take time to listen or I suppose in many more cases, read what others have to say. You'd realise how beautiful people are from within themselves. A beauty often overlooked nowadays. Often deemed to be unimportant.

There's no one really to blame for that. At least no one in particular. We live in a diseased world and I guess a truth that I didn't really wanna think of and believe is that in some ways, I've been deceived too. The way we think, give opinions...in the slightest of ways even may be off track without us realising because we were brought up in conditions exposing us to a certain frame of mind that seems to be the way we should think when in fact it is not.

Such subtle ways are we all fooled and see how it's worked. Of course it's working, we're all part of a long devised plan. One so elaborate and long term with people who work extremely hard behind them. I'm beginning to see now that's why it is so difficult for us to resist our old ways. To completely get rid of things we grew up with, what our parents grew up with too.

And one of the most powerful things clinging us on to what we should leave...are memories. Memories that are mostly good ones to us. Familiar happy feelings and how unfortunate it is for those memories to be so intertwined with jahiliyyah that we should want to leave. It's sad, but true...and I find myself in a confusing state when I'm back with the ones I love. I feel torn apart and helpless mostly but there's also a comfort that I honestly don't want to leave. Something I'm sure many others have felt too. The difficulty in breaking free.

There's so much more for me to learn...for us to learn. May Allah give us strength and patience in doing that and may He choose us to prevail. Aamiin~

Short yet so meaningful

2011-08-14T18:20:00.001+08:00

What indeed can the one who has found Allah be said to have lost? -Sayyid Qutb-

Reading this, I can only throw a smile :)

How do we break our fast?

2011-08-11T18:05:00.005+08:00

Salam alayk dear brothers & sisters,

How is your Ramadhan? I hope each day gets better for us all insyaAllah and may we all alert ourselves to the constant tarbiyyah Allah gives us. After all, fasting is solely for Him and He will be the One to reward it.

Anyway look what I found today. A familiar phenomena I'd say :P Let's watch!

So, which one are we? Hee ^_^

Pain of the unforgiving

2011-08-11T10:41:00.004+08:00

I don't know for sure but that surely is the indication I'm getting. That I'm not forgiven. It made me look back at my old post 2 years ago, the Sweetness of Forgiveness. Now that we're in the second phase of Ramadhan, all the more reason to talk about this.

The phase of forgiveness.

I was listening to a talk by Shaykh Hamza Yusuf and what he said really caught my attention.

'The soul can only be brought back to life by recognizing why it was created and then setting out and striving to achieve that goal. Recognizing that we will have shortcomings. That we will make mistakes. That those mistakes are part of our humanity. That Allah s.w.t. knows those mistakes because He created us to make those mistakes so that we would turn to Him and He could in turn, turn to us and forgive us. And this is why we are created. We were created to respond to Allah and the only way a slave feels its servitude to Allah is in its abject nature. It is in its subjugation to Allah that occurs by doing wrong and then desiring atonement. Desiring to reconnect with ones true nature.'

And Allah being Most Gracious of all...is always waiting for us to reconnect.

I'm ashamed of myself really. This past month I have been sick. Being sick this month got me cranky somehow and I failed to see the hikmah behind my sickness. Failed to attain as much benefit from it as a muslim should. For sickness can dispose sins. I was blinded by pain & discomfort and it was all I could think about causing me to sigh a lot, fret...and forget how one should act in such situations. And incidentally those close to me had to hear all this from me everyday. Had to get such a negative vibe from me. Had to bear with me being complicated and hard to understand.

I didn't want to be this way and now with pain as pressure I'm desperately pulling myself together. I guess sometimes we just need to learn things the hard way coz then only will there be effect. I realize that every one of us has limits to their patience. I'm sorry I crossed that line for you. I don't know why it's bothering me so much and now I don't even have you to tell this to. You still won't speak to me.

It's odd isn't it? How forgiveness from man, when not given...aches so much you can even literally feel it in your chest. But forgiveness from Allah, whom we wrong everyday of our lives, whom we never quite deservingly love...doesn't quite give us such bother. Astaghfirullah... :'(

Waiting...for an answer to whether or not you've forgiven me is agonizing...but the One I've really wronged is Allah and not you. May you find it in your heart to empathize, to forgive, to see your own mistakes, own up to them and to cherish those who cherish you.

Have mercy my brothers & sisters for you seek mercy too.

The sheltering cloud

2011-08-10T11:06:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Okay enough with being gloomy (note to self XD), time to take action and smile! Have you heard of this story before? The sheltering cloud. Let's do some reading cay? Watch this video ^_^

Subhanallah...what do you think? A simple story yet it holds such deep meaning. The state of the heart is really something we need to take notice. Something we must always look after because it changes everything. It changes who we are. People may not notice but know that our hearts never escape the knowledge of Allah s.w.t.

No more thinking about what people think. Put Allah first, ALLAH! And He'll handle the people we're so worried about before. He will because He knows best as opposed to us who get confused when given options.

Let's solve this fundamental problem together and together heal our hearts. It's gonna be a lot of work but it's a cause worth fighting for.

Step 1: In the name of Allah, get rid of unnecessary pride and arrogance.
Don't look down on others! Look in the mirror and see our own blemishes that need fixing. Remember the sheltering cloud :)

Simple? Childish? It's okay. We've got to start somewhere :) insyaAllah.

My fear

2011-08-10T10:33:00.001+08:00

A hypocrite with an eloquent tongue, one who is ignorant of Allah but knows the rules of Allah, one who destroys himself...

Ya Allah, ya Allah...protect us from turning into that. From falling out of the path to You. From forgetting ourselves. From deceiving ourselves. Save us with Your grace and light. Help us. Give us strength.

Please protect me from my fear ya Rabb...Aamiin~

My silence...

2011-08-09T18:14:00.003+08:00

...was what I needed and now the awkward start begins.

I'm different now. Not so perhaps to those who know me. Much so to those who think they know me. I meant no harm. Honest...I just did what I had to do. No more pretending. No more resenting.

It wasn't all a lie. No...I genuinely had moments where my heart felt so at peace. Moments I reached out...bursting with honesty & truth trying to make sense of it all. Trying to connect. But I feel there is something missing, something I still don't understand causing me to be this way. There was something wrong with me and to ignore it any longer would only do more harm than good.

Words don't suffice to explain what's going on with me, forgive me for that. I want to start over...this time insyaAllah with the right foot forward, with my heart in place. I took a risk and it wasn't easy.

So please...let me~

2011-08-09T08:39:00.002+08:00

‎"Kita perlu akrab dengan manusia untuk mengetahui masalahnya, namun yang lebih utama, adalah kita perlu akrab dengan Allah agar kita dapat mengetahui cara untuk menyelesaikan sesuatu masalah dengan sebaiknya."

Benar kan? Kerana penyelesaian itu perlu berlandaskan kepada apa yang diredhaiNya dan bukanlah sekadar pendapat peribadi kita. Kerana yang Haq itu bukanlah menurut ketetapan kita tetapi menurut ketetapan Allah.

Kadang-kadang begitu mudah sekali kita lupa kan? Astaghfirullah...

One that leads to the other

2011-08-08T22:20:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Did some reading today & I came across this saying by Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah~

'Repel the thought, for if you don't, it becomes an idea. So repel the idea, for if you don't it will become a desire. So fight against that (desire), for if you don't, it will become a determination and a passion. And if you don't repel that, it will become action. And if you don't replace it with it's opposite, it will become a constant habit. So at that point, it will be difficult for you to change it.'

I find this to be so true. Sometimes we let ourselves slip from one to the other ever so quickly that a simple thought becomes a habit in a blink of an eye. And at that point it seems we're in trouble of getting out of it even if we want to.

But the key I would say is the word 'difficult'...not impossible...only difficult. Which means one way or another you can do it. You've just got to be willing to face it and stop holding back.

It's troubling sometimes...being curious...but insyaAllah whatever it is that has passed, I pray may Allah help to keep me from having regrets. I wish not to have any.

Besides Allah knows best after all. ^_^

Old company

2011-06-22T13:47:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk :)

The company I'm referring to isn't one that is being run by corporations but rather the presence and being around people. In this case, the company of those who are more familiar to me than others.

It is sort of different because as you grow and meet other people you change in subtle ways in which you might not even realise. But then again, with certain company, what's fundamental remains. And to me, that offers comfort that I need.

Growing up together although miles apart. You know who you are. Hope to meet up soon!

There are other things that are more important than the fear we feel.

2011-06-20T17:31:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Yes, i know...this is the longest I've been without a scrap of news but today I decided to change that. This is not the end at all. I'm still writing and will keep doing so insyaAllah.

My previous post left quite a mark on me. An issue I think I still can't conquer but even so it should not have stopped me on my tracks, my steps to Him. I can't just stay here like this, I need to walk again. :)

It's nice how your own writings come back to teach you. When Allah chooses you to read them again and gain from it. Look at it in a different point of view. Coz what's more important is what's being said rather than the person saying it. And you find yourself who was in the past consoling the you today. Giving the you today strength and hope that you can still turn things around. To make you believe you can.

So I'm gonna finish this post with what I jotted down from the video below if I'm not mistaken. May we all never get tired of trying to be who we are destined to be :)

'If you sincerely ask for guidance, be ready for what you get. It may not be something you like, you may have to give up your desires for it because you are not the one in position in making demands. He is the one who places the demands, you accept them. Don't look at religion as 'why is God not telling me what I wanna hear?' 'Why don't I get to do what I wanna do?' It's not about you. You already acknowledge that you owe Him gratitude. He doesn't owe you anything. So be sincere and submissive in your search. When you find the truth, you submit to it, you put your ego before it. You put it on the ground basically, and you give in to the Lord of the worlds.'

There are other things that are more important than the fear we feel. Have courage... for the sake of Allah.

Sincerity

2011-04-06T17:53:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Here's a video that I'd like to share with all of you. First off let me just say a few things. You know how people tend to get so worked up about other people not being honest with them? Not being able to trust due to the lack of honesty in people? Yeah well, I've seen a lot of that and I feel that way too. Without honesty, trust is hard to come by. Now let me think of it in a different way. How about honesty to one's ownself? Forget about other people for a minute and think this over. Let's ask ourselves this, 'Have I been honest with myself? Or have I been inclined to follow my desires rather than admit truth?'

Can I trust myself? That I think is an important fact to set straight. Why? Because if we can't be honest with ourselves, how will we ever see the truth?

So the key here is to be honest with yourself first to find the truth. There's no use lying, you should know yourself. And knowing yourself is the path in knowing your Creator ^_^

Okay then, let's watch this :)

Note to self.

2011-03-30T07:48:00.002+08:00

'Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.'

Yup, that's right. In times like this, I would remember this saying I heard years ago. A quote I feel is etched in me and better understood as I grow. There are many other things that are more important than the fear you feel. If you could take a moment to realise that the world is not just about you, you'd see why your fear of taking that step is less important than the fact that you must take that step.

It takes courage to get up. It takes courage to pick yourself up and start running again. To run faster than you ever thought you could.

You do have courage don't you? I know you do. So, what are you waiting for?
Get up.

You must.

A silence that speaks

2011-03-16T16:03:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers & sisters ^_^

Last night I came accross this video. It struck me hard. Hard because I could relate to it so much. Those times when witnessing can penetrate you rather than listening and through this story I visualised a truth that cannot be denied.

MasyaAllah, such art in da'wa ^_^

A message I truly appreciate.

2011-03-16T04:04:00.001+08:00

Salam alayk :) To my sisters, do take this message. To my brothers, share this with your sisters.

'Don't limit yourself,'

2011-03-12T14:11:00.001+08:00

...she told me.

InsyaAllah, I won't~

There is only One God.

2011-03-10T03:14:00.002+08:00

Tawheed :)

I found this video and fell in love. hee ^_^ I've always thought videos like this are creative. Simple & most importantly get's the message accross insyaAllah.

Nice ey? Now, now this isn't something only for fun to sing along with. What's more important is for that message to sink in. What's the most important message here? There is only One God. Allah...

Allah alone. No one else...

Good Character

2011-03-09T16:12:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk brothers & sisters :)

These days Allah has given a test in which I have never been through before. MasyaAllah, I see it as a chance for 'amal'! InsyaAllah ^_^ I see now that it's so true when someone said to me before, to be able to really feel that the Quran is meant for you and to understand it is to experience it. What is this experience? How do we experience and feel the relevance of His words? It is to go through the same path as Rasulullah s.a.w our beloved prophet :) Yup, that's how. To know sirah (history) and follow his ways. Then only will you find yourself in the same condition as him and feel the words of Allah in your heart. Feel that Allah is explaining to you what has happened, what you feel & what you should say and do.

After knowing this my brothers & sisters, can you live without doing da'wa? Da'wa which is Rasulullah's greatest sunnah, can you go on living your life without it? You can't!

Here's just one of my favourite videos. A portion out of a speech Hamza Yusuf made. Just to remind me of the importance of 'akhlak'. One of the most important things in da'wa :)

InsyaAllah, may He guide me through this and give me strength. May He give strength to us all.

Wisdom found!

2011-03-07T15:12:00.003+08:00

MasyaAllah! ^_^

Salam alayk brothers & sisters! Why am I so excited? Coz as I was flipping through my notebook I found hidden wisdom! hee :) What do I mean by that? Well, it was something I jotted down quite a while ago and I totally forgot about it. Let me write it here then.

Hasan Basri (Rahimahullah) advised some of his students, admonishing them about avoiding the state of being proud. He said, 'Do not decieve yourself into being too proud because you are in a good & righteous environment, for there is no place that is better than paradise, and our father Adam experienced there what was known to all. Do not become proud merely because you worship often, for consider what happened to Iblis after he spent a great deal of time worshipping. Do not think yourself great because you have met with righteous people, for there is no man more righteous than the prophet, yet the disbelievers and hypocrites did not benefit simply by knowing him.'

You know, I was thinking. Sometimes we tend to decieve ourselves a lot more than other people. I mean, we may think we are smart at decieving others but the one we are actually decieving is our ownself. Didn't get what that meant before when as a child my mum told me, 'If you don't keep your promise, you are only lying to yourself.' I understand now mama. :) Jazakillah~

Three loaves of bread.

2011-03-07T05:11:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk ^_^

Something light tonight before I study. Have you heard of this story? Starting off with 3 loaves of bread. A simple story exposing a simple truth that only the heart that is willing to see and listen would understand deeply. May that heart be yours and mine insyaAllah :) Let's watch!

Astaghfirullah...may He protect us all from being decieved by this dunya. An ustaz once shared something about the companions' iman. They see the dunya and treat it as if it is a mirage...an illusion..therefore they have no interest in it. One of the examples being that they have no love for wealth and give it away so easily, and we know how they live with only the very basic of things. Well, in return for that as they hunger akhirah and long for it so much, to them, Allah made akhirah seem so real. MasyaAllah! :)

Incredible don't you think? To really know what's important up to the point that Allah let's you take a glimpse of that eternal life. Subhanallah...reflect on how we are!

A poem, when my words just don't seem right. Allah gave me this.

2011-03-04T14:52:00.001+08:00

Do watch!

Worry ends when faith begins :)

2011-02-23T17:07:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk brothers & sisters ^_^

Just before I go off to class here's a song I'd like to share with all of you. May we begin our day with a great start and may Allah always be in our hearts. Ameen~

To witness...

2011-02-21T21:39:00.004+08:00

...is to spread the word, the feeling, the understanding, the whole deal until another feels the same way as though he or she has witnessed the same thing.

That's what witnessing means, it's not merely seeing something with your two eyes and be done with it. No...When you are a witness, you have a responsibility to transmit truth. You have a duty to fulfil. A duty our prophet Rasulullah s.a.w has been doing all his life. So did his companions, and those who came after them. A duty to do da'wa. To do da'wa for the sake of Allah.

What is this truth that we must spread? What is the ultimate truth?

The truth that Allah is the One and Only God...
The truth of His deen. The understanding of our purpose, our journey & our destination.

InsyaAllah I'll write more on this soon. Here's a nasyid by Dawud Wharnsby. Do take it as food for thought and also for your heart. ^_^ Salam alayk~

It begins with you.

2011-02-21T01:04:00.004+08:00

Salam alayk brothers and sisters ^_^

Alhamdulillah, all praise to Allah. I just got back from a program in Meath and I'd like to share a video that my sisters shared with me :) It's very simple and straight forward. So true that it went straight to my heart.

:) That was something wasn't it? Subhanallah. Even without understanding the language, the message is universal and clear. In this video what they're singing is basically 'You go and all of india will go with you.' Simply said, it's important for you to take the first step coz with that, the rest will follow insyaAlllah. That's all it takes.

The first step is the hardest. Look at that boy. Logically he would never have been able to move that tree away from the road but he did try to anyway right? And it wasn't like he was fooling around knowing he can't do it, he tried his hardest! He pushed with all his might! And his action sparked other people to the same. Doing something although it seems impossible. We could really apply that in our life don't you think? :)

Fretting about things happening around us, putting the blame on others and in the end just complaining without a single act being done towards solving the problem. Where does that bring you? No where.

On the road to jannah, ask for strength from Allah. Spreading His word is the duty of every muslim. Don't wait for others, you start. It begins with you!

39:53

2011-02-17T16:39:00.004+08:00

What's that you ask? One of my favourite verses in the Quran. Az-Zumar verse 53 ^_^

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters :)

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah for today, right at this moment, Allah has still given you and I life. May this moment be one full of remembrance of Him insyaAllah and may He be in our hearts, our thoughts, and our every being every step of the way. I'm off to class shortly but before that here's a video I'd like to share. It's quite a long one but I assure you that you'd love it. I know I do and insyaAllah hopefully I get to start my day well. May Allah give you time to watch :)

Regarding the verse I mentioned, let me just write it down here.

'Katakanlah, 'Wahai hamba-hambaKu yang melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri! Janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa semuanya. Sungguh Dialah yang Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang. Dan kembalilah kamu kepada TuhanMu, dan berserah dirilah kepadaNya sebelum datang azab kepadamu, kemudian kamu tidak dapat ditolong.'

[Az-Zumar 39:53-54]

Yeah I added the next verse too. This video made me see the importance of it collectively than on it's own. You'd understand if you watch. hee :) Besides, the whole Quran should be viewed and understood collectively as a whole and not seperate. InsyaAllah, slowly we'd be able to reach that kind of understanding.

Watch with your heart all right? Bismillah :)

Pick up where I left.

2011-02-17T07:43:00.005+08:00

That's what I need to do and not only that, I should run forward as fast as my heart would take me. Run faster, much faster than before.

Salam alayk my brothers & sisters ^_^

MasyaAllah. How important it is to have people around you to remind you, to bring you back. Although you might not realise what you've done, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening my eyes once again. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah :)

It touches me, to see you wanting happiness for others. It touches me to see you care so much and somehow it is as though I could feel the sincerity of your thoughts. How what you feel is genuine and true. Alhamdulillah, for Allah has given such capability to you and may He continue choosing you and protecting you always. Ameen~

See? It's true that akhlak has an effective way of reaching a person's heart and this of course reminds me dearly of our beloved prophet Rasulullah s.a.w. How fortunate to be a person who reminds others of Rasulullah don't you think? :) The example & mercy to us all.

It's not too late. Not yet. For me to catch up and run. As for you, don't you dare fall behind. We're going to the same place aren't we? Although we go seperately but insyaAllah we'll meet in the end. Let's go! ^_^

Reality.

2011-02-16T20:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it feels like everything is crushing down and you want to understand and be truthful to yourself. What if truth is something you can't bear? What if you're a coward pretending to have courage? What if the one you hurt...is yourself?

I guess the past weeks haven't been so light on me but that was then. This is me now taking charge and wanting to break free from this feeling insyaAllah. The world around me is moving so fast and I can't afford to stay put here. Although sometimes in order to see things clearly, one has to stay still to allow facts to sink in. Stay still to think and understand. But after that what one should do is to get up and take action and we need strength for that. Strength that only Allah alone can give and that we must ask for in order to get it.

I apologize for not writing. Truth is as I have been saying so many times before there are so many things I wish to share that have yet to be posted. But that's okay, we'll take it a step at a time :) I don't regret the days that have gone by without updates here. I've learnt not to regret on what has passed. Not saying that it's easy but just to strengthen our belief when we say we trust that whatever Allah has destined is what's best. Yes, I believe that and it's time that we act out what we believe in.

Have you ever wondered why you act so foolishly against your own principles? I do think of that and the answer I come up with is because I let my guard down and let my nafs take over. And we all know that nothing good ever comes when your nafs is what's driving you. Astaghfirullah. I take it as a lesson from Allah. The fact that whatever will I have is from Him and Him alone and that I deserve no credit. Also the fact that one can never be too proud of his or her principles because the only One to help you abide to it is Allah, not yourself.

It's a shame and I do feel ashamed but there is no use in fretting about it now. What I can do is to be stronger than I was before. So long as Allah knows, it matters less what other people think. I trust if I mend things with Him, He'll take care of it better than I ever could. I wonder if any of this makes sense to you. Haha...perhaps not :P But that's okay, I felt I had to write this anyway. Let it be a start so that I write more soon ^_^

Do remember that Allah controls everything and everything happens at His will whether you like it or not. Stop dreaming that you can oppose that coz the reality is you can't. Submit to Him, devote yourself to Him in every way you can. InsyaAllah, may the reality of your life then be worth while~

Always be there.

2011-01-24T07:35:00.004+08:00

Who is it that's always there? Who else if not Allah? ^_^

You know, years ago my mum told me an ayah that's become one of my favourites right up till now. Only years later I found out that it was the same ayah our beloved Rasulullah s.a.w. told Abu Bakr when they were hiding away in a cave.

:) That's quite a clue already. hee...so what's the ayah?

'La takhof wa la tahzan, innallaha maana.'

(Don't be afraid and don't be sad, verily Allah is with us.)

MasyaAllah...how those words seep into my heart and soul. There are times we feel so weak and vulnerable. I've been having a fair share of those times myself too and it all comes down to the fact that it's us that needs Allah. We need Allah.

And guess what, He is always there for you ^_^

What it means to be humble...

2011-01-23T09:25:00.002+08:00

That's a question that has been running in my mind very often. What it means to be humble, what it takes to be humble...and I find myself feeling that the word 'humble' itself really misleads us into thinking that it is something simple to attain when in fact it is not.

It is not easy to be humble, not with a proud heart. And being humble is not just about how you portray yourself but more importantly it's about how you feel inside. How you look upon the world, upon other people and still remember who you really are despite whatever circumstance you come across.

Why do we take pride as though it is noble? The part where you feel you are better than others eats you up, turns your heart to stone. How can light penetrate stone? Your heart will then be dark and what can be more terrifying than not to be brought to His light? Not to recieve His light. Astaghfirullah...

This heart needs to be taught, needs to be tamed...it cannot be proud. If it is not for the deen that has been given to us by Allah, we are worthless. What we should be proud of is the deen and not ourselves. All praise is to Allah and not ourselves.

We come from humble origins. So humble yet Allah chose us to reach heights higher than any other creature He has created...but that still doesn't change who we were, where we came from and we must remember that. I must remember that.

All we do, is from the will of Allah. Don't think that it is from our own will. It really is not. Allah chooses...pray that He still chooses you.

Here's a video I watched by brother Nouman. Do watch, salam alayk~

Comfort in a broken heart: Part 2

2011-01-21T03:37:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk ^_^

I did say I will elaborate further on this right? Alhamdulillah now I have time to do so, so here goes.

Let's just recap the saying.

"Allah is with the broken hearted. When your heart breaks, it's a good thing - the breaking of the heart is what opens it up to the light of Allah. The dunya is designed to break your heart, to crush it."

-Shaykh Hamza Yusuf-

MasyaAllah. You know what I first thought about when I read this? It's the fact that Allah is so comforting and that the dunya just cannot have a place in our hearts. It also occured to me that there is a reason our hearts are broken, are crushed although it's not something we enjoy. You see, without a broken heart, how could you feel the sweetness of comfort? How would you even know the meaning of comfort if everything has been going your way?

That's just how it is. We appreciate warmth when we're cold, we appreciate food when we are hungry and we appreciate air when it's hard to breathe. Alhamdulillah for Allah has created opposites, has created things in pairs. Has ensured everything is in it's place and that everything has it's cure.

And when He created the dunya that He keeps mentioning in the Quran to be a place that decieves us, He made it in such a way so that we are not attached to it. Who would pick something that hurts over what heals? Right? But the problem is we have been fooled till we could not see the dunya for what it truly is. Fooled till we don't see akhirah and we feel as though it is so far from us.

My dear brothers and sisters, that broken heart that hurts so bad is actually a cure! A cure to bring you back to Allah, to make you realise and to make you see that this world is not where you're meant to be. To humble your proud heart to the One that owns it. To cure you from feelings you shouldn't have. From diseases of the heart that satans never give up on planting. To free you from all that is other than Allah. To give meaning to your life.

Rejoice in that broken heart. Savor it for indeed it is actually a gift. A gift He knows you can handle. A gift He knows you need.

A reminder for my heart and yours.

2011-01-15T23:50:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters ^_^

Alhamdulillah, I've gone through half of my final exams and awaiting for the other half next week. MasyaAllah, only Allah knows how I feel and to me, it's enough that He knows and understands. I read a brother's blog today that brought tears to my eyes. How indeed that everything that happens to you is by Allah. Everything is by Allah...

Just saying that should calm your heart. Knowing that it's by Allah, trusting and truly believing that. Accepting what is meant to be yours, not hoping for otherwise and being content.

Here's a video that's very close to my heart. I just wish to share it with you. A reminder that I'd constantly need so that I remember who I am. Do watch~

Ya Allah, forgive me. Forgive my heart. Forgive my brothers and sisters ya Allah. Only You can grant us forgiveness. Only You and no one else...and we don't need anyone else, we don't have anyone else other than You. Pull us close to You ya Allah.
Ameen~

Comfort in a broken heart.

2011-01-12T19:08:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Here's an interesting saying I got from a friend. I do wish to elaborate further on what I think about this saying but right now time doesn't permit me to do much of that yet. It's okay :) I'll just post this up anyway for thought ey?

"Allah is with the broken-hearted. When your heart breaks, it's a good thing. The breaking of the heart is what opens it up to the light of Allah. The dunya is designed to break your heart, to crush it."

-Shaykh Hamza Yusuf-

Such a deep thing to say don't you think? I was immediately touched upon reading this. InsyaAllah, if it's meant to be I shall write later on my thoughts about this saying. But one thing I can say now is, there is comfort in a broken heart. My brothers and sisters, is there a better comfort than Allah?

Till I write again, may Allah take care of you and I from the whispers of satan and from our own nafs. Ameen~

A miracle missed among the countless miracles~

2011-01-09T05:04:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters,

Here's something I never knew. MasyaAllah...Do watch! :)

Subhanallah :')

A song for Mama :)

2011-01-07T02:31:00.001+08:00

Salam alayk~
This is dedicated to you mama :) Love you!

No where else to turn to

2011-01-06T18:46:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk :)

This morning I was searching for food for my heart and I found this video. At first what intrigued me was the title. Satan's trick? Wow...what is it? But then I found something more valueable in this video later on. Subhanallah. Watch it first before you read what I have to say next.

Subhanallah. I do hope you watched it. hee :) I was really attracted to the story brother Nouman shared when he went to the mall. Seeing a child get yelled at by his mother and yet still clinging on to her. Not caring about the rest of the world around him and still wanting his mother. MasyaAllah... It is true, the fact that we've sinned ever so much and we still turn to Allah. Why? Coz there really is no where else to turn to but Allah! Although we've wronged Him and such, we still cling on to Him and that is how it should be. That's how He likes it! MasyaAllah, Ar-Rahim...He loves it not only when we cling but when we cling on tighter!

Ya Allah...do forgive our sins. O' Lord who knows our sins better than we do. Who conceals and hides away our embarassing sins from knowledge of others. The One who keeps and knows all secrets. Forgive us ya Allah~

Treat our enemies as enemies should be treated.

2011-01-05T19:40:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters :)

Just something to watch in the midst of our serious studying.

MasyaAllah, are we as confident as that brother in the video? Or how many times did we fall to the whispers of satan? Let's be stronger! Defeat those satans. Their our enemies remember???

'Dan jika syaitan mengganggumu dengan suatu godaan, maka mohonlah perlindungan kepada Allah. Sungguh, Dialah Yang Maha Mendengar, Maha Mengetahui.'

[Fussilat 41:36]

Perasaan hari ini...

2011-01-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

...bahagia melihat kebahagiaan orang lain :) Hamba-hamba Allah yang bersungguh-sungguh bekerja demi mengejar cinta Allah. Mengejar redha Allah. Subhanallah...adakah aku selama ini buta kerana tidak dapat melihat betapa istimewanya akhawat di sekeliling ku? Adakah hatiku selama ini terlalu memikirkan diri sendiri? Astaghfirullah...

Aku bersyukur kerana masih diberi peluang untuk melihat apa yang sebelum ini tertutup dari pandanganku. Bersyukur kerana Allah masih memilihku untuk sedar. Untuk bangun dari tidurku. Alhamdulillah...sungguh, sakitku ini rupanya nikmat...nikmat yang tidak ku sedari. Alhamdulillah :)

Without You

2011-01-02T16:21:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk~

I just listened to this song today and I thought I'd share it with all of you. My dear brothers and sisters :) How many times do we actually think about this? The fact that, without Allah...nothing holds any meaning.

It puts a smile on my face...

2010-12-31T03:31:00.004+08:00

...to reconnect with old friends :) Although not face to face, although not even through conversation but only through the heart. Because when something is done for Allah, time and distance seems so little to be a problem. It's like you can just pick up where you left off and you know you feel at ease doing so.

And what I love most is to see how you've grown, how we've grown to be where we are meant to be coz that's what's best for us.

I envy you at times coz you don't know how special you are :) You don't know how you could touch my heart anytime without even trying. May you find what you are looking for and be steadfast. Don't put restrictions to yourself saying you can't do this and that coz truth is you can and I want to believe that I too can do the same.

I miss you and I hope you know that.

Salam alayk~ ^_^

Calm down...

2010-12-22T22:28:00.002+08:00

Listening to this, I felt that. I calmed down. And why wouldn't I after hearing the beautiful names of Allah.

Stop...and think. Sometimes when you keep running forward you get carried away and your niat gets diverted. Although very slightly it still is off track and you can't allow that to happen. You are fooled by small accomplishments. You dwell on them too much when there is so much more to be attained. Forgive me Ya Allah. All this is You...All praise is to You. Protect me from thinking it is me. Protect me ya Allah.

Calmness...how I wish for it. The middle way...moderation. Yes, that's the way to go with things. So that I don't get too happy or too upset. I want to be so in love with you ya Allah but I have to stop merely saying that. There has to be proof! Where is it? Astaghfirullah :'(

All that I say, all that I write...I will one day be judged upon all that. Be judged! Give me strength to do more than what I say. To perform better than what I advise. To stop merely saying and not doing.

Forgive me ya Allah :'( Save me.

I recall a dua made by an ulama once before. He said, 'Oh Allah, don't punish me for I am admitting what I have done. People think I'm a good person but I'm the most evil if they knew.'

An ulama said that! Even Rasulullah begs for forgiveness...masyaAllah...

Allah...Don't make me forget this is all You...
Please...forgive me...forgive my heart.

What are you waiting for?

2010-12-22T01:49:00.004+08:00

Faces of hope, joy & love. Yes, I see a lot of that today after spending such long hours at the airport. A little girl finally meeting her father. A wife in her husband's embrace. Friends meeting long awaited friends. Family all together again. Such warmth all that spreads despite the chilling cold creeping in my bones. The warmth of love & of goodness. Of pure hearts.

I could only smile witnessing all this as I too join the crowd waiting. Waiting for my dear friend, my sister to walk out that door.

Then I thought, masyaAllah, Allah is Great. Great to have given us all the chance to experience such feelings. To experience love and you know what? No matter how sweet that love is, it is nothing compared to what He has in store for us. Compared to what He has saved for us in the hereafter.

Doesn't it make you curious? Make you feel intrigued to know what else is out of this 'overrated dunya'? Yes it is overrated and you should know that. You should feel that.

A sister asked me once, 'What is home to you?'. I recalled this phrase upon hearing that question. 'Home is where the heart is.' Yeah. That's true. It is where the heart is and how I'd like to describe it, home is where you feel you belong. A place where you don't feel out of place. A place where your heart will feel nothing but calmness...

Dunya...is not my home.
Therefore dunya cannot be where my heart is, cannot be where I belong.

My heart has to be with Allah! It has to be...and so must yours. It can't stay here.

No plane can bring your heart to where it should go. And guess what, you don't need one...coz all you need is you. You need to bring your heart home. No one else can do it for you. Ask for Allah's guidance and move! Don't stay here. Don't depend on anyone other than Him. Bring yourself home.

Allah is waiting for you.

What are you waiting for?

Embrace difference

2010-12-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

:)

You know when I think back, I feel silly and yeah...I should feel that way coz I was. Why? Well I was being childish I suppose. A good way of phrasing it I'd say. Why? Coz I was offended when I shouldn't be. When I could've been more patient with things.

What was I not patient with? Difference.

'Dan taatilah Allah & RasulNya dan janganlah kamu berselisih, yang menyebabkan kamu menjadi gentar dan kekuatanmu hilang dan bersabarlah. Sungguh, Allah beserta orang-orang sabar.'

[Al-Anfal 8:46]

Reading this verse, I suddenly remembered what Umar said when Abu Bakar tried to calm him down after our beloved prophet passed away. Abu Bakar told him a verse in the Quran that brought him back to reality with an advice that even touched my own heart. The fact that if you worship Rasulullah, he is only human and would one day pass away and return to Allah and the fact that if you worship Allah He forever lives. Just because Rasulullah has died, would you go back to how you were before being blessed with light?

What did Umar feel? He felt as though he had never heard that verse before. Never memorised it. Never felt it in his heart when he very well did know that verse. It slipped away that split second due to immense grief and it took Abu Bakar...his brother to remind him and bring him back.

Astaghfirullah...that's how I feel. I feel as though I've never read that verse above [Al-Anfal 8:46]. As though I never came across it coz I forgot about it and allowed myself to get offended. I forgot about it till the pages of the Quran that slipped through my fingers brought me to this verse and brought me back.

'Wahai manusia! Sungguh, Kami telah menciptakan kamu dari seorang laki-laki dan seorang perempuan, kemudian Kami jadikan kamu berbangsa-bangsa dan bersuku-suku agar kamu saling mengenal. Sungguh, yang paling mulia di antara kamu di sisi Allah ialah orang yang paling bertakwa. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui, Mahateliti.'

[Al-Hujurat 49:13]

Difference...that's rahmat and we tend to forget that. We tend to not see it that way. I mean think about it, what would the world be without difference? It would be unimaginable.

When two surfaces are different, there's friction and friction generates heat right? Was that why I felt a fire burning in me? Anger in me? Astaghfirullah...that was not the way. I must embrace difference...embrace it. Lubricate those two surfaces and there will be friction no more :) What's the lubricant? Faith and love for Allah. Don't be silly and make a fool of yourself over petty things. Grow up! ^_^

Grow up and have courage to embrace difference :)

What you are worth...

2010-12-18T08:38:00.003+08:00

Something opened my eyes today and I like to think of it as not being a coincidence but rather meant to be. In fact, that's how all of us should think and should believe really. The fact that things happen for a reason and that they are predestined. Nothing goes by coincidence or the term scientists like to use, 'by chance'. Surely there is a lot to talk about when discussing what I just mentioned but let's put that aside for now. Let's focus on what exactly was this so called incident that opened my eyes.

Twice today I've been reminded about worth. You can't imagine how different those two ways were but nonetheless they brought to my attention the same thing. What is that? Your own worth.

I don't know if you've ever felt this but there are times, perhaps many times we wish to be other people. That doesn't have to be all negative but I think the boundaries between can somewhat get blurred till you don't realise that what you hope for has gone a bit too far. Wanting to be someone else...that can't be right because the one you should be is you. It wouldn't be wrong at all to respect and be inspired by great personalities. What is wrong is to want to be them...exactly the way they are.

There's also another thing that I don't quite agree with. It's the way we say 'this is who I am'. So confidently we say, 'don't expect me to be anything but me therefore you can't make me change'. You see, change is essential. The only thing that's constant is change. And of course I'm referring to this world and not anything beyond that. When there's a trait in you that isn't quite one that is preferable, how could you be so confident that that trait is just who you are? If you know it's an undesireable trait, one that goes against Allah's wishes...are you happy with it being in you and would you want it to stay?

I mean think about it. Who are you? Are you certain you are who you think you are? Or are you more than that?

'You still don't see what you're worth.' That remark hit me hard. Yes...I guess that's true and astaghfirullah...what a shame. Brothers and sisters we must find our worth...we must find our strength. We're not all that helpless as we may think we are...neither are we weak. We have strength no matter how little and each of us are different which in turn, is also a form of strength.

Be not what you want to be but be what Allah want's you to be. That doesn't stop there though. Be the best in it. We are worth a whole lot more than we think.

Salam alayk~ :)

The little things

2010-12-15T15:49:00.002+08:00

^_^

yup... just little things are what's dearest to me.

Salam alayk brothers & sisters,
Did I start off being too vague there? Well now, what do I mean by little things or perhaps small actions? Here I should say that there has been a 'misnomer' in this (my lecturer Prof Lee likes to say this :P) You know why? Coz those little things are what actually give huge and lasting effects which in turn doesn't make them so little anymore. It's the little things we do in life~

So why say little?

Because those actions, as surprising as it may seem considering the consequences it may give, are just simple actions. Actions that can be done by you and me :) You don't need to be of a certain age group, gender, race or whatever difference you can think of to set us apart. Allah made it in such a way that anybody is capable. Everybody is capable, insyaAllah. Actions that are simple yet go a long way and most importantly, touches the heart rather than the mind and we all know which of the two are more important...right?

Here's a video on our beloved prophet Muhammad. 'The chosen one' sung by Maher Zain. I grew very fond of this video as it portrays those little things that our prophet taught us. The exact little things I was talking about. The same things we tend to forget and worse, feel as though unimportant. Perhaps you've listened to this song many times or even watched this but let's make a change today. Let's pay attention to the little things in this video. Do watch!

Together to paradise

2010-12-12T16:39:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers & sisters :)

Do watch this video. I did, and it made my day. :)

May Allah bless us all. Ameen~

To be certain

2010-12-12T00:57:00.000+08:00

It's a powerful thing to be certain about what you believe in and more so to be certain about what you want. You would have no hesitation and less time spent on your life trying to figure out things. Weighing on choices to make decisions you wish you didn't have to make. But you can't run away from that because life is about making choices. From petty things to those that are crucial because you can never have everything for yourself. Because that is tarbiyyah from Allah.

Do I know what I want? Yes, I think I do but then again when you put more thought in it and when you think of consequences, situations, other people around you...suddenly it's not so simple to simply say 'I want that.' Not anymore. Not till you justify the means.

I wonder too what He has in store for me. This life ahead of me, this breath that I'm taking in right now...what will I be lead to? Do I really know what I want and will that be the best for me? Scarily enough, it might not. Hopefully though, it just might be. Perhaps 'might' isn't such a good word ey? :P hee~ So what do we do? Have faith in Allah. Trust that He will guide you.

You know day by day, I've come to feel it more than ever...the fact that I want Allah to handle my life instead of me trying as if I know what's best. And that is how things go anyway, like it or not and whether you realise it or not...Allah does handle your life. Every bit of it all this time coz ultimately....He is the One that knows best.

And that is something you should always be absolutely certain about :)

Subhanallah, where is your heart?

2010-11-29T01:47:00.003+08:00

This has been a question I've been dwelling upon for quite some time. Those who know me keep hearing me say it. Why? Because it is in fact a very important question that we must ask ourselves. I watched a film trailer just now entitled 'Emak Ingin Naik Haji'. It touched my heart. There was one thing that the mother said that really caught me.

She said, 'Raga mak mungkin tak mampu untuk menyeberangi lautan yang begitu luas...tapi mak yakin, Allah pasti tau...hati mak udah lama ada di situ.'
[I may not have the strength to cross the wide seas...but I know that Allah surely knows...my heart has been there long ago.]

The place she was referring to is Masjidil Haram in Makkah.

Subhanallah. How those words deeply penetrate my heart. To possess such love...it makes me wonder where my heart has gone. For someone to see so clearly what holds meaning in his or her life is incredible. Not everybody in this world could do that. For those who could, not all of them could keep it that way constantly (istiqamah). MasyaAllah...

That old lady in the story knows where her heart is. Do you?

May Allah heal my heart

2010-11-26T08:23:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk brothers and sisters,

Right now I'd just like to say that all of us should always find ways to purify our hearts. Always...coz syaitan would never stop trying to creep in and change the purest of intentions into dark ones. He'd find his way somehow and the only One to protect you would be Allah.

Only Allah~

There is good in our hearts. We just have to look for it and take care of it. I'm not saying it's easy coz it is difficult but that's how we're created...

...to be in struggle.

My dear self...don't worry. Allah is enough for you and insyaAllah He will be the One to save you.

By the way, here's a song I'd like to share. May it hold some meaning for you as it does for me insyaAllah.

Giving salam first ^_^

2010-11-09T15:40:00.004+08:00

Salam alayk brothers & sisters,

Just a thought this morning before I go off to anatomy class. Last night there was a charity event in RCSI called halalicious. Catchy name don't you think? Halal + delicious = Awesome! haha...alhamdulillah.

Well, there were quite a number of people present and surely I knew some of them but there was a fair share of people that I've never spoken to. I thought to myself, what should I do? I don't know about you but I think somehow back home, our culture around us doesn't really promote the fact that we should give salam to other than the people we know. I mean if a stranger passes by you treat the person like a stranger. No way would you suddenly say hello or anything.

But then I thought, what would Rasulullah do? Our beloved...would he have just walked pass without a word? Without a glance? No...peace be upon him, he won't do that. He would look at you and smile. A smile that would calm any heart and he'd be the first to say, 'Assalamualaikum.'

MasyaAllah...to not know that person yet and start off by wishing him such a prayer. Not only that, he would want to get to know you. Want to speak to you and find out who you are so that next time if you pass by, you won't be a stranger anymore. Subhanallah, such character :)

So, I pushed myself to give a go. Went to as many people that I don't know, to get to know them :) and you know, it wasn't so bad after all. Alhamdulillah.

It's a nice feeling, trying to copy Rasulullah even in little ways. hehe... Doing so for Allah. Why don't you give it a go too?

Let's start giving salam first ^_^

An unsuspecting turn :)

2010-11-09T05:26:00.005+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Ever thought of the power of good character? In this I mean 'akhlak'. How strong could it be? Would it make a difference? Would it show you're weak?

No. In fact, history shows us unsuspecting turns that good character could bring. How it could touch the hardest and coldest of hearts. How it can bring light to the dark. Here is a song of such a story, sang by brother Dawud Wharnsby. A story of what happened years ago when Rasulullah came across an old pagan lady and wanted to help her. Wanna know what happened? Do listen first and find out! ^_^

Subhanallah :) Lovely isn't it? Just good character..one rare to find. That's what touched that old pagan lady's heart. Could you have kept smiling if you were in his shoes? Kept on walking and helping her? InsyaAllah, may we be able to...coz we are his ummah!

Peace and blessings be upon you, ya Rasulullah~

p/s: I just noticed the many meanings of the word 'unsuspecting' that wouldn't fit in with the title of this post. Just to say that in this context I meant for it to mean 'not expected'. okay? An outcome that was not expected. ^_^

'Astaghfirullah halazim'

2010-11-04T14:47:00.004+08:00

Salam alayk :)

I'd just like to point out a very small incident yesterday. Well, it wasn't very small to me actually but what I meant by that just now was coz something this small could have just passed by anybody...but not me. hee :)

Okay then, what happened? I was just standing outside the toilet waiting for my mum. Had some bags with me so I just leaned against the wall not really paying attention to my surroundings. Heard someone come down the stairs right beside me so I turned around. (a reflex towards sound and movement I suppose.) I didn't realize my turning was so sudden! In front of me now was a man still far from me actually but seeing that I'm female he looked towards the floor immediately saying, 'Astaghfirullah halazim.'

:)

And I thought to myself. Men like this still do exist. Alhamdulillah ^_^

'Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do.'

[An-Nur 24:30]

To my brothers, may you bear this in mind and may Allah reward you in ways you can't possibly imagine :) Ameen~

p/s- to my sisters, ours will be the next verse cay? hee ^_^

Keep on going...

2010-10-31T06:34:00.002+08:00

I was reading a note posted on IKRAM's facebook page and this particular part captured my attention most. I was in need of a driving force and somehow this fitted it really well that time :) InsyaAllah I hope this may help you too.
_______________________________________________________

Bagi seorang pejuang, walaupun tubuhnya dikelilingi keletihan dan kesakitan, jasadnya dikoyak oleh bebanan dakwah namun iman di hatinya tetap memancarkan cinta dan mengajak kita untuk terus berlari.

Teruslah bergerak, hingga keletihan itu penat mengikuti kita.

Teruslah berlari, hingga kebosanan itu bosan mengejar kita.

Teruslah berjalan, hingga keletihan itu letih bersama kita.

Teruslah bertahan, hingga kefuturan itu lemah menyertai kita.

Tetaplah berjaga, hingga kelesuan itu lesu menemani kita.

_______________________________________________________

^_^ masyaAllah...my heart feels a lot better after reading that. :)

What a way to look at things. To keep moving on till the fatigue we feel will be tired of following us. To run till boredom get's bored of trying to catch us. Is it possible? Yes it is! Why? Because anything can happen if Allah wills it and insyaAllah He will help those on His path.

Never say you can't do something.
Have more trust in Him. He won't let you down.

To my sister with no blood ties whatsoever. Only the same love for Allah~

2010-10-30T14:45:00.002+08:00

Dedicated to my sisters who read this and especially to one person in particular. A sister Allah gave me because He knows that I need you. Just so you remember that I gave this to you before. Just so you don't forget that I love you :)

May you love Allah more than I do ^_^...

Relief...

2010-10-30T03:10:00.002+08:00

...you know, I like that word and indeed I like the feeling even more. To be relieved is a nikmat to me and you feel it most at its peak for only a split second. That split second when a burden is lifted from you, when you no longer worry.

Was I worried? Yes...and I still am. Why? Being alive you should be worried. Worried for you don't know how your end will be. Sometimes I think to myself how often have I actually really worried about the after life rather than trivial things in this world. Things I'd like to say, don't last rather than the things that do.

It's weird to think of after life? Of course not! What's weird is if you don't think about it and if it never crossed your mind. As muslims who believe in the hereafter, we should act in a way that shows that belief. We won't live forever and in fact everyday we approach the last day of our lives. So, what's stopping you from obeying Allah?

Seriously, what's stopping me??!
Astaghfirullah halazim...Forgive me Ya Ghaffar :'(

Feeling relieved is a wonderful feeling, but I haven't felt true relief yet. Coz true relief is saved for later. Once we know where we end up going. Once we've passed this test of being alive in this world. Allah made me feel some relief after accomplishing things, after sitting for exams, after getting better from sickness etc. but all that short term relief is nothing compared to what lies in store for us in the hereafter.

Eternal relief... I want that.

Don't you?

A story by Shaykh Al-Yaqoubi ^_^

2010-10-28T03:30:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters. How are u today? :) How's your iman today?InsyaAllah may all of us be well :) Have you ever heard of Shaykh Al-Yaqoubi? Well, I came accross this name early this year I think...or was it last year? Nevermind that, point is I've learnt a lot from him and alhamdulillah for Allah gave me the opportunity to have found his talks. Now I'd like to share with you a short simple story he gave. Here goes~

Smart don't you think? ^_^ MasyaAllah...

Dangers of Heedlessness

2010-10-25T20:22:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters. I do hope you'd take some time to watch this video by Syaikh Hamza Yusuf :)

May we be more aware of our surroundings and stay far away from being heedless and ignorant. InsyaAllah. Ameen~

Ana bahagia ^_^

2010-10-25T07:41:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillahirabbil alamin... itulah yang ana rasa hari ini dan ana bersyukur diberi peluang merasa begitu. Satu perasaan yang damai hingga menitis air mata ana :')

Mengapa ana menangis?

Kerana ana terpesona dengan Allah :) terpesona dengan Allah sebagai Pencipta. Sejauh manakah kita memahami nama Allah, Al-Kholiq? Dengan nama itu sendiri seharusnya kita sudah pun jatuh cinta pada Allah. Sudah mahu tunduk kepadaNya dan berserah diri kerana sifatNya itu. Dialah yang menciptakan sekecil-kecil benda yang tidak mampu kita lihat sehinggalah ke sebesar-besar makhluk yang tampak sangat hebat di mata kita. MasyaAllah, itu baru satu nama, belum lagi 98 nama yang lain.

Allah mencipta sesuatu itu dengan begitu teliti. Tidak ada yang tercipta tanpa sebab. Semuanya mempunyai peranan masing-masing dan bagi memberi gambaran tentang betapa terperincinya ciptaan Allah itu, Allah mencipta sesuatu makhluk berdasarkan fungsinya. Sebagai contoh, penciptaan malaikat. Malaikat diciptakan daripada cahaya. Sifat cahaya yang kita tahu adalah terang dan menerangi apa yang di sekelilingnya. Begitulah malaikat yang dihantar oleh Allah untuk menjaga orang-orang mukmin. Untuk membantu hamba-hambaNya melihat kebenaran.

Manusia pula ciptaannya daripada tanah. Asalnya seperti tempat yang hina, tempat yang dipijak...tapi adakah benar api itu lebih baik daripada tanah seperti yang dikatakan oleh iblis? Tidak...dia salah.

"...Dia berfirman, 'Sungguh, Aku mengetahui apa yang tidak kamu ketahui."
[Al-Baqarah 2:30]

Tanah itu jika diambil, ia mudah untuk dibentuk dan dari tanahlah keluarnya bermacam-macam jenis hasil. Bukankah itu sifat yang sesuai bagi tugas manusia? Tugas manusia untuk berada di muka bumi ini sebagai khalifah Allah, sebagai makhluk yang memakmurkan bumi. Tanahlah yang paling sesuai! Maka itulah yang Allah gunakan.

Subhanallah...

Gambar yang diambil di Gallway :)

Hari ini dalam perjalanan pulang ke Dublin dari Gallway ana rasa begitu banyak yang ana dapat dari perjalanan itu sendiri. Melihat alam yang terbentang luas dengan tumbuh-tumbuhan, haiwan bermacam jenis, laut, bukit-bukit hijau, bukit-bukit berbatu dan langit Allah yang berdiri teguh tanpa tiang. Semua ciptaan Allah yang diciptakan untuk kita, manusia. Hanya melihat ciptaanNya sudah buat ana rasa tenggelam kerana hakikatnya kita ini sangat kerdil dan Allah itu Maha Besar. Kemudian ana terfikir, adakah Allah melihat ana yang seperti titik kecil ini di sebalik segala ciptaanNya yang lain? Jawapannya ya! Allah melihat bahkan Allah mencintai kita lebih dari apa yang dapat kita bayangkan!

He does see you, He does love you, He's patient with you not remembering Him and is waiting for you to remember! Always there and still there waiting for you to ask His forgiveness. Waiting for you to reach for Him for He's held out to you long before.

Waiting for you to love Him.

Astaghfirullahhalazim...wujudkah sesuatu yang lebih layak untuk dicintai? Tidak! How could you not love Allah? How could you?!

Dan ketika itulah air mata ana mengalir...dan ketika itulah ana bahagia ^_^

Gambar di Gallway lagi :)

Ya Allah, kurniakanlah petunjuk dan hidayahMu kepada kami dan janganlah Engkau pesongkan iman kami sesudah kami dikurniakan petunjuk. Kasihanilah kami, rahmatilah kami, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami ya Allah. Tambahkanlah keimanan di dada kami serta keyakinan kami terhadapMu. Selamatkanlah kami ya rabbal alamin.

Doa ketika duduk di antara dua sujud

2010-10-16T23:19:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Hari ini sekadar ingin berkongsi sebuah peringatan yang ana rasa begitu menyentuh perasaan. Mungkin selama ini kita mengambil ringan bacaan-bacaan sewaktu kita menunaikan solat kerana kurang penghayatan ataupun kerana kita tidak memahami apa yang dibacakan. Mari kita lihat betapa besarnya makna salah satu daripada doa-doa tersebut.

BESARNYA makna DOA YANG KITA LUPAKAN - semasa duduk antara dua sujud. (Diambil dari sini.)

Dalam tidak sedar, setiap hari kita memohon dalam solat kita tetapi sayangnya, kita hanya memohon tanpa memahami. Sekadar tersebut dibibir, tetapi tidak tersentuh dari hati kita selama ini.

Marilah kita mula menghayati doa ketika kita duduk di antara dua sujud semasa solat. Dengan rendah hati nyatakanlah permohonan ampun kepada Allah, Rabbighfirli (Tuhanku, ampuni aku). Diamlah sejenak, buka dada dan diri kita untuk menerima ampunan dari Allah.

Tetaplah membuka diri kita untuk menerima ampunan Allah. Ulangi permintaan itu beberapa kali hingga kita merasakan ketenangan. Kemudian sampaikanlah permintaan kedua, Warhamni (sayangi aku). Diam dan tundukkanlah diri kita untuk menerima kasih-sayang Allah yang tak terhitung besarnya.

Bukalah dada kita seluas-luasnya agar semakin banyak kasih-sayang Allah yang kita terima. Ulanglah beberapa kali hingga kita merasa cukup. Berturut-turut sampaikanlah permintaan-permintaan berikut dengan cara sebagaimana tersebut di atas, satu persatu..

Wajburnii (tutuplah aib-aibku)

Warfa'nii (angkatlah darjatku)

Warzuqnii (berilah aku rezeki)

Wahdinii (berilah aku petunjuk)

Wa'Aafinii (sihatkan aku)

Wa'fuannii (maafkan aku)

Setelah selesai, diamlah sejenak lalu sampaikan rasa syukur kita betapa besarnya nilai doa ini, sebuah doa yang kita hanya remehkan begitu sahaja.

MasyaAllah. Apabila dibaca dengan penuh kesedaran sebegini, perasaannya berbeza kan? :')

Irish Muslim Magazine

2010-10-09T06:10:00.000+08:00

I was on my way to the surau this afternoon and at the bookshelf right in front of the surau my eyes spotted the Irish Muslim Magazine. I picked it up and read a short story in it. You might have heard it before just as I did but even so, I still got teary eyed anyway. huhu... Here I'd like to share it with you :) May it touch your heart like it did to mine.

Ever wonder why do we read the Quran even if we can't understand a single Arabic word? This is a short story to demonstrate.

An old American muslim lived on a farm in teh mountains of Eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning, "Grandpa" was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Quran. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could. One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa, I try to read the Quran just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand, I forget as soon as I close the book. There is no use reading the Quran then?"

The grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said " You'll have to move a little faster next time..." and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he we to get a bucket of water instead.

The old man called him & said , "I don't want a bucket of water, I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into the river but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See grandpa? It's useless!"

"So you think it's useless?" The old man said, "...take a look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and now was clean inside out.

"Son, that's what happens when you read the Quran. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside out time by time. That is the purpose of reading the Quran in our lives."

Simple and sweet don't you think? :)

7th of October in Ireland

2010-10-07T13:55:00.002+08:00

:) Today I turn 19...

What do I feel? Well to be honest it almost slipped my mind till a friend wished me. :P People rejoice on their birthdays right? but to me it's a day I'm reminded of responsibilities as to the years of life I've been given by Allah...and now it's reached 19.

I'm still very young as most people say. True...but I believe that age is just a number and that maturity comes from experience, not age. I hope to be able to be mature for what that word really means. I hope to be able to see things more clearly with my heart. Not to act rashly but to think first. To be patient in times I thought I never could. To forgive in those times too. To love and go where true love goes and may Allah guide me to hold the world in my hand and not hold it in my heart.

I need to be stronger and to be steadfast in my steps on my way to Him. To be the best because He wants me to. To bring up His deen! Lailahaillallah.

And if all that fails...I hope to be strong at heart, to be content and to be thankful..for I trust that He knows the reasons for everything and that nothing I do is forgotten or lost.

I hope Allah will give me strength to love Him more and may He give me someone who does love Him more than I do. One who I will help and will help me in my journey to Him. InsyaAllah~

Of colds, sore throats & lemsip :P

2010-09-30T11:44:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk :)

Okay so what's all that about? Well as you might've guessed, I'm currently down with a cold & a sore throat. I can still talk though. Alhamdulillah, for sickness is one of the ways Allah shows He cares :) Shouldn't I be thankful? hee...

Woke up at around 4.30 am this morning coz I slept too early last night and now drinking warm lemsip. I've gotta tell you it really soothes the throat. Wish they'd sell lemsip in Malaysia. I mean people can catch a cold in Malaysia too you know despite warm or should I say hot weather. Oh well, aside from the cold insyaAllah I'm well :)

Class starts earlier today. Finally I'm really into this course I've waited so long for. So far it's been great alhamdulillah. Talked to a bunch of people from all over the world already but still far from knowing everyone in my batch though. Don't worry, on my way to that! ^_^ 2 days ago there was a ceremony for us freshers called the 'white coat ceremony'.. sounds cool? haha... It was done to mark the beginning of the medical course. Like stepping into the field on the way to be good doctors by putting our white coats together. What I liked about the whole thing was the speeches given. I'd say they were speeches you would want to listen to rather than sleep to. Very inspiring you know and I liked the ones given by 3 final students best.

From the way they talked to the content of their speech, insyaAllah I think they'd become good doctors and you should know that being a good doctor does not only depend on how well you do your job but also your attitude. Like one of them said, whenever you ask the ones best in this field about what separates a good doctor from a bad one they'd often say 'empathy'. Yup, I think so too but I'd add another thing though which is iman & takwa :) When I was in the hall I remembered our muslim scholars of the past and felt a bit teary eyed to tell you the truth. Why? Coz they were great in their jobs and masyaAllah that made them even closer to Allah rather than being closer to the world.

I'm about to embark on this journey that they've long gone through and you know how important it is to have the right beginning in your heart (Bidayah Sohihah). To know what you're aiming for right at the start coz even like those final students, when they get caught up in a tight situation, they'd think to themselves and try to remember why did I want to become a doctor? InsyaAllah, when I ask that to myself in the future, I'd want to be able to answer each and everytime that 'All this is because of Allah.'

:)

Dublin :)

2010-09-24T12:34:00.002+08:00

Salam alayk everyone.

Alhamdulillah, I've arrived safely in Dublin and I'm currently amongst such wonderful sisters :) Everywhere we go, there are sisters to offer us food! Haha...so don't worry mama & abah cay? :) Rather than feeling like I'm someplace new, it feels like I've just returned to those who I've known forever and insyaAllah that will come true.

Forgive the late update. Haven't really settled down properly here. Staying at my senior's house for now. Waiting for my own which will take a while but no worries, everything has its own reasons and well what we can do is to make the best of it! :D

Went to the park the other day... loved it ^_^ It's nice to walk in slightly chilly weather. You're not tired and you get to breathe fresh air. Here that is. huhu...Walking on the streets reminded me of London. Those times my family and I would walk to every place we wanted to go coz we didn't have a car. It was nice but well, this time being in europe without my family I do feel the difference. (okay2..I miss my family..hee ^_^)

Class started already :) and yes it's very exciting alhamdulillah. I'm still trying to get the hang of walking to RCSI and also walking around in the building itself. Got lost a couple of times in the building but I'm happy to report that I found my way back home on my own! hehe...

So, till I write some more insyaAllah. ^_^

Salam 'Aidilfitri ^_^

2010-09-08T07:14:00.004+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers & sisters :) Today before I go off to Taiping, here I'd like to wish 'Eid mubarak' to mama & abah, my family, all those who know me and the whole ummah!

Not because it's tradition but because it truly is a joyful day and we should always pray the best for each other :) Sincerely I'd like to ask for forgiveness from all of you. I made mistakes, we all do and Allah's forgiveness is what we hope for. May He grant that to us. And knowing how we hope for forgiveness from Allah, we should know how it feels for those who hope for forgiveness from us. So, do grant it :) may the bond in our hearts stay strong and become stronger. InsyaAllah.

Semoga amalan diterima olehNya dan kita semua mendapat redhaNya..

Aamin~

We don't know how far the ripples of our decisions go.

2010-09-07T07:57:00.002+08:00

And perhaps that's the reason we sometimes don't put into deep thought what we do before doing it. We don't realise that we actually give effect. Take a stone, a pebble for instance and toss it into the lake. I used to love doing this :) and see how the ripples spread. Sometimes it feels as if those ripples on the water could go on and on. And I'd wonder how far they can go. Of course I was little that time. Didn't learn about waves, damping and that it all would stop eventually. No matter, I feel it is always exciting to view the world through a child's eyes for we were once children too :)

So, what exactly is my point? Haha...well, I wish to thank those whose actions, words, decisions...have spread to me like ripples of water. Touching my heart personally and many others. Unlike ripples, the actions, words and consequences to decisions people make may spread through the ages and keep going, transcending whatever boundaries that would've stopped it. From the humblest of actions coming from a friend, a neighbour, a brother to magnificent ones from scholars, dear companions and of course our beloved Rasulullah~

Though perhaps unknowingly, many have touched this heart of mine and willed it to wanting more. Taught it many things it wouldn't have known or felt. Taught it love...taught it how to love for the sake of Allah. In the end when you go to the root of everything, they are ripples from Him Himself :) How fortunate to be chosen to spread His word. To be chosen to be the ones that give effect.

My dear brothers & sisters, He chose us. ^_^

Over all that He's created, we are chosen to spread the word, to be His caliphs. With that such a great responsibility and I feel ashamed thinking of how far we are from fulfilling our duties. From giving the right effect.

And for that I must learn. Learn from those ahead of me in this and I must run to catch up. Hold out my hand and reach hoping for it to be taken. Not to forget to take when someone else reaches out theirs. So here I say, thank you. May Allah bless you many, many times over for He is the best at that~

"Tidak mungkin bagi seseorang yang telah diberi kitab oleh Allah, serta hikmah dan kenabian, kemudian dia berkata kepada manusia, "Jadilah kamu penyembahku, bukan penyembah Allah," tetapi (dia berkata), "Jadilah kamu pengabdi-pengabdi Allah, kerana kamu mengajarkan kitab dan kerana kamu mempelajarinya!"

[Ali 'Imran 3:79]

Don't you want to give the right effect? ^_^

A new look ^_^

2010-09-06T16:27:00.002+08:00

Well it's about time I changed the background of this blog right? haha..and you know what I think? I think it looks great :) New and refreshing! wee~

Something you might not know about me is that I love leaves. Leaves like the ones you see here. It makes me feel serene and who wouldn't feel that way when looking at green? Right? Perhaps it's a bond I have with nature... haha :P I do have a problem with my alma matter being rather barren now. No more pine trees and tall beautiful casuarinas :( It's all tarred roads and heat.

Oh well, what's done is done. Alhamdulillah I had the opportunity to be in school when the trees weren't chopped off yet and I'm very thankful that in Taiping (my kampung) the trees are still there :) Those old trees. I wonder how old they are. I'll be going back to my grandparent's house on wednesday morning insyaAllah. Might get a chance to drive. (I just got my license! ^_^) huhu... May we safely go and return. I might not be celebrating raya at my kampung next year. Looking forward to this one somehow despite the sadness of this blessed month leaving.

No matter where you'll be spending your raya, I hope you'd be filled with joy and happiness. May we all attain His forgiveness~
Aamin...

He saved me.

2010-09-06T10:16:00.006+08:00

I haven't written, I know. I can't begin to say why exactly this is so. Couldn't find words to tell you but rest assured I know Allah knows what's in my heart. Knowing that keeps me strong all the time. Right now, like most of us...I feel sad. Sad that Ramadhan is leaving soon. It passes by so quickly. Too quickly...but that's only what we feel. Time goes on at it's pace like always. Waiting for nobody, always moving forward.

Alhamdulillah...Allah has bestowed upon me so much...upon us all really. Thinking about it all can get you drowned in thought. Just thinking about what He has given us. Right now I'm in the comfort of my home, sitting here typing these words. Alhamdulillah...

I think many would have thought that I'd be filing this blog with many posts especially considering recent events..haha..but I guess once again the pause. It's alright, Allah has His reasons for everything. Let me catch up on some things then. My A-level results have been out for quite sometime. Honestly, it wasn't awesome. I learned my lesson there. I got ABB which is 13 points and alhamdulillah that's enough for me to pass the qualification in order to fly to Dublin. InsyaAllah my flight will be on the 22nd of September :) Off I go to pursue medicine in Royal College of Surgeons Ireland insyaAllah.

"Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Dia medapat (pahala) dari (kebajikan) yang dikerjakannya dan dia mendapat (siksa) dari (kejahatan) yang diperbuatnya. (Mereka berdoa) "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau melakukan kesalahan. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebani kami dengan beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tidak sanggup kami memikulnya. Maafkanlah kami, ampunilah kami, dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah pelindung kami, maka tolonglah kami menghadapi orang-orang kafir."

[Al-Baqarah 2:286]

When I checked my results, I remembered this verse. This has always been a special verse to me. It struck me how He never breaks His word and I felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed because, I know deep down I didn't do good enough for Allah. Not that I'm not thankful. You have no idea how thankful I am. In spite of that, I can't lie to myself and say that I have done my best that time. It all comes down to me doing what He wills me to do and in the end He just handed me all that He wants to. He still gave me the opportunity I would've thought I didn't deserve.

He saved me...again. Something He never stops doing.

Allahu Allah...such mercy He's given me. Alhamdulillah ya Rabbal 'alamin. Alhamdulillah.

You know, sometimes we regret things but now I want to look at it differently. We all believe that Allah has fated everything that has happened, is happening and will happen. I'm teaching myself to really believe that. Like, there are many things I wish to share here but sometimes it just doesn't get written yet. Why? Perhaps because it's not time yet. And there was this one time I did some sharing with my sisters in TKC and it turns out I didn't get to say all things that I wanted to say but I believe that the things I did say, is what Allah wants them to hear. When I think that way I feel at peace and I have no regrets because I know He has planned it all perfectly and I need not worry.

Saying that though, doesn't mean we should not plan or make effort to do things. Being a muslim means we must always do our best. Always because our goal isn't just for us but for Allah, our deen and our ummah. We should strive to be the best there is in our field of study, our field of work, our ways (akhlak)...everything. We must strive for it because we have a duty to fulfill.

Then we shall feel at peace when we succeed for Him and we won't have any regrets if things don't work out the way we expect.

Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kepada kami keikhlasan, istiqamah, kemudahan dan kekuatan untuk beribadah kepadaMu kerana sesungguhnya tiap sesuatu itu datang dariMu. Ampunilah, rahmatilah dan masukkanlah kami ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang beruntung ya Allah.

2 letters from fathers to their daughters

2010-08-18T08:27:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk :)

So today I'd just like to share with you letters written by fathers to their daughters. I wonder if you can identify where I got them :P So simple, yet I find such meaning in them, such wisdom. And yes, the part of me that always loves letters would of course love these :)

1st letter~

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be travelling a road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

How inspiring these words are. I don't know about you but I'm quite sure that we all face fears in our lives. You'd find people we seek advice in, telling us to have courage and I believe the above is such a wonderful way in looking at courage. Saying that it is not the absence of fear. One with courage has fear but chooses to acknowledge the fact that what he or she must do has consequences that are more important than that fear that may have held them back. :) We might tell ourselves that we know we can't do something without trying. Then we won't know who we could have been if we tried. How fortunate it is to have a little courage to allow yourself to make that journey and find out. Right? :) But of course, whatever actions you choose to take, you must always have in mind that it's along the lines of our deen.

2nd letter~

"For what it's worth, it's never too late or in my case too early to be whoever you want to be. It has no time limit. Stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You have no rules to these things. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you have never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you are proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

What do you think of this one? ^_^ One thing I see is hope. That it's never too late for change. Never too late to turn around and start anew and I believe that this is true. True so long as you have not reached death. So long as the world has not yet perished. Though only Allah knows for sure how long you still have hope. But being humans that have no idea of the time duration, we can always try. I like the way he hopes his daughter would see things that surprise her and to feel things that are of a novelty to her. Not to forget, to find people with different perspectives too. All the essence of how Allah makes life interesting as he creates all with such variety.

How important it truly is for a parent to nurture the souls of their children correctly. For a husband to his wife...all so very important. The duty of a man ^_^ surely along with the touch of a woman for both are created by Allah with their differences to complement each other.

Do listen to this! ^_^

2010-08-17T18:04:00.004+08:00

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters :)

Early this year I was browsing the internet, watching videos of talks by muslim scholars till one day I found this american radio station. Meccaone~

click the photo to visit the website

It provides recordings of various discussions held at the station which is really very interesting and I highly recommend you to go check it out! I personally think it helps you to widen your scope of thinking as you'll get to listen to talks on various topics presented from all sorts of people, mostly muslim scholars. All those who love Allah, insyaAllah :) You might find things you've never even thought of before for instance how a person presents Islam through his photography, the different ways people do dakwah, how other muslims of different races from us improve themselves and continue to spread the word. It's just amazing. Some recordings come also in videos you can watch.

I don't know why I haven't thought of posting this up before to share with all of you. Shame on me :( Truth is I have been very excited about it when I found out. And one more thing, the download is free! Perhaps the down side of it is that you need to download iTunes first if you don't already have it but that's free too so, not really a problem right? :P

I do hope, you'd find some good in it ^_^ InsyaAllah~ Please go check it out!

Secret deeds or Secret sins

2010-08-14T11:59:00.007+08:00

If you had to keep a secret, which one would you pick? Which one would you choose to do?

Personally, I like to keep to myself. A loner in a lot of senses I'd say ^_^ Those who know me wouldn't find it weird to see me walking on my own. Despite that, I do enjoy company. Company of those dear to me. Company of people I know and of people I've just met. It brings me joy and yes, it puts a smile on my face. You know one beautiful blessing that I've realised from Allah? A beautiful gift that makes me feel so warm inside. It's the fact that when one tries to hold out his or her hand to another in friendship for the sake of Allah, that bond feels like no other. The bond that can form in a split second making you feel like you've known each other for so long and filled with so much love that you call each other brothers and sisters even without any blood ties holding you together. Even with all the differences that would have set you apart.

And it makes me think back, do I really want to be alone?

Time and time again I ask myself that question over and over. Sometimes rebelliously I'd say yes! I do want to be alone but if I were to ask myself honestly..deep down, for the sake of Allah the answer is no. I don't. The people around me are such special people created by Allah and to them there are rights that I must give. These people..all of you really, help me know my Creator, Allah. And for that I will be forever grateful. And it is from you that I see the truth that I've so long denied.

And that truth is, it is not safe to be alone no matter how strong you are. No matter how well you think you've gotten everything in control. Whatever it is, you need others.

When do you think a person is most vulnerable? I think it is when you feel cut off from everyone else. When you're alone with no one by your side. Why? "Because if it's just you alone, you're not much of a threat." Can you imagine satan saying that?

Well it's true and I am really fearful to think of the ways we torture ourselves. Torture our souls with our secret sins. Sins we hide from others. Ones we do alone. Ones that we do with the awful thought that no one knows what we're doing. That's where we're wrong. Those secret sins are never really secret. Nothing ever stays a secret because Allah knows all...and He is with you, when you do it. Astaghfirullah halazim.

" Orang yang paling bakhil adalah orang yang paling bakhil kepada dirinya sendiri dalam memberi kebahagiaan, dan orang yang paling zalim adalah orang yang menzalimi diri sendiri dengan berbuat maksiat kepada Allah S.W.T. kerana orang yang berbuat maksiat bererti dia telah menghancurkan dirinya sendiri."

-Muhammad Ar-Rasyid-

Astaghfirullah halazim. May we be protected by Allah from ourselves. How different secret deeds are from secret sins. A deed you keep secret is to protect your heart and if it were me, kept secret for I want it to be my special deed with Allah. My special secret with the One I love. But a sin..a sin kept secret kills that heart and brings it to darkness.

It's not about people knowing what you do, it's about Allah. So long as you know He knows, then you'll know which to choose. My dear self, and to all my brothers and sisters...please remember this.

Of the little things

2010-08-14T11:10:00.004+08:00

Okay, I know I'm still quite silent here so here I go starting again. Hoping to get the momentum running ^_^

You see, it's coz my laptop doesn't seem to connect with the internet and the only way for me to get online is through mama's laptop. Oh well, let's see where my fingers take me this time. Last week has been an interesting one. I had Arine over at my house till thursday morning and despite it being my home we're in, her presence made it different. It's as if I'm going on an adventure in my own house :)

Believe it or not for the many years, this is her 2nd visit. Only her 2nd! I can't even remember how many times I've visited her house (I'd say more than my fingers could count!) but yes, I guess living on an island is hard to reach :P At last on sunday evening, she made it.

Sure we do many things together but this time there was a change. What was that? :P For the first time, we both cooked together! Yes, we did! On the 1st of Ramadhan, Arine and I cooked dinner. Mama wasn't expecting it but somehow she did put her trust on us to prepare food that night. That really felt like an achievement to me. Wasn't really thinking about it till Arine pointed out, 'Hey, it's great that your mum trusts us to do this.' I was like, 'yeah :)'.

What did we prepare?

Sup ikan, ayam masak merah and sayur. It tasted great! Really! And I think Arine would be the one to know how happy I was. haha...Well, it isn't my first time cooking or anything it's just that cooking never fails to give me a sense of satisfaction when it's finished. :) And even better is when I see my family finish the food. Childish of me? So be it. haha... I think it's important for us to find things we enjoy doing and to always have that excitement when doing it.

Last night I prepared one of my favourite dishes, tomyam! I used to remember when I was a child, I'd beg mama to cook it everyday. She wouldn't of course coz we can't eat the same thing every single day. haha... Now alhamdulillah, I can prepare it myself ^_^ I'm sorry you didn't get to taste my tomyam Arine. That just means you should come visit me often :P

There's nothing wrong in finding joy in little things in life. Things like meeting a friend, just seeing your sister smile, your parents smile, getting to cook a nice dish, seeing a little flower bloom after pushing it's way through the snow saying 'spring is here!' or even just listening to nature itself. It may strike people as being naive but why should that matter if it gives you happiness? Right? :)

p/s: gosh, no pictures of the dishes we cooked! haha... nevermind :P

A piece of advice for us all insyaAllah :)

2010-08-05T16:48:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t my dear brothers & sisters :)

Alhamdulillah...today, I finally get to write after so long. Alhamdulillah...for I'm still alive this very moment to write this post and given the opportunity by Allah to relay the message of Islam.

From Abu Ruqaiyah, Tamim bin Aus al-Dhari r.a, the Prophet p.b.u.h said that,
"Ad-deenu nasihah" (The deen [Islam] is an advice)

-Riwayat Muslim-

The hadith above is the 7th hadith of the 40 hadiths of Imam Nawawi.

Reading that hadith, it dawned to me on how true it is. The truth that Islam itself is advice. Guidance given to us on this journey of life. I have people telling me their problems and when they do, to them it seems like there is no way out of it. It's like giving up. I too feel that way sometimes but I try not to stop there. Put more thought in it and search for the 'hikmah' beyond what has happened. Search for it. Don't just stop there.

Honestly, if you tell me anything that's bothering you and you ask my opinion on what to do, I can only think of one answer. Not because that's the last resort. Not because I'm out of ideas. Not because I'm lazy to think and I have nothing good to say...but because that one answer is the truth. Because that one answer IS the solution which is, turn to Allah. Turn to Islam. That's the only thing that can calm our hearts regardless of whatever that has happened to us. And that's where we get the best advice.

I always thought that the answer is clear but I know now that to some people it's not. It's okay, I'm telling you then :) The fact that your heart feels uneasy and it's as if life just passes by you without you feeling content deep down in your heart even after accomplishing so much in the eyes of people. Why is that? It's because that heart is far from remembering Allah. Far from being in love with Allah. Far from fulfilling ones true destiny and trapped in darkness. Ones heart which is blinded by satan.

Astaghfirullah halazim...

How scary it is to have a blind heart rather than unable to see with your eyes. Open your heart. Ask Allah to open your heart. Use it to see..my brothers and sisters. Use your heart to see! Coz the truth has always been there...right in front of your faces. Truth is..you already know what to do. You already know where to go to for help and that is to Allah.

I learnt today that when a calamity hits, patience that Allah wants is at that point. That's the point that Allah does not want you to lose control. It's not when it's all over, you've lost control and probably did something reckless (naudzhubillah) and suddenly you say, "Owh.. I should be patient." MasyaAllah it's difficult isn't it? Yes it is! I'm not saying it isn't coz it is! But as I've mentioned before, that's why the reward is so great. SO GREAT because it is SO HARD to do. Supressing the nafs for the sake of Allah S.W.T...that is mujahadah.

InsyaAllah, may Allah give us the strength to hold Him tightly in our hearts. The strength to supress our nafs for His sake...It's not for anybody else my brothers and sisters it's for Allah.
Allah..the true love to us all~

Sabun atau minyak wangi?

2010-06-21T01:25:00.000+08:00

I came across a very interesting short story ^_^ here goes,

Suatu hari, Imam Ibnul Jauzi ditanya oleh seseorang. "Manakah yang lebih baik bagiku, bertasbih atau beristighfar?" Dengan bijak, Ibnul Jauzi menjawab, "Pakaian yang kotor lebih memerlukan sabun daripada minyak wangi."

Jawapan yang padat makna dan sarat dengan hikmah. Dalam erti kata lain, bagi Ibnu Jauzi, beristighfar itu lebih utama dilakukan untuk 'mencuci pakaian yang kotor dari segala noda'.

Menarik bukan? :) Ana begitu tertarik dengan pendapat ini. Semoga sama-sama kita memperoleh kebaikan. InsyaAllah...

'Enable me to see reality for what it really is.'

2010-06-15T21:57:00.003+08:00

That's a prayer that our beloved prophet Muhammad S.A.W. once asked from Allah.

Salam alayk :)
My goodness this is my longest pause from writing a post I think. Forgive me for that. I'm still in the middle of my a-level exams you see. Hope you, the one reading is in great health insyaAllah. I came across an application that would give me a daily Hadith. Meaning different ones to ponder on each day and today it was about 'Hasty judgement'. Now that must be familiar don't you think? It's something we all tend to do once in a while if not all the time. We are hasty in our judgement. What does that mean? It means to immediately draw conclusions without bothering to get all the facts right first. Simplest example would be towards the things we listen to. We may hear things about people which may turn out to be untrue. Which may turn out differently from what we think it means merely due to difference in perspective.

I used to think that to solve things people should talk about it and settle it. You know, really discuss and speak out their minds so that things would be clear to both sides but I notice that it doesn't always work. Especially if you're the only one wanting to speak. So what is there to be done? I'd feel as though I'm at a dead end sometimes....but today alhamdulillah Allah made me come across this Hadith :) and I must say that prayer Rasulullah made is indeed very fitting.

'Enable me to see reality for what it really is.'

Ameen...Yes, may Allah grant us that. The ability to see the truth for what it truly is and not based on our perspective alone. Coz I know now that truth isn't just about how we perceive things. We need to be humble enough to accept other points of view from other people.

We need to be humble enough to try and think of others before our own selves. I was once told off about this and yes, I do see that now. See that what he said is true although maybe that time I did feel like I was being unfairly judged but that doesn't matter. That unfair judgement did teach me something which I think is more important.

There's a blessing in everything that happens and if we try hard enough to understand, insyaAllah we'll be able to see those blessings...even in events we least expect ^_^

Teguhlah wahai jiwa.

2010-05-07T00:36:00.006+08:00

"Ketenangan & kebahagiaan adalah hembusan dari langit...diturunkan ke lubuk hati orang beriman...mereka tetap berhati teguh di kala orang lain dalam kegoncangan."

-Syed Qutb-

Lately, weakness seems to creep into me. An old habit in which I've triumphed over and surprisingly so comes knocking at my door again. It truly is disappointing but as I said before we need to love ourselves moderately remember? In this case, not too little till we wish to be someone else...no matter how disapponted in myself I can get.

There's no point in wanting to be another person, what we should be is a better us. What I should be is a better me.

'Mujahadah itu pahit, kerana syurga itu manis.'

Indeed that's true. I do believe that when there is something that we must do and it pains us ever so much coz we feel it to be so difficult and so hard on us...it's because the reward for it is so great. Beyond whatever greatness we can imagine.

As humans we are weak...but that does not mean we have no strength at all. Strength is none but Allah's and with His love and mercy He gives us strength. Sometimes strengths we never thought we had in us. How loving Allah is for giving us things we don't even ask for.

I can't let this old habit of mine come creeping back into me. I can't be weak and insyaAllah I won't be weak.

Teguhlah wahai jiwa...teguhlah. Teguhlah demi Allah.

Who are you?

2010-05-03T18:30:00.003+08:00

Salam alayk~

A friend shared this with me today and I want to share it with you :)

"I am a traveler seeking the truth, a human searching for the meaning of humanity and a citizen seeking dignity, freedom, stability and welfare under the shade of Islam. I am a free man who is aware of the purpose of his existence and who proclaims: "Truly, my prayer and my sacrifice, my living and my dying are all for Allah, the Lord of the worlds; no partner has He. This, am I commanded and I am of those who submit to His Will." This is who I am. Who are you?"

(Hassan al-Banna)

So simply said ey? How wonderful it is to be able to say this and mean it. To have these words come out of you straight away without you having to structure it as it is apart of your soul. It is who you are. May he be blessed by Allah always.

Cara Mendampingi Allah dan Meraih KecintaanNya

2010-05-01T11:26:00.002+08:00

Salam Alayk semua :)

Dalam sibuk-sibuk nak exam ni saya rasa elok lah kita berehat sebentar dan mengambil iktibar daripada hadis di atas iaitu hadis ke-38 daripada hadis 40 Imam Nawawi ^_^ jom!

Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a, Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: Sesungguhnya Allah Taala berfirman:

"Sesiapa yang memusuhi orang yang setia kepadaKu, maka Aku mengisytiharkan perang terhadapnya. Tiada seseorang hambaKu yang menghampiriKu dengan sesuatu yang lebih Aku cintai daripada ia menunaikan perkara fardhu ke atas dirinya. Hambaku sentiasa menghampiriKu dengan ibadat sunat sehingga Aku mencintainya. Tatkala Aku telah mencintainya, Akulah sebagai pendengarannya yang ia mendengar dengannya, sebagai penglihatannya yang ia melihat dengannya, sebagai tangannya yang ia bertindak dengannya, dan sebagai kakinya yang ia berjalan dengannya. Sekiranya ia meminta kepadaKu, pasti Aku berikan kepadanya, dan sekiranya ia memohon perlindungan kepadaKu nescaya Aku melindunginya."

-Riwayat al-Bukhari

Alhamdulillah...damai terasa hati apabila membaca hadis ini. Tidakkah kita mahu meraih cinta Allah? Sudah tentu mahu! kan?! ^_^

Lets run to Him...run as fast as we can for His hands are open wide for us. It's up to us to either be in His embrace or not. Don't just sit there, RUN! :P

As a friend of mine quoted, "If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl. If you can't crawl then do something...by all means KEEP MOVING!"

Being true and rare..thats two things you dont need to change ^_^

2010-04-21T09:47:00.003+08:00

Arine told me that about a year ago. You know, I think she's about the only person who feels that way. Asking me not to change the fact that I'm true & rare. Aren't those the two things that people just don't get about me arine? haha...

This reminds me of a saying from someone,
"It's not about living forever, it's about living with yourself forever."

Okay, of course it's a movie line but who says we can't be triggered to think from it? Anyways, what caught me was that bit I highlighted. 'Living with yourself'. It doesn't mean live by yourself. No..no that's not it. What it means is to be able to accept who you are and live with it. You yourself accepting who you are. You being patient with yourself. Being patient the fact that you have weaknesses or you don't possess certain strengths like others. You trying hard to correct flaws and even if you fail to, you try harder to not hate yourself for it. Being able to love yourself moderately. Not too much till you go way over your head and not too little till you wish to be someone else. Think it's easy to live with yourself? Sometimes I find it difficult. Ironically, you are one person you can never run away from. huhu.

Allah is Great :) Life is just so interesting!

How an instant can change you.

2010-04-20T07:22:00.003+08:00

:)

There you go. I start off with a smile. Great isn't it? :)
It's funny how one can change completely from one particular feeling to the exact opposite in an instant. In my case right now, from a rather unhappy post yesterday...this morning, this instant at least...I'm happy ^_^

And because of that I want to savior every bit of it while it lasts.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of things to get us back on track. Alhamdulillah, Allah made me visit a friend's blog this morning that opened my eyes and made me smile. Although maybe what he talked about really had very little relation with what's bothering my heart and mind right now...still, Alhamdulillah... :)

I have to be strong and even stronger than before. It takes perseverance right? I guess it's easy to be a child and fret about everything but it takes a lot to swallow whatever faults you've done or those done by other people to you and just grow up and be patient.

Am I still a child? or will I grow up?

I'll grow up!

Strength is none but Allah. Thank you Allah.

People just don't think of death enough.

2010-04-19T15:21:00.004+08:00

I think it's sad when you forget to be yourself and when you change unnecessarily for meaningless reasons. To wake up and suddenly not know who you are. That's just... sad.

Why should you be obligated to be anything else but who you're meant to be? Why does it matter so much about what people say and think of you when you know it's not true? Why try so hard to impress and end up not being able to? ....why?

These days, I spend most of my time alone like many others I guess. That's fine with me because I've always liked it that way. I guess it's just a way of retreating and isolating myself away from people who don't understand me. Going away to take my mind off things and to be at peace.

I realise I keep saying that...'people don't understand me'.

Sounds selfish doesn't it? I agree with you on that but sadly it's true and I'm not just saying this to put the blame on others or anything like that. I'm saying this because that really is the truth. I won't pretend that I know everyone but I do know that I try to and every time I would try my best to put up with how people are.

Many though don't feel the need to do that. To tolerate and be nice. To accept people. To know what to change and what to keep. To know your own flaws and admit it, own up to it. To open their minds....

I'm alrite...really I am...I just wish that people would think more. Use their heads and THINK. If you die tomorrow or right after this, would you still want to be in dispute? Would you?

And that's why I say, people just don't think of death enough.

2010-04-19T15:08:00.004+08:00

I feel so small..so flawed. Incapable of taking care of something and let it stay. The road, i cant see the ending. I just dont know what to do. Stopped in my tracks. hesitating...whether to turn around or to walk on... and im still standing there, not going anywhere. I just wish I have a reason to turn back...and I wish you'd give me one... but how can I turn back to someone who doesn't want me there anymore?

p/s - hey arine...I must say, you've always known the right words to say to describe how I feel and right now when I'm lost for it, I had to take yours to express myself. Hope that's alright with you :) coz this is exactly how I feel.

Penyembuh bagimu dan bagiku.

2010-04-10T08:51:00.002+08:00

"Wahai manusia! Sungguh , telah datang kepadamu pelajaran (Al-Quran) dari Tuhanmu, penyembuh bagi penyakit yang ada dalam dada, dan petunjuk serta rahmat bagi orang yang beriman."

[Yunus 10:57]

My dear brothers & sisters, dekatkanlah dirimu kepada Allah. Lazimkanlah lidahmu membaca ayat-ayat cintaNya. Semoga sentiasa dalam pemeliharaanNya insyaAllah. Andai kita terjatuh sekalipun, Allah tahu kita telah cuba sedaya upaya untuk tidak terjatuh. Keampunan dan pertolonganNya terbentang luas. Teruskan mencuba dan berusaha lagi. Pujuk hati kita. InsyaAllah tenang :)

"Islam datang dengan hujah, bukan dengan emosi."

2010-03-20T13:30:00.002+08:00

Pesanan dari ustaz.

Betul, memang begitulah yang sepatutnya. Namun keadaan hari ini, lebih ramai umat Islam yang beremosi tanpa dapat menegakkan kebenaran dengan hujah. Teguran buat diri sendiri dan juga buat kamu saudara-saudaraku. Kita masih perlu banyak belajar.

It's sad coz I realise how I can't be assertive enough to point out what's right and because of that, yang batil pula tertegak sedangkan yang hak tertimbus :(

Is what I do significant?

2010-03-19T13:10:00.003+08:00

I watched a movie trailer earlier today and there was a man who said this,

"Ghandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it's very important that you do it."

Now how would you interpret that? Well what came to mind when I heard that is I realised how things in life just don't last. They don't, which is why they are said to be insignificant. Why then did Ghandhi say it's very important that we do it anyway? Sort of doesn't make sense right? Well I say, it's because in actual fact what we do IS significant. Why? Because what we do now here in our lifetime is what determines our fate in the hereafter. The hereafter which is eternal unlike this temporary world. An eternal life in akhirat rests upon what we do now...doesn't that make your actions now significant?

You see, realising this we should be comforted in knowing that everything we do counts. Nothing is a waste. Nothing is insignificant. Perhaps what we do may be insignificant to other people but then again don't be so sure about that. People don't realise what we do, so what? You know Allah knows, right? Just because people don't know it doesn't mean what you do is insignificant. We usually don't realise how our existence affects all that is around us. Some way or another we're all connected and with that, we influence one another in good ways and regrettably in bad ways too. It's a matter of choice how we choose to influence others.

"Dan carilah (pahala) negeri akhirat dengan apa yang telah dianugerahkan Allah kepadamu, tetapi janganlah kamu lupakan bahagianmu di dunia dan berbuat baiklah (kepada orang lain)sebagaimana Allah telah berbuat baik kepadamu, dan janganlah kamu berbuat kerosakan di bumi. Sungguh, Allah tidak menyukai orang yang berbuat kerosakan."

[Al-Qasas 28:77]

My brothers and sisters, you are significant ;)

Who says you can't learn something from a movie trailer ey? :P

Istimewanya seorang mukmin.

2010-03-19T08:52:00.003+08:00

Diriwayatkan oleh Imam Muslim melalui sahabat bernama Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan r.a., Nabi Muhammad S.A.W bersabda,

"Ajaib sungguh dengan keadaan seorang mukmin. Keadaannya sentiasa dalam kebaikan dan ini tidak berlaku melainkan hanya pada diri seorang mukmin. Sekiranya dia menerima nikmat kesenangan, dia bersyukur lalu itu menjadi kebaikan kepadanya. Dan sekiranya dia menerima ujian kesusahan, dia bersabar lalu itu juga menjadi kebaikan kepadanya."

Begitulah kelebihan yang diberikan Allah S.W.T kepada seorang mukmin yang menerima apa jua keadaannya dalam keadaan redha dan positif :) MasyaAllah~ Tenang.

Allah sedang berbicara denganmu...

2010-03-18T12:41:00.001+08:00

...tidakkah engkau mahu mendengar bicaraNya itu? ^_^

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters,

Do you believe in that? Believe that Allah is telling you something. Believe that Allah is giving you hints and teaching you.

Well I do :) and I do now more than ever.

Sometimes, we just look at things the way they are without spending time to actually think about them in greater depth. I remember once when I was angry and you know what came to mind in the midst of that anger? I thought to myself, is Allah angry with me? Astaghfirullah halazim. I stopped myself from saying anything and instead I chose silence for I feel that my tongue will not be wise if it speaks. For I feel that my mind was clouded and my heart was not in place.

When we are angry, we don't think much. It just consumes us. That moment it's as if we're of a higher level than the person we're mad at when in actual fact we're not. It seems as though in our minds, we have the right to not forgive. I don't think this is true which is why now, I end up crying if I get so mad. Why? Because I don't want to be mad but being human for that split second I got upset. Remember the 16th hadith from the 40 hadiths of Imam Nawawi?

"La taghdob." (Don't be angry)

Back to what I said just now, I thought to myself is Allah angry with me? Naudzubillah... I wouldn't want that. No one would and I would pray that He'd forgive me. I'd remember that no matter how many wrong doings I'd do, no matter how many times I'd do it, He will always...always forgive me provided I repent. He will always forgive when I ask for forgiveness and He'd love me even more.

How different our Creator is from us His mere servants. We are so impatient and tend to act rashly but Allah...no...

Thinking about it that way makes me feel ashamed for being mad in the first place. It makes me realise how terrible it is to anger someone and worse still...to anger Allah. Alhamdulillah, rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah itu lebih luas dari kemarahanNya.

Allah sedang berbicara denganku..."Jangan marah, Nadira."

Tidakkah aku mahu mendengar? :)

A lesson from just looking at nature...

2010-03-17T19:50:00.003+08:00

I looked out at the sea, as far as my eyes could reach for me and there I see a clear line. A separation of the skies above and the water below. A separation so clear that it is impossible for one to mistaken one from the other, I thought to myself at that moment of another clear separation.

The line separating good & evil.

Two very different things that will never be the same. Two things in which we are given the choice to choose from. The line between them is clear. There should be no confusion. Don't let satan blur that line for you. Don't let satan make you see as though they are the same. Good can never be the same as evil and neither can evil be good. Purify your heart for only with that can you see past all the lies and tricks of satan. Choose with that pure heart. Choose what is good and once chosen, bring your whole self into it.

Why remember the past when you have found something better? Why continue what is bad when you have embraced goodness? Why hold on to a little bit of darkness whan you have seen and felt the warmth of light? Why choose jahiliah when there is Islam? There's no reason for it... right? We have to learn to let go of things that we're better off without.

Firman Allah S.W.T,

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan, dan janganlah kamu ikuti langkah-langkah syaitan. Sungguh ia musuh yang nyata bagimu."

[Al-Baqarah 2:208]

It's either you're in or you're out. You can't be both...maka dengan sebab itu, masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan saudara-saudaraku. Berusahalah untuk membersihkan sisa-sisa jahiliah dalam diri sehingga benar-benar bersih.

"Dan jika syaitan mengganggumu dengan suatu godaan, maka mohonlah perlindungan kepada Allah. Sungguh, Dialah Yang Maha Mendengar, Maha Mengetahui."

[Fussilat 41:36]

Ask to be protected, ask to be strong. Change while you still can :)

Mari bermuhasabah :)

2010-03-16T23:10:00.002+08:00

"Jujurlah terhadap diri sendiri ketika bermuhasabah. Perbetulkan satu persatu kesalahan kita. Jangan nafikan realiti. Setelah disedari kelemahan dan kesilapan kita, maka akui hakikat itu. Ingat, kita perlu maafkan diri kita kerana kita juga perlu mangasihi diri kita sendiri."

I found this while reading one day. It made me think. Have I been honest with myself? If I have, was I too harsh? I still have a long way to go and there is still so much to think about.

Years ago, my best friend and I wrote a letter to ourselves. A letter of forgiveness. Truthfully, I didn’t quite feel it then. How it’s like to forgive yourself. What it means to do so. I think now, I’m beginning to see. Us humans, we can never run from making mistakes. Yes that much is true but we don’t say it as an excuse for us to do wrong but rather so that our hearts don’t get too upset if we do wrong coz that just shows that we’re human and there’s nothing wrong with being just that..right?

A friend told me once, that Allah created us with weaknesses. Not to say that He is weak for that is not His trait. We are created perfectly by Him. What’s weak here is us and that weakness is there so that we ask from Him. So that we depend on Him and Him alone. So that we realise that we have nothing aside from what He wills to give us. How poor we are to all that He has given. That is something we must remember. May He bless that friend of mine.

You know, I’ve been wanting to write for quite some time now but it seems so difficult. It feels like a precious gift has been taken away from me in which I have no control over. It’s sad when I feel as if my words don’t reach you, as though my words you can’t comprehend. Subhanallah...That just shows His Greatness over all don’t you think? That just shows how weak we are without Him. I can’t even control something as simple as writing.

I don’t know about you, but as for me I’m very fond of crying. Crying on my own for Allah. I guess I’ve mentioned that before. Even that simple act of crying is beyond my control and at times when my tears just won’t fall I get so upset and frustrated with myself. I know I shouldn’t be, but you know how emotions can sometimes get to me. Maybe I have been too harsh on myself. Do I think too much? I guess I do sometimes. In moments like this, I’d think of what our beloved Prophet has once said to Abu Bakar in the darkness of the cave they were hiding in. He said, “La takhof wa la tahzan, innallaha maana”. It means, don’t be afraid and don’t be sad for Allah is with us.

I should try to believe in myself more...shouldn’t I?

Sabar duhai hati ^_^

2010-03-12T00:02:00.005+08:00

"ALLAH melapangkan bagimu, supaya engkau tidak selalu berada dalam kesempitan, dan ALLAH menyempitkan bagimu supaya engkau tidak hanyut dalam kelapangan, dan ALLAH melepaskan engkau daripada kedua-duanya, supaya engkau tidak bergantung kepada sesuatu selain daripada ALLAH."

Pesanan ini turut buat diri sendiri agar sentiasa beringat. InsyaAllah hati akan lebih tabah menghadapi apa jua yang ditakdirkan Allah. Sungguh, perlu yakin dan sentiasa bersangka baik kepadaMu ya Rabb.

Who should I follow?

2010-03-08T00:25:00.002+08:00

I'm sure there are times you'd wish you knew exactly what to do to go through life. We tend to look for someone to follow right? Someone whom we see to have succeeded so that hopefully by following that person we would succeed too. Now the question is, who is the one worthy of following?

"Sungguh, telah ada pada (diri) Rasulullah itu, suri teladan yang baik bagimu (iaitu) bagi orang yang mengharap (rahmat) Allah dan (kedatangan) hari kiamat dan yang banyak mengingat Allah."

[Al-Ahzab 33:21]

There you go. An answer from Allah :) He says that Rasulullah S.A.W our beloved prophet is the best example for us to follow. Since this is Allah who's recommending, do you feel it is wise to think that anyone else is a better example? ^_^

You see, why is it that all the great people we know in Islam are great? Are they superhumans of some sort? No. They are great alhamdulillah, because they strive hard to live their life following Rasulullah. They take it seriously when they say Lailahaillallah, muhammadurrasulullah. Serious in the sense that they acknowledge our prophet by following him in every way possible. When you think it over, they are human too. Just like me and you. Betapa adilnya Allah. Contoh yang diberikan tidak mustahil untuk diikuti. So, what's stopping us from being great? What's stopping us from following Rasulullah? We all do have the chance.

It's a matter of you believing in that or not. I'm not saying that we can't inspire to be like other people. Surely those we feel closer to us in which we can relate to would seem more realistic to follow. I'm only pointing out who's best :)

So my brothers and sisters, don't you want to follow 'the chosen one'? ^_^

Salam Alayk :)

2010-03-05T10:58:00.003+08:00

Oh dear it's been such a while since I wrote. I do notice and frankly I feel ever so guilty :( Sorry about that cay? Thing is I'm currently having my trials. Another week to go until I finish. You see when I write posts, I tend to write on and on till I'm at it for hours! And I can't afford to do so these past few weeks. Let's just say this post is to say how I miss writing here and to tell you that I haven't forgotten and neither have I stopped. Many things have happened and insyaAllah, I'll write down the things I wish to share with of all you soon. Surely there will be things to share coz as we live our days it wouldn't be complete without learning something new everyday right? I say, it depends on how you look at things. Whether or not you search for the signs. Whether or not you see those signs staring at you. If you look harder, you'll see that every single thing that happens somehow holds a sign and I'd like to think of it as Allah telling me something everyday...every moment :)

I don't know about you but to me it's sweet. Sweet of Allah to show me signs in this way. Feeling the connection as something strong and ever so close. How He is actually never distant from us and how we are the ones making the distance. Astaghfirullah halazim.

InsyaAllah I shall continue when I have more time to spare.

Till then may Allah bless you and may He bestow upon you the feeling of syukur so that you don't forget Him and stay strong holding on to Him ^_^

Alhamdulillah :)

2010-02-12T22:13:00.002+08:00

Aku bersyukur kerana diberi kesempatan oleh Allah untuk bertemu dgn hambaNya yang tiap kali aku berbicara dengannya, terasa bertambah kecintaanku kepada Allah. Alhamdulillah :) Seorang yang sangat sopan, begitu menjaga tatatertib dan tidak pernah mengucapkan hal yang sia-sia. Semoga aku dapat menjadi sahabat seperti itu kepada orang lain insyaAllah.

I'm refreshed...

2010-02-07T15:48:00.002+08:00

...because tears keep falling down and each and every drop for Allah :)

It’s always wonderful to have someone talk to you about Allah. You know what a friend said to me yesterday? “One day even if we lose everything dear to us, know that we still have Allah because our bond with Him is just too strong.” And what is this bond? Our Aqidah. Something that ties us. Something so strong it just can’t break...so long as WE don’t break it because He won’t. He won’t leave. It’s always us that move away.

Have you ever really given it a thought the fact that Allah is so near and so close to us? Have you ever been in love and honestly truly feel that way towards Allah till nothing else can ever be as or more important as Him? It’s a different feeling. A feeling I can’t describe with mere words but what I know is there’s this serenity in you somehow. This feeling in your heart like no other.
I’m just a normal person like you and I don’t feel worthy of saying that I do love Allah will all my heart because He is just so Great and at times I’m so ashamed for being weak and for claiming to love Him when I still do wrong but despite that, I’ll tell you this...I do know that honestly...

I am in love...and I want to stay in love with the One that deserves it most.

I’m learning to realise His presence. To always hope and depend on Him instead of other people. I’m trying to understand the way He loves me, the way He loves us all. “Allah itu terlalu penyayang.” Yes, indeed that’s true.

I wonder if you get what I’m saying. Especially now that I feel my words are all over the place but for one thing I strongly believe in this...”Hanya hati mampu berbicara dengan hati.” (Only a heart can touch another) and maybe your heart can understand mine.

Bottom line is I want to say that, I want to be in love with Allah and because of this love I have for Him, I want you to be in love with Him too. I don’t know how things are going to turn out. I just hope and pray that He holds my heart and gives me strength.

A friend told me something she’d do to comfort herself when she’s scared. She’d take her finger and feel her pulse at her neck. You know why? Because Allah, is nearer to us than that pulse we feel...and doing that reminds her she need not be afraid.

Beautiful isn’t it? How Allah loves us.

My brothers & sisters, strengthen that bond and never let go.

Hari ini...

2010-02-05T21:46:00.002+08:00

...aku begitu rindu pada Kaabah~

Peringatan untukku pagi ini :)

2010-01-25T08:25:00.001+08:00

"Ketika orang lain bergantung kepada dunia, gantunglah dirimu pada tali Allah. Ketika orang lain merasa gembira dengan dunia, jadikanlah dirimu gembira kerana Allah. Ketika orang lain merasa bahagia kerana kekasih mereka, jadikanlah dirimu merasa bahagia dengan Allah, dan ketika orang pergi menghadap raja & pembesar untuk mengais harta & mencintai mereka, jadikanlah dirimu betul-betul mencintai Allah."

[Ibnul Qayyum]

InsyaAllah, akan ku ingat kata-kata ini :)