Secret deeds or Secret sins

If you had to keep a secret, which one would you pick? Which one would you choose to do?

Personally, I like to keep to myself. A loner in a lot of senses I'd say ^_^ Those who know me wouldn't find it weird to see me walking on my own. Despite that, I do enjoy company. Company of those dear to me. Company of people I know and of people I've just met. It brings me joy and yes, it puts a smile on my face. You know one beautiful blessing that I've realised from Allah? A beautiful gift that makes me feel so warm inside. It's the fact that when one tries to hold out his or her hand to another in friendship for the sake of Allah, that bond feels like no other. The bond that can form in a split second making you feel like you've known each other for so long and filled with so much love that you call each other brothers and sisters even without any blood ties holding you together. Even with all the differences that would have set you apart.

And it makes me think back, do I really want to be alone?

Time and time again I ask myself that question over and over. Sometimes rebelliously I'd say yes! I do want to be alone but if I were to ask myself honestly..deep down, for the sake of Allah the answer is no. I don't. The people around me are such special people created by Allah and to them there are rights that I must give. These people..all of you really, help me know my Creator, Allah. And for that I will be forever grateful. And it is from you that I see the truth that I've so long denied.

And that truth is, it is not safe to be alone no matter how strong you are. No matter how well you think you've gotten everything in control. Whatever it is, you need others.

When do you think a person is most vulnerable? I think it is when you feel cut off from everyone else. When you're alone with no one by your side. Why? "Because if it's just you alone, you're not much of a threat." Can you imagine satan saying that?

Well it's true and I am really fearful to think of the ways we torture ourselves. Torture our souls with our secret sins. Sins we hide from others. Ones we do alone. Ones that we do with the awful thought that no one knows what we're doing. That's where we're wrong. Those secret sins are never really secret. Nothing ever stays a secret because Allah knows all...and He is with you, when you do it. Astaghfirullah halazim.

" Orang yang paling bakhil adalah orang yang paling bakhil kepada dirinya sendiri dalam memberi kebahagiaan, dan orang yang paling zalim adalah orang yang menzalimi diri sendiri dengan berbuat maksiat kepada Allah S.W.T. kerana orang yang berbuat maksiat bererti dia telah menghancurkan dirinya sendiri."

-Muhammad Ar-Rasyid-

Astaghfirullah halazim. May we be protected by Allah from ourselves. How different secret deeds are from secret sins. A deed you keep secret is to protect your heart and if it were me, kept secret for I want it to be my special deed with Allah. My special secret with the One I love. But a sin..a sin kept secret kills that heart and brings it to darkness.

It's not about people knowing what you do, it's about Allah. So long as you know He knows, then you'll know which to choose. My dear self, and to all my brothers and sisters...please remember this.