He saved me.

I haven't written, I know. I can't begin to say why exactly this is so. Couldn't find words to tell you but rest assured I know Allah knows what's in my heart. Knowing that keeps me strong all the time. Right now, like most of us...I feel sad. Sad that Ramadhan is leaving soon. It passes by so quickly. Too quickly...but that's only what we feel. Time goes on at it's pace like always. Waiting for nobody, always moving forward.

Alhamdulillah...Allah has bestowed upon me so much...upon us all really. Thinking about it all can get you drowned in thought. Just thinking about what He has given us. Right now I'm in the comfort of my home, sitting here typing these words. Alhamdulillah...

I think many would have thought that I'd be filing this blog with many posts especially considering recent events..haha..but I guess once again the pause. It's alright, Allah has His reasons for everything. Let me catch up on some things then. My A-level results have been out for quite sometime. Honestly, it wasn't awesome. I learned my lesson there. I got ABB which is 13 points and alhamdulillah that's enough for me to pass the qualification in order to fly to Dublin. InsyaAllah my flight will be on the 22nd of September :) Off I go to pursue medicine in Royal College of Surgeons Ireland insyaAllah.

"Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Dia medapat (pahala) dari (kebajikan) yang dikerjakannya dan dia mendapat (siksa) dari (kejahatan) yang diperbuatnya. (Mereka berdoa) "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau melakukan kesalahan. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebani kami dengan beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tidak sanggup kami memikulnya. Maafkanlah kami, ampunilah kami, dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah pelindung kami, maka tolonglah kami menghadapi orang-orang kafir."

[Al-Baqarah 2:286]

When I checked my results, I remembered this verse. This has always been a special verse to me. It struck me how He never breaks His word and I felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed because, I know deep down I didn't do good enough for Allah. Not that I'm not thankful. You have no idea how thankful I am. In spite of that, I can't lie to myself and say that I have done my best that time. It all comes down to me doing what He wills me to do and in the end He just handed me all that He wants to. He still gave me the opportunity I would've thought I didn't deserve.

He saved me...again. Something He never stops doing.

Allahu Allah...such mercy He's given me. Alhamdulillah ya Rabbal 'alamin. Alhamdulillah.

You know, sometimes we regret things but now I want to look at it differently. We all believe that Allah has fated everything that has happened, is happening and will happen. I'm teaching myself to really believe that. Like, there are many things I wish to share here but sometimes it just doesn't get written yet. Why? Perhaps because it's not time yet. And there was this one time I did some sharing with my sisters in TKC and it turns out I didn't get to say all things that I wanted to say but I believe that the things I did say, is what Allah wants them to hear. When I think that way I feel at peace and I have no regrets because I know He has planned it all perfectly and I need not worry.

Saying that though, doesn't mean we should not plan or make effort to do things. Being a muslim means we must always do our best. Always because our goal isn't just for us but for Allah, our deen and our ummah. We should strive to be the best there is in our field of study, our field of work, our ways (akhlak)...everything. We must strive for it because we have a duty to fulfill.

Then we shall feel at peace when we succeed for Him and we won't have any regrets if things don't work out the way we expect.

Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kepada kami keikhlasan, istiqamah, kemudahan dan kekuatan untuk beribadah kepadaMu kerana sesungguhnya tiap sesuatu itu datang dariMu. Ampunilah, rahmatilah dan masukkanlah kami ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang beruntung ya Allah.