Reality.

Sometimes it feels like everything is crushing down and you want to understand and be truthful to yourself. What if truth is something you can't bear? What if you're a coward pretending to have courage? What if the one you hurt...is yourself?

I guess the past weeks haven't been so light on me but that was then. This is me now taking charge and wanting to break free from this feeling insyaAllah. The world around me is moving so fast and I can't afford to stay put here. Although sometimes in order to see things clearly, one has to stay still to allow facts to sink in. Stay still to think and understand. But after that what one should do is to get up and take action and we need strength for that. Strength that only Allah alone can give and that we must ask for in order to get it.

I apologize for not writing. Truth is as I have been saying so many times before there are so many things I wish to share that have yet to be posted. But that's okay, we'll take it a step at a time :) I don't regret the days that have gone by without updates here. I've learnt not to regret on what has passed. Not saying that it's easy but just to strengthen our belief when we say we trust that whatever Allah has destined is what's best. Yes, I believe that and it's time that we act out what we believe in.

Have you ever wondered why you act so foolishly against your own principles? I do think of that and the answer I come up with is because I let my guard down and let my nafs take over. And we all know that nothing good ever comes when your nafs is what's driving you. Astaghfirullah. I take it as a lesson from Allah. The fact that whatever will I have is from Him and Him alone and that I deserve no credit. Also the fact that one can never be too proud of his or her principles because the only One to help you abide to it is Allah, not yourself.

It's a shame and I do feel ashamed but there is no use in fretting about it now. What I can do is to be stronger than I was before. So long as Allah knows, it matters less what other people think. I trust if I mend things with Him, He'll take care of it better than I ever could. I wonder if any of this makes sense to you. Haha...perhaps not :P But that's okay, I felt I had to write this anyway. Let it be a start so that I write more soon ^_^

Do remember that Allah controls everything and everything happens at His will whether you like it or not. Stop dreaming that you can oppose that coz the reality is you can't. Submit to Him, devote yourself to Him in every way you can. InsyaAllah, may the reality of your life then be worth while~