I've decided :)

Don't make me change my mind okay? :) After all the decision is mine to make. I'm smiling now, even when this week hasn't been that pretty for many but yes here I am smiling. I admit I was wrong to feel cold towards accusors coz the thing is I brought it to myself. The fault is mine and so I'm sorry for my mistake.

I take this as another direct lesson from Allah and so it is my duty to have learnt something from it otherwise it'd be a waste. Don't worry coz I did learn and here are somethings I'd like to say to a few people.

1. To Arine my dear friend, thanks for calling me yesterday :) I'm glad that even if we're no longer in tkc we maintain a great friendship somehow. Wish you were here though. :P After all, no one has ever gotten as close as you when it comes to understanding me and I mean human in this case of course. What you wrote in our blog is indeed right. I needed to be reminded :P thanks.

2. To Mira yang comel :P You've made me feel so much better today. I know I can always count on you :) thanks a lot.

3. To a person perhaps on the verge of bursting with anger. I'm sorry I caused that anger to strike and to have made you feel the way you feel now. I was ignorant to it but knowing doesn't really help since I don't know what'll make you feel better. Hopefully Allah will help coz He knows best.

4. To an unexpected commentor. Your comments never fail to make me laugh :D

5. And lastly to you although very unlikely for you to read this, I just wanna say don't tell me. You know what I mean and I think we both agree it's for the best. Whatever it is you'd like to say, perhaps it's best to keep. But then again, if you must I do have an answer for you.

I'm moving out from this figureless conflict. Not running away but leaving after realising my mistake. May we all improve and get ourselves nearer to what's most important - Allah. The time now is indeed not right and so wait and be patient. Because we have done wrong, do not feel too bad about it, just get back on the right track.

"Sungguh, orang-orang munafik itu (ditempatkan) pada tingkatan paling bawah dari neraka. Dan kamu tidak akan dapat seorang penolong pun bagi mereka, kecuali orang-orang yang bertaubat dan memperbaiki diri dan berpegang teguh pada (agama) Allah dan dengan tulus ikhlas (menjalankan) agama mereka kerana Allah. Maka mereka itu bersama-sama orang -orang yang beriman dan kelak Allah akan memberikan pahala yang besar kepada orang-orang yang beriman."

[An-Nisa' 4:145&146]

I'm Lucky ^_^

Ever said that to yourself and mean it? Well you should :)

Last night I talked to and old friend of mine. It's been a while since we talked and how could that be since there are just so many means of communication? Our fault then. Haha...
Long chats with old friends are refreshing. At that moment I noticed that despite everything I'm not satisfied with, I'm lucky.

In this context, I'm lucky to have her has my friend.

Alhamdulillah :) Allah is Great. You know I have been thinking so much lately. It's not that I ever stop thinking it's just that thoughts are getting to me and it feels like I'm learning so much that I feel so happy. And how did this happen? Because of the misfortune I recieved. The misfortune I got so devastated over. Now isn't that another reason for me to feel that I'm lucky? :P

By the way, don't mistaken the word 'lucky' here. There really is no question about luck coz what happens to us is not based on our luck but based on what Allah has written for us. When I say lucky it's just an expression of 'syukur'. If anybody else has a word to replace saying 'I'm lucky' do tell me. We must stop saying wrong things right? :) kalau BM senang la, 'Saya bersyukur'... haa tu memang dah betul.

For those who don't know the meaning of my name, it means 'rare'. Because of that I've somehow always felt special. :) It's like I'm different from other people. But that's just the meaning of my name. I don't feel special and so I wish to be. Sometimes I fret about things that happen to me. I don't need to state out what but the questions I ask myself later is

'Why must this happen to me?'

'Why is it nobody else is like this?'

Now look and think carefully, what does that show? The truth is I never realised that my wish did come true. [I guess that's why people say becareful what you wish for. haha...] Because I am different, because I am special, that's why things (including misfortune) happen to me. The things I feel are so difficult to handle and seem to be unheard of to others are given to me by Allah because I am special. So why should I be anybody else? I'm fine just the way Allah has created me. And for that I am lucky.

Same goes to you. You are special. It takes thinking to really realise that, so think!

Thinking makes you realise so much. Doesn't that make you love Allah? :)

p/s: Blogging requires thinking and suddenly I think I have found the answer to my own question. :P I should say I'm thankful! Yes that's it but syukur sounds the best always. :)