Dublin :)

Salam alayk everyone.

Alhamdulillah, I've arrived safely in Dublin and I'm currently amongst such wonderful sisters :) Everywhere we go, there are sisters to offer us food! Haha...so don't worry mama & abah cay? :) Rather than feeling like I'm someplace new, it feels like I've just returned to those who I've known forever and insyaAllah that will come true.

Forgive the late update. Haven't really settled down properly here. Staying at my senior's house for now. Waiting for my own which will take a while but no worries, everything has its own reasons and well what we can do is to make the best of it! :D

Went to the park the other day... loved it ^_^ It's nice to walk in slightly chilly weather. You're not tired and you get to breathe fresh air. Here that is. huhu...Walking on the streets reminded me of London. Those times my family and I would walk to every place we wanted to go coz we didn't have a car. It was nice but well, this time being in europe without my family I do feel the difference. (okay2..I miss my family..hee ^_^)

Class started already :) and yes it's very exciting alhamdulillah. I'm still trying to get the hang of walking to RCSI and also walking around in the building itself. Got lost a couple of times in the building but I'm happy to report that I found my way back home on my own! hehe...

So, till I write some more insyaAllah. ^_^

Salam 'Aidilfitri ^_^

Salam alayk my brothers & sisters :) Today before I go off to Taiping, here I'd like to wish 'Eid mubarak' to mama & abah, my family, all those who know me and the whole ummah!

Not because it's tradition but because it truly is a joyful day and we should always pray the best for each other :) Sincerely I'd like to ask for forgiveness from all of you. I made mistakes, we all do and Allah's forgiveness is what we hope for. May He grant that to us. And knowing how we hope for forgiveness from Allah, we should know how it feels for those who hope for forgiveness from us. So, do grant it :) may the bond in our hearts stay strong and become stronger. InsyaAllah.

Semoga amalan diterima olehNya dan kita semua mendapat redhaNya..

Aamin~

We don't know how far the ripples of our decisions go.

And perhaps that's the reason we sometimes don't put into deep thought what we do before doing it. We don't realise that we actually give effect. Take a stone, a pebble for instance and toss it into the lake. I used to love doing this :) and see how the ripples spread. Sometimes it feels as if those ripples on the water could go on and on. And I'd wonder how far they can go. Of course I was little that time. Didn't learn about waves, damping and that it all would stop eventually. No matter, I feel it is always exciting to view the world through a child's eyes for we were once children too :)

So, what exactly is my point? Haha...well, I wish to thank those whose actions, words, decisions...have spread to me like ripples of water. Touching my heart personally and many others. Unlike ripples, the actions, words and consequences to decisions people make may spread through the ages and keep going, transcending whatever boundaries that would've stopped it. From the humblest of actions coming from a friend, a neighbour, a brother to magnificent ones from scholars, dear companions and of course our beloved Rasulullah~

Though perhaps unknowingly, many have touched this heart of mine and willed it to wanting more. Taught it many things it wouldn't have known or felt. Taught it love...taught it how to love for the sake of Allah. In the end when you go to the root of everything, they are ripples from Him Himself :) How fortunate to be chosen to spread His word. To be chosen to be the ones that give effect.

My dear brothers & sisters, He chose us. ^_^

Over all that He's created, we are chosen to spread the word, to be His caliphs. With that such a great responsibility and I feel ashamed thinking of how far we are from fulfilling our duties. From giving the right effect.

And for that I must learn. Learn from those ahead of me in this and I must run to catch up. Hold out my hand and reach hoping for it to be taken. Not to forget to take when someone else reaches out theirs. So here I say, thank you. May Allah bless you many, many times over for He is the best at that~

"Tidak mungkin bagi seseorang yang telah diberi kitab oleh Allah, serta hikmah dan kenabian, kemudian dia berkata kepada manusia, "Jadilah kamu penyembahku, bukan penyembah Allah," tetapi (dia berkata), "Jadilah kamu pengabdi-pengabdi Allah, kerana kamu mengajarkan kitab dan kerana kamu mempelajarinya!"

[Ali 'Imran 3:79]

Don't you want to give the right effect? ^_^

A new look ^_^

Well it's about time I changed the background of this blog right? haha..and you know what I think? I think it looks great :) New and refreshing! wee~

Something you might not know about me is that I love leaves. Leaves like the ones you see here. It makes me feel serene and who wouldn't feel that way when looking at green? Right? Perhaps it's a bond I have with nature... haha :P I do have a problem with my alma matter being rather barren now. No more pine trees and tall beautiful casuarinas :( It's all tarred roads and heat.

Oh well, what's done is done. Alhamdulillah I had the opportunity to be in school when the trees weren't chopped off yet and I'm very thankful that in Taiping (my kampung) the trees are still there :) Those old trees. I wonder how old they are. I'll be going back to my grandparent's house on wednesday morning insyaAllah. Might get a chance to drive. (I just got my license! ^_^) huhu... May we safely go and return. I might not be celebrating raya at my kampung next year. Looking forward to this one somehow despite the sadness of this blessed month leaving.

No matter where you'll be spending your raya, I hope you'd be filled with joy and happiness. May we all attain His forgiveness~
Aamin...

He saved me.

I haven't written, I know. I can't begin to say why exactly this is so. Couldn't find words to tell you but rest assured I know Allah knows what's in my heart. Knowing that keeps me strong all the time. Right now, like most of us...I feel sad. Sad that Ramadhan is leaving soon. It passes by so quickly. Too quickly...but that's only what we feel. Time goes on at it's pace like always. Waiting for nobody, always moving forward.

Alhamdulillah...Allah has bestowed upon me so much...upon us all really. Thinking about it all can get you drowned in thought. Just thinking about what He has given us. Right now I'm in the comfort of my home, sitting here typing these words. Alhamdulillah...

I think many would have thought that I'd be filing this blog with many posts especially considering recent events..haha..but I guess once again the pause. It's alright, Allah has His reasons for everything. Let me catch up on some things then. My A-level results have been out for quite sometime. Honestly, it wasn't awesome. I learned my lesson there. I got ABB which is 13 points and alhamdulillah that's enough for me to pass the qualification in order to fly to Dublin. InsyaAllah my flight will be on the 22nd of September :) Off I go to pursue medicine in Royal College of Surgeons Ireland insyaAllah.

"Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Dia medapat (pahala) dari (kebajikan) yang dikerjakannya dan dia mendapat (siksa) dari (kejahatan) yang diperbuatnya. (Mereka berdoa) "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau melakukan kesalahan. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebani kami dengan beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tidak sanggup kami memikulnya. Maafkanlah kami, ampunilah kami, dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah pelindung kami, maka tolonglah kami menghadapi orang-orang kafir."

[Al-Baqarah 2:286]

When I checked my results, I remembered this verse. This has always been a special verse to me. It struck me how He never breaks His word and I felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed because, I know deep down I didn't do good enough for Allah. Not that I'm not thankful. You have no idea how thankful I am. In spite of that, I can't lie to myself and say that I have done my best that time. It all comes down to me doing what He wills me to do and in the end He just handed me all that He wants to. He still gave me the opportunity I would've thought I didn't deserve.

He saved me...again. Something He never stops doing.

Allahu Allah...such mercy He's given me. Alhamdulillah ya Rabbal 'alamin. Alhamdulillah.

You know, sometimes we regret things but now I want to look at it differently. We all believe that Allah has fated everything that has happened, is happening and will happen. I'm teaching myself to really believe that. Like, there are many things I wish to share here but sometimes it just doesn't get written yet. Why? Perhaps because it's not time yet. And there was this one time I did some sharing with my sisters in TKC and it turns out I didn't get to say all things that I wanted to say but I believe that the things I did say, is what Allah wants them to hear. When I think that way I feel at peace and I have no regrets because I know He has planned it all perfectly and I need not worry.

Saying that though, doesn't mean we should not plan or make effort to do things. Being a muslim means we must always do our best. Always because our goal isn't just for us but for Allah, our deen and our ummah. We should strive to be the best there is in our field of study, our field of work, our ways (akhlak)...everything. We must strive for it because we have a duty to fulfill.

Then we shall feel at peace when we succeed for Him and we won't have any regrets if things don't work out the way we expect.

Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kepada kami keikhlasan, istiqamah, kemudahan dan kekuatan untuk beribadah kepadaMu kerana sesungguhnya tiap sesuatu itu datang dariMu. Ampunilah, rahmatilah dan masukkanlah kami ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang beruntung ya Allah.

2 letters from fathers to their daughters

Salam alayk :)

So today I'd just like to share with you letters written by fathers to their daughters. I wonder if you can identify where I got them :P So simple, yet I find such meaning in them, such wisdom. And yes, the part of me that always loves letters would of course love these :)

1st letter~

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be travelling a road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

How inspiring these words are. I don't know about you but I'm quite sure that we all face fears in our lives. You'd find people we seek advice in, telling us to have courage and I believe the above is such a wonderful way in looking at courage. Saying that it is not the absence of fear. One with courage has fear but chooses to acknowledge the fact that what he or she must do has consequences that are more important than that fear that may have held them back. :) We might tell ourselves that we know we can't do something without trying. Then we won't know who we could have been if we tried. How fortunate it is to have a little courage to allow yourself to make that journey and find out. Right? :) But of course, whatever actions you choose to take, you must always have in mind that it's along the lines of our deen.

2nd letter~

"For what it's worth, it's never too late or in my case too early to be whoever you want to be. It has no time limit. Stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You have no rules to these things. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you have never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you are proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

What do you think of this one? ^_^ One thing I see is hope. That it's never too late for change. Never too late to turn around and start anew and I believe that this is true. True so long as you have not reached death. So long as the world has not yet perished. Though only Allah knows for sure how long you still have hope. But being humans that have no idea of the time duration, we can always try. I like the way he hopes his daughter would see things that surprise her and to feel things that are of a novelty to her. Not to forget, to find people with different perspectives too. All the essence of how Allah makes life interesting as he creates all with such variety.

How important it truly is for a parent to nurture the souls of their children correctly. For a husband to his wife...all so very important. The duty of a man ^_^ surely along with the touch of a woman for both are created by Allah with their differences to complement each other.

Do listen to this! ^_^

Salam alayk my brothers and sisters :)

Early this year I was browsing the internet, watching videos of talks by muslim scholars till one day I found this american radio station. Meccaone~

click the photo to visit the website

It provides recordings of various discussions held at the station which is really very interesting and I highly recommend you to go check it out! I personally think it helps you to widen your scope of thinking as you'll get to listen to talks on various topics presented from all sorts of people, mostly muslim scholars. All those who love Allah, insyaAllah :) You might find things you've never even thought of before for instance how a person presents Islam through his photography, the different ways people do dakwah, how other muslims of different races from us improve themselves and continue to spread the word. It's just amazing. Some recordings come also in videos you can watch.

I don't know why I haven't thought of posting this up before to share with all of you. Shame on me :( Truth is I have been very excited about it when I found out. And one more thing, the download is free! Perhaps the down side of it is that you need to download iTunes first if you don't already have it but that's free too so, not really a problem right? :P

I do hope, you'd find some good in it ^_^ InsyaAllah~ Please go check it out!

Secret deeds or Secret sins

If you had to keep a secret, which one would you pick? Which one would you choose to do?

Personally, I like to keep to myself. A loner in a lot of senses I'd say ^_^ Those who know me wouldn't find it weird to see me walking on my own. Despite that, I do enjoy company. Company of those dear to me. Company of people I know and of people I've just met. It brings me joy and yes, it puts a smile on my face. You know one beautiful blessing that I've realised from Allah? A beautiful gift that makes me feel so warm inside. It's the fact that when one tries to hold out his or her hand to another in friendship for the sake of Allah, that bond feels like no other. The bond that can form in a split second making you feel like you've known each other for so long and filled with so much love that you call each other brothers and sisters even without any blood ties holding you together. Even with all the differences that would have set you apart.

And it makes me think back, do I really want to be alone?

Time and time again I ask myself that question over and over. Sometimes rebelliously I'd say yes! I do want to be alone but if I were to ask myself honestly..deep down, for the sake of Allah the answer is no. I don't. The people around me are such special people created by Allah and to them there are rights that I must give. These people..all of you really, help me know my Creator, Allah. And for that I will be forever grateful. And it is from you that I see the truth that I've so long denied.

And that truth is, it is not safe to be alone no matter how strong you are. No matter how well you think you've gotten everything in control. Whatever it is, you need others.

When do you think a person is most vulnerable? I think it is when you feel cut off from everyone else. When you're alone with no one by your side. Why? "Because if it's just you alone, you're not much of a threat." Can you imagine satan saying that?

Well it's true and I am really fearful to think of the ways we torture ourselves. Torture our souls with our secret sins. Sins we hide from others. Ones we do alone. Ones that we do with the awful thought that no one knows what we're doing. That's where we're wrong. Those secret sins are never really secret. Nothing ever stays a secret because Allah knows all...and He is with you, when you do it. Astaghfirullah halazim.

" Orang yang paling bakhil adalah orang yang paling bakhil kepada dirinya sendiri dalam memberi kebahagiaan, dan orang yang paling zalim adalah orang yang menzalimi diri sendiri dengan berbuat maksiat kepada Allah S.W.T. kerana orang yang berbuat maksiat bererti dia telah menghancurkan dirinya sendiri."

-Muhammad Ar-Rasyid-

Astaghfirullah halazim. May we be protected by Allah from ourselves. How different secret deeds are from secret sins. A deed you keep secret is to protect your heart and if it were me, kept secret for I want it to be my special deed with Allah. My special secret with the One I love. But a sin..a sin kept secret kills that heart and brings it to darkness.

It's not about people knowing what you do, it's about Allah. So long as you know He knows, then you'll know which to choose. My dear self, and to all my brothers and sisters...please remember this.

Of the little things

Okay, I know I'm still quite silent here so here I go starting again. Hoping to get the momentum running ^_^

You see, it's coz my laptop doesn't seem to connect with the internet and the only way for me to get online is through mama's laptop. Oh well, let's see where my fingers take me this time. Last week has been an interesting one. I had Arine over at my house till thursday morning and despite it being my home we're in, her presence made it different. It's as if I'm going on an adventure in my own house :)

Believe it or not for the many years, this is her 2nd visit. Only her 2nd! I can't even remember how many times I've visited her house (I'd say more than my fingers could count!) but yes, I guess living on an island is hard to reach :P At last on sunday evening, she made it.

Sure we do many things together but this time there was a change. What was that? :P For the first time, we both cooked together! Yes, we did! On the 1st of Ramadhan, Arine and I cooked dinner. Mama wasn't expecting it but somehow she did put her trust on us to prepare food that night. That really felt like an achievement to me. Wasn't really thinking about it till Arine pointed out, 'Hey, it's great that your mum trusts us to do this.' I was like, 'yeah :)'.

What did we prepare?

Sup ikan, ayam masak merah and sayur. It tasted great! Really! And I think Arine would be the one to know how happy I was. haha...Well, it isn't my first time cooking or anything it's just that cooking never fails to give me a sense of satisfaction when it's finished. :) And even better is when I see my family finish the food. Childish of me? So be it. haha... I think it's important for us to find things we enjoy doing and to always have that excitement when doing it.

Last night I prepared one of my favourite dishes, tomyam! I used to remember when I was a child, I'd beg mama to cook it everyday. She wouldn't of course coz we can't eat the same thing every single day. haha... Now alhamdulillah, I can prepare it myself ^_^ I'm sorry you didn't get to taste my tomyam Arine. That just means you should come visit me often :P

There's nothing wrong in finding joy in little things in life. Things like meeting a friend, just seeing your sister smile, your parents smile, getting to cook a nice dish, seeing a little flower bloom after pushing it's way through the snow saying 'spring is here!' or even just listening to nature itself. It may strike people as being naive but why should that matter if it gives you happiness? Right? :)

p/s: gosh, no pictures of the dishes we cooked! haha... nevermind :P

A piece of advice for us all insyaAllah :)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t my dear brothers & sisters :)

Alhamdulillah...today, I finally get to write after so long. Alhamdulillah...for I'm still alive this very moment to write this post and given the opportunity by Allah to relay the message of Islam.

From Abu Ruqaiyah, Tamim bin Aus al-Dhari r.a, the Prophet p.b.u.h said that,
"Ad-deenu nasihah" (The deen [Islam] is an advice)

-Riwayat Muslim-

The hadith above is the 7th hadith of the 40 hadiths of Imam Nawawi.

Reading that hadith, it dawned to me on how true it is. The truth that Islam itself is advice. Guidance given to us on this journey of life. I have people telling me their problems and when they do, to them it seems like there is no way out of it. It's like giving up. I too feel that way sometimes but I try not to stop there. Put more thought in it and search for the 'hikmah' beyond what has happened. Search for it. Don't just stop there.

Honestly, if you tell me anything that's bothering you and you ask my opinion on what to do, I can only think of one answer. Not because that's the last resort. Not because I'm out of ideas. Not because I'm lazy to think and I have nothing good to say...but because that one answer is the truth. Because that one answer IS the solution which is, turn to Allah. Turn to Islam. That's the only thing that can calm our hearts regardless of whatever that has happened to us. And that's where we get the best advice.

I always thought that the answer is clear but I know now that to some people it's not. It's okay, I'm telling you then :) The fact that your heart feels uneasy and it's as if life just passes by you without you feeling content deep down in your heart even after accomplishing so much in the eyes of people. Why is that? It's because that heart is far from remembering Allah. Far from being in love with Allah. Far from fulfilling ones true destiny and trapped in darkness. Ones heart which is blinded by satan.

Astaghfirullah halazim...

How scary it is to have a blind heart rather than unable to see with your eyes. Open your heart. Ask Allah to open your heart. Use it to see..my brothers and sisters. Use your heart to see! Coz the truth has always been there...right in front of your faces. Truth is..you already know what to do. You already know where to go to for help and that is to Allah.

I learnt today that when a calamity hits, patience that Allah wants is at that point. That's the point that Allah does not want you to lose control. It's not when it's all over, you've lost control and probably did something reckless (naudzhubillah) and suddenly you say, "Owh.. I should be patient." MasyaAllah it's difficult isn't it? Yes it is! I'm not saying it isn't coz it is! But as I've mentioned before, that's why the reward is so great. SO GREAT because it is SO HARD to do. Supressing the nafs for the sake of Allah S.W.T...that is mujahadah.

InsyaAllah, may Allah give us the strength to hold Him tightly in our hearts. The strength to supress our nafs for His sake...It's not for anybody else my brothers and sisters it's for Allah.
Allah..the true love to us all~