Salam alayk :)
There's no one really to blame for that. At least no one in particular. We live in a diseased world and I guess a truth that I didn't really wanna think of and believe is that in some ways, I've been deceived too. The way we think, give opinions...in the slightest of ways even may be off track without us realising because we were brought up in conditions exposing us to a certain frame of mind that seems to be the way we should think when in fact it is not.
Such subtle ways are we all fooled and see how it's worked. Of course it's working, we're all part of a long devised plan. One so elaborate and long term with people who work extremely hard behind them. I'm beginning to see now that's why it is so difficult for us to resist our old ways. To completely get rid of things we grew up with, what our parents grew up with too.
And one of the most powerful things clinging us on to what we should leave...are memories. Memories that are mostly good ones to us. Familiar happy feelings and how unfortunate it is for those memories to be so intertwined with jahiliyyah that we should want to leave. It's sad, but true...and I find myself in a confusing state when I'm back with the ones I love. I feel torn apart and helpless mostly but there's also a comfort that I honestly don't want to leave. Something I'm sure many others have felt too. The difficulty in breaking free.
There's so much more for me to learn...for us to learn. May Allah give us strength and patience in doing that and may He choose us to prevail. Aamiin~