Friday, December 31, 2010
And what I love most is to see how you've grown, how we've grown to be where we are meant to be coz that's what's best for us.
I envy you at times coz you don't know how special you are :) You don't know how you could touch my heart anytime without even trying. May you find what you are looking for and be steadfast. Don't put restrictions to yourself saying you can't do this and that coz truth is you can and I want to believe that I too can do the same.
I miss you and I hope you know that.
Salam alayk~ ^_^
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Listening to this, I felt that. I calmed down. And why wouldn't I after hearing the beautiful names of Allah.
Stop...and think. Sometimes when you keep running forward you get carried away and your niat gets diverted. Although very slightly it still is off track and you can't allow that to happen. You are fooled by small accomplishments. You dwell on them too much when there is so much more to be attained. Forgive me Ya Allah. All this is You...All praise is to You. Protect me from thinking it is me. Protect me ya Allah.
Calmness...how I wish for it. The middle way...moderation. Yes, that's the way to go with things. So that I don't get too happy or too upset. I want to be so in love with you ya Allah but I have to stop merely saying that. There has to be proof! Where is it? Astaghfirullah :'(
All that I say, all that I write...I will one day be judged upon all that. Be judged! Give me strength to do more than what I say. To perform better than what I advise. To stop merely saying and not doing.
Forgive me ya Allah :'( Save me.
I recall a dua made by an ulama once before. He said, 'Oh Allah, don't punish me for I am admitting what I have done. People think I'm a good person but I'm the most evil if they knew.'
An ulama said that! Even Rasulullah begs for forgiveness...masyaAllah...
Allah...Don't make me forget this is all You...
Please...forgive me...forgive my heart.
I could only smile witnessing all this as I too join the crowd waiting. Waiting for my dear friend, my sister to walk out that door.
Then I thought, masyaAllah, Allah is Great. Great to have given us all the chance to experience such feelings. To experience love and you know what? No matter how sweet that love is, it is nothing compared to what He has in store for us. Compared to what He has saved for us in the hereafter.
Doesn't it make you curious? Make you feel intrigued to know what else is out of this 'overrated dunya'? Yes it is overrated and you should know that. You should feel that.
A sister asked me once, 'What is home to you?'. I recalled this phrase upon hearing that question. 'Home is where the heart is.' Yeah. That's true. It is where the heart is and how I'd like to describe it, home is where you feel you belong. A place where you don't feel out of place. A place where your heart will feel nothing but calmness...
Dunya...is not my home.
Therefore dunya cannot be where my heart is, cannot be where I belong.
My heart has to be with Allah! It has to be...and so must yours. It can't stay here.
No plane can bring your heart to where it should go. And guess what, you don't need one...coz all you need is you. You need to bring your heart home. No one else can do it for you. Ask for Allah's guidance and move! Don't stay here. Don't depend on anyone other than Him. Bring yourself home.
Allah is waiting for you.
What are you waiting for?
Sunday, December 19, 2010
You know when I think back, I feel silly and yeah...I should feel that way coz I was. Why? Well I was being childish I suppose. A good way of phrasing it I'd say. Why? Coz I was offended when I shouldn't be. When I could've been more patient with things.
What was I not patient with? Difference.
'Dan taatilah Allah & RasulNya dan janganlah kamu berselisih, yang menyebabkan kamu menjadi gentar dan kekuatanmu hilang dan bersabarlah. Sungguh, Allah beserta orang-orang sabar.'
Reading this verse, I suddenly remembered what Umar said when Abu Bakar tried to calm him down after our beloved prophet passed away. Abu Bakar told him a verse in the Quran that brought him back to reality with an advice that even touched my own heart. The fact that if you worship Rasulullah, he is only human and would one day pass away and return to Allah and the fact that if you worship Allah He forever lives. Just because Rasulullah has died, would you go back to how you were before being blessed with light?
What did Umar feel? He felt as though he had never heard that verse before. Never memorised it. Never felt it in his heart when he very well did know that verse. It slipped away that split second due to immense grief and it took Abu Bakar...his brother to remind him and bring him back.
Astaghfirullah...that's how I feel. I feel as though I've never read that verse above [Al-Anfal 8:46]. As though I never came across it coz I forgot about it and allowed myself to get offended. I forgot about it till the pages of the Quran that slipped through my fingers brought me to this verse and brought me back.
'Wahai manusia! Sungguh, Kami telah menciptakan kamu dari seorang laki-laki dan seorang perempuan, kemudian Kami jadikan kamu berbangsa-bangsa dan bersuku-suku agar kamu saling mengenal. Sungguh, yang paling mulia di antara kamu di sisi Allah ialah orang yang paling bertakwa. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui, Mahateliti.'
Difference...that's rahmat and we tend to forget that. We tend to not see it that way. I mean think about it, what would the world be without difference? It would be unimaginable.
When two surfaces are different, there's friction and friction generates heat right? Was that why I felt a fire burning in me? Anger in me? Astaghfirullah...that was not the way. I must embrace difference...embrace it. Lubricate those two surfaces and there will be friction no more :) What's the lubricant? Faith and love for Allah. Don't be silly and make a fool of yourself over petty things. Grow up! ^_^
Grow up and have courage to embrace difference :)
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Twice today I've been reminded about worth. You can't imagine how different those two ways were but nonetheless they brought to my attention the same thing. What is that? Your own worth.
I don't know if you've ever felt this but there are times, perhaps many times we wish to be other people. That doesn't have to be all negative but I think the boundaries between can somewhat get blurred till you don't realise that what you hope for has gone a bit too far. Wanting to be someone else...that can't be right because the one you should be is you. It wouldn't be wrong at all to respect and be inspired by great personalities. What is wrong is to want to be them...exactly the way they are.
There's also another thing that I don't quite agree with. It's the way we say 'this is who I am'. So confidently we say, 'don't expect me to be anything but me therefore you can't make me change'. You see, change is essential. The only thing that's constant is change. And of course I'm referring to this world and not anything beyond that. When there's a trait in you that isn't quite one that is preferable, how could you be so confident that that trait is just who you are? If you know it's an undesireable trait, one that goes against Allah's wishes...are you happy with it being in you and would you want it to stay?
I mean think about it. Who are you? Are you certain you are who you think you are? Or are you more than that?
'You still don't see what you're worth.' That remark hit me hard. Yes...I guess that's true and astaghfirullah...what a shame. Brothers and sisters we must find our worth...we must find our strength. We're not all that helpless as we may think we are...neither are we weak. We have strength no matter how little and each of us are different which in turn, is also a form of strength.
Be not what you want to be but be what Allah want's you to be. That doesn't stop there though. Be the best in it. We are worth a whole lot more than we think.
Salam alayk~ :)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
yup... just little things are what's dearest to me.
Salam alayk brothers & sisters,
Did I start off being too vague there? Well now, what do I mean by little things or perhaps small actions? Here I should say that there has been a 'misnomer' in this (my lecturer Prof Lee likes to say this :P) You know why? Coz those little things are what actually give huge and lasting effects which in turn doesn't make them so little anymore. It's the little things we do in life~
So why say little?
Because those actions, as surprising as it may seem considering the consequences it may give, are just simple actions. Actions that can be done by you and me :) You don't need to be of a certain age group, gender, race or whatever difference you can think of to set us apart. Allah made it in such a way that anybody is capable. Everybody is capable, insyaAllah. Actions that are simple yet go a long way and most importantly, touches the heart rather than the mind and we all know which of the two are more important...right?
Here's a video on our beloved prophet Muhammad. 'The chosen one' sung by Maher Zain. I grew very fond of this video as it portrays those little things that our prophet taught us. The exact little things I was talking about. The same things we tend to forget and worse, feel as though unimportant. Perhaps you've listened to this song many times or even watched this but let's make a change today. Let's pay attention to the little things in this video. Do watch!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Do I know what I want? Yes, I think I do but then again when you put more thought in it and when you think of consequences, situations, other people around you...suddenly it's not so simple to simply say 'I want that.' Not anymore. Not till you justify the means.
I wonder too what He has in store for me. This life ahead of me, this breath that I'm taking in right now...what will I be lead to? Do I really know what I want and will that be the best for me? Scarily enough, it might not. Hopefully though, it just might be. Perhaps 'might' isn't such a good word ey? :P hee~ So what do we do? Have faith in Allah. Trust that He will guide you.
You know day by day, I've come to feel it more than ever...the fact that I want Allah to handle my life instead of me trying as if I know what's best. And that is how things go anyway, like it or not and whether you realise it or not...Allah does handle your life. Every bit of it all this time coz ultimately....He is the One that knows best.
And that is something you should always be absolutely certain about :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
She said, 'Raga mak mungkin tak mampu untuk menyeberangi lautan yang begitu luas...tapi mak yakin, Allah pasti tau...hati mak udah lama ada di situ.'
[I may not have the strength to cross the wide seas...but I know that Allah surely knows...my heart has been there long ago.]
The place she was referring to is Masjidil Haram in Makkah.
Subhanallah. How those words deeply penetrate my heart. To possess such love...it makes me wonder where my heart has gone. For someone to see so clearly what holds meaning in his or her life is incredible. Not everybody in this world could do that. For those who could, not all of them could keep it that way constantly (istiqamah). MasyaAllah...
That old lady in the story knows where her heart is. Do you?
Friday, November 26, 2010
Right now I'd just like to say that all of us should always find ways to purify our hearts. Always...coz syaitan would never stop trying to creep in and change the purest of intentions into dark ones. He'd find his way somehow and the only One to protect you would be Allah.
There is good in our hearts. We just have to look for it and take care of it. I'm not saying it's easy coz it is difficult but that's how we're created...
...to be in struggle.
My dear self...don't worry. Allah is enough for you and insyaAllah He will be the One to save you.
By the way, here's a song I'd like to share. May it hold some meaning for you as it does for me insyaAllah.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Ever thought of the power of good character? In this I mean 'akhlak'. How strong could it be? Would it make a difference? Would it show you're weak?
No. In fact, history shows us unsuspecting turns that good character could bring. How it could touch the hardest and coldest of hearts. How it can bring light to the dark. Here is a song of such a story, sang by brother Dawud Wharnsby. A story of what happened years ago when Rasulullah came across an old pagan lady and wanted to help her. Wanna know what happened? Do listen first and find out! ^_^
Subhanallah :) Lovely isn't it? Just good character..one rare to find. That's what touched that old pagan lady's heart. Could you have kept smiling if you were in his shoes? Kept on walking and helping her? InsyaAllah, may we be able to...coz we are his ummah!
Peace and blessings be upon you, ya Rasulullah~
p/s: I just noticed the many meanings of the word 'unsuspecting' that wouldn't fit in with the title of this post. Just to say that in this context I meant for it to mean 'not expected'. okay? An outcome that was not expected. ^_^
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I'd just like to point out a very small incident yesterday. Well, it wasn't very small to me actually but what I meant by that just now was coz something this small could have just passed by anybody...but not me. hee :)
Okay then, what happened? I was just standing outside the toilet waiting for my mum. Had some bags with me so I just leaned against the wall not really paying attention to my surroundings. Heard someone come down the stairs right beside me so I turned around. (a reflex towards sound and movement I suppose.) I didn't realize my turning was so sudden! In front of me now was a man still far from me actually but seeing that I'm female he looked towards the floor immediately saying, 'Astaghfirullah halazim.'
And I thought to myself. Men like this still do exist. Alhamdulillah ^_^
'Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do.'
To my brothers, may you bear this in mind and may Allah reward you in ways you can't possibly imagine :) Ameen~
p/s- to my sisters, ours will be the next verse cay? hee ^_^
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Bagi seorang pejuang, walaupun tubuhnya dikelilingi keletihan dan kesakitan, jasadnya dikoyak oleh bebanan dakwah namun iman di hatinya tetap memancarkan cinta dan mengajak kita untuk terus berlari.
Teruslah bergerak, hingga keletihan itu penat mengikuti kita.
Teruslah berlari, hingga kebosanan itu bosan mengejar kita.
Teruslah berjalan, hingga keletihan itu letih bersama kita.
Teruslah bertahan, hingga kefuturan itu lemah menyertai kita.
Tetaplah berjaga, hingga kelesuan itu lesu menemani kita.
^_^ masyaAllah...my heart feels a lot better after reading that. :)
What a way to look at things. To keep moving on till the fatigue we feel will be tired of following us. To run till boredom get's bored of trying to catch us. Is it possible? Yes it is! Why? Because anything can happen if Allah wills it and insyaAllah He will help those on His path.
Never say you can't do something.
Have more trust in Him. He won't let you down.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
May you love Allah more than I do ^_^...
Was I worried? Yes...and I still am. Why? Being alive you should be worried. Worried for you don't know how your end will be. Sometimes I think to myself how often have I actually really worried about the after life rather than trivial things in this world. Things I'd like to say, don't last rather than the things that do.
It's weird to think of after life? Of course not! What's weird is if you don't think about it and if it never crossed your mind. As muslims who believe in the hereafter, we should act in a way that shows that belief. We won't live forever and in fact everyday we approach the last day of our lives. So, what's stopping you from obeying Allah?
Seriously, what's stopping me??!
Astaghfirullah halazim...Forgive me Ya Ghaffar :'(
Feeling relieved is a wonderful feeling, but I haven't felt true relief yet. Coz true relief is saved for later. Once we know where we end up going. Once we've passed this test of being alive in this world. Allah made me feel some relief after accomplishing things, after sitting for exams, after getting better from sickness etc. but all that short term relief is nothing compared to what lies in store for us in the hereafter.
Eternal relief... I want that.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Smart don't you think? ^_^ MasyaAllah...
Monday, October 25, 2010
Mengapa ana menangis?
Kerana ana terpesona dengan Allah :) terpesona dengan Allah sebagai Pencipta. Sejauh manakah kita memahami nama Allah, Al-Kholiq? Dengan nama itu sendiri seharusnya kita sudah pun jatuh cinta pada Allah. Sudah mahu tunduk kepadaNya dan berserah diri kerana sifatNya itu. Dialah yang menciptakan sekecil-kecil benda yang tidak mampu kita lihat sehinggalah ke sebesar-besar makhluk yang tampak sangat hebat di mata kita. MasyaAllah, itu baru satu nama, belum lagi 98 nama yang lain.
Manusia pula ciptaannya daripada tanah. Asalnya seperti tempat yang hina, tempat yang dipijak...tapi adakah benar api itu lebih baik daripada tanah seperti yang dikatakan oleh iblis? Tidak...dia salah.
"...Dia berfirman, 'Sungguh, Aku mengetahui apa yang tidak kamu ketahui."
Tanah itu jika diambil, ia mudah untuk dibentuk dan dari tanahlah keluarnya bermacam-macam jenis hasil. Bukankah itu sifat yang sesuai bagi tugas manusia? Tugas manusia untuk berada di muka bumi ini sebagai khalifah Allah, sebagai makhluk yang memakmurkan bumi. Tanahlah yang paling sesuai! Maka itulah yang Allah gunakan.
Gambar yang diambil di Gallway :)
Hari ini dalam perjalanan pulang ke Dublin dari Gallway ana rasa begitu banyak yang ana dapat dari perjalanan itu sendiri. Melihat alam yang terbentang luas dengan tumbuh-tumbuhan, haiwan bermacam jenis, laut, bukit-bukit hijau, bukit-bukit berbatu dan langit Allah yang berdiri teguh tanpa tiang. Semua ciptaan Allah yang diciptakan untuk kita, manusia. Hanya melihat ciptaanNya sudah buat ana rasa tenggelam kerana hakikatnya kita ini sangat kerdil dan Allah itu Maha Besar. Kemudian ana terfikir, adakah Allah melihat ana yang seperti titik kecil ini di sebalik segala ciptaanNya yang lain? Jawapannya ya! Allah melihat bahkan Allah mencintai kita lebih dari apa yang dapat kita bayangkan!
He does see you, He does love you, He's patient with you not remembering Him and is waiting for you to remember! Always there and still there waiting for you to ask His forgiveness. Waiting for you to reach for Him for He's held out to you long before.
Waiting for you to love Him.
Astaghfirullahhalazim...wujudkah sesuatu yang lebih layak untuk dicintai? Tidak! How could you not love Allah? How could you?!
Dan ketika itulah air mata ana mengalir...dan ketika itulah ana bahagia ^_^
Gambar di Gallway lagi :)
Ya Allah, kurniakanlah petunjuk dan hidayahMu kepada kami dan janganlah Engkau pesongkan iman kami sesudah kami dikurniakan petunjuk. Kasihanilah kami, rahmatilah kami, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami ya Allah. Tambahkanlah keimanan di dada kami serta keyakinan kami terhadapMu. Selamatkanlah kami ya rabbal alamin.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Hari ini sekadar ingin berkongsi sebuah peringatan yang ana rasa begitu menyentuh perasaan. Mungkin selama ini kita mengambil ringan bacaan-bacaan sewaktu kita menunaikan solat kerana kurang penghayatan ataupun kerana kita tidak memahami apa yang dibacakan. Mari kita lihat betapa besarnya makna salah satu daripada doa-doa tersebut.
BESARNYA makna DOA YANG KITA LUPAKAN - semasa duduk antara dua sujud. (Diambil dari sini.)
Dalam tidak sedar, setiap hari kita memohon dalam solat kita tetapi sayangnya, kita hanya memohon tanpa memahami. Sekadar tersebut dibibir, tetapi tidak tersentuh dari hati kita selama ini.
Marilah kita mula menghayati doa ketika kita duduk di antara dua sujud semasa solat. Dengan rendah hati nyatakanlah permohonan ampun kepada Allah, Rabbighfirli (Tuhanku, ampuni aku). Diamlah sejenak, buka dada dan diri kita untuk menerima ampunan dari Allah.
Tetaplah membuka diri kita untuk menerima ampunan Allah. Ulangi permintaan itu beberapa kali hingga kita merasakan ketenangan. Kemudian sampaikanlah permintaan kedua, Warhamni (sayangi aku). Diam dan tundukkanlah diri kita untuk menerima kasih-sayang Allah yang tak terhitung besarnya.
Bukalah dada kita seluas-luasnya agar semakin banyak kasih-sayang Allah yang kita terima. Ulanglah beberapa kali hingga kita merasa cukup. Berturut-turut sampaikanlah permintaan-permintaan berikut dengan cara sebagaimana tersebut di atas, satu persatu..
Wajburnii (tutuplah aib-aibku)
Warfa'nii (angkatlah darjatku)
Warzuqnii (berilah aku rezeki)
Wahdinii (berilah aku petunjuk)
Wa'Aafinii (sihatkan aku)
Wa'fuannii (maafkan aku)
Setelah selesai, diamlah sejenak lalu sampaikan rasa syukur kita betapa besarnya nilai doa ini, sebuah doa yang kita hanya remehkan begitu sahaja.
MasyaAllah. Apabila dibaca dengan penuh kesedaran sebegini, perasaannya berbeza kan? :')
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Ever wonder why do we read the Quran even if we can't understand a single Arabic word? This is a short story to demonstrate.
An old American muslim lived on a farm in teh mountains of Eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning, "Grandpa" was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Quran. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could. One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa, I try to read the Quran just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand, I forget as soon as I close the book. There is no use reading the Quran then?"
The grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."
The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said " You'll have to move a little faster next time..." and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he we to get a bucket of water instead.
The old man called him & said , "I don't want a bucket of water, I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.
At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into the river but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See grandpa? It's useless!"
"So you think it's useless?" The old man said, "...take a look at the basket."
The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and now was clean inside out.
"Son, that's what happens when you read the Quran. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside out time by time. That is the purpose of reading the Quran in our lives."
Simple and sweet don't you think? :)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
What do I feel? Well to be honest it almost slipped my mind till a friend wished me. :P People rejoice on their birthdays right? but to me it's a day I'm reminded of responsibilities as to the years of life I've been given by Allah...and now it's reached 19.
I'm still very young as most people say. True...but I believe that age is just a number and that maturity comes from experience, not age. I hope to be able to be mature for what that word really means. I hope to be able to see things more clearly with my heart. Not to act rashly but to think first. To be patient in times I thought I never could. To forgive in those times too. To love and go where true love goes and may Allah guide me to hold the world in my hand and not hold it in my heart.
I need to be stronger and to be steadfast in my steps on my way to Him. To be the best because He wants me to. To bring up His deen! Lailahaillallah.
And if all that fails...I hope to be strong at heart, to be content and to be thankful..for I trust that He knows the reasons for everything and that nothing I do is forgotten or lost.
I hope Allah will give me strength to love Him more and may He give me someone who does love Him more than I do. One who I will help and will help me in my journey to Him. InsyaAllah~
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Okay so what's all that about? Well as you might've guessed, I'm currently down with a cold & a sore throat. I can still talk though. Alhamdulillah, for sickness is one of the ways Allah shows He cares :) Shouldn't I be thankful? hee...
Woke up at around 4.30 am this morning coz I slept too early last night and now drinking warm lemsip. I've gotta tell you it really soothes the throat. Wish they'd sell lemsip in Malaysia. I mean people can catch a cold in Malaysia too you know despite warm or should I say hot weather. Oh well, aside from the cold insyaAllah I'm well :)
Class starts earlier today. Finally I'm really into this course I've waited so long for. So far it's been great alhamdulillah. Talked to a bunch of people from all over the world already but still far from knowing everyone in my batch though. Don't worry, on my way to that! ^_^ 2 days ago there was a ceremony for us freshers called the 'white coat ceremony'.. sounds cool? haha... It was done to mark the beginning of the medical course. Like stepping into the field on the way to be good doctors by putting our white coats together. What I liked about the whole thing was the speeches given. I'd say they were speeches you would want to listen to rather than sleep to. Very inspiring you know and I liked the ones given by 3 final students best.
From the way they talked to the content of their speech, insyaAllah I think they'd become good doctors and you should know that being a good doctor does not only depend on how well you do your job but also your attitude. Like one of them said, whenever you ask the ones best in this field about what separates a good doctor from a bad one they'd often say 'empathy'. Yup, I think so too but I'd add another thing though which is iman & takwa :) When I was in the hall I remembered our muslim scholars of the past and felt a bit teary eyed to tell you the truth. Why? Coz they were great in their jobs and masyaAllah that made them even closer to Allah rather than being closer to the world.
I'm about to embark on this journey that they've long gone through and you know how important it is to have the right beginning in your heart (Bidayah Sohihah). To know what you're aiming for right at the start coz even like those final students, when they get caught up in a tight situation, they'd think to themselves and try to remember why did I want to become a doctor? InsyaAllah, when I ask that to myself in the future, I'd want to be able to answer each and everytime that 'All this is because of Allah.'
Friday, September 24, 2010
Alhamdulillah, I've arrived safely in Dublin and I'm currently amongst such wonderful sisters :) Everywhere we go, there are sisters to offer us food! Haha...so don't worry mama & abah cay? :) Rather than feeling like I'm someplace new, it feels like I've just returned to those who I've known forever and insyaAllah that will come true.
Forgive the late update. Haven't really settled down properly here. Staying at my senior's house for now. Waiting for my own which will take a while but no worries, everything has its own reasons and well what we can do is to make the best of it! :D
Went to the park the other day... loved it ^_^ It's nice to walk in slightly chilly weather. You're not tired and you get to breathe fresh air. Here that is. huhu...Walking on the streets reminded me of London. Those times my family and I would walk to every place we wanted to go coz we didn't have a car. It was nice but well, this time being in europe without my family I do feel the difference. (okay2..I miss my family..hee ^_^)
Class started already :) and yes it's very exciting alhamdulillah. I'm still trying to get the hang of walking to RCSI and also walking around in the building itself. Got lost a couple of times in the building but I'm happy to report that I found my way back home on my own! hehe...
So, till I write some more insyaAllah. ^_^
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Salam alayk my brothers & sisters :) Today before I go off to Taiping, here I'd like to wish 'Eid mubarak' to mama & abah, my family, all those who know me and the whole ummah!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
So, what exactly is my point? Haha...well, I wish to thank those whose actions, words, decisions...have spread to me like ripples of water. Touching my heart personally and many others. Unlike ripples, the actions, words and consequences to decisions people make may spread through the ages and keep going, transcending whatever boundaries that would've stopped it. From the humblest of actions coming from a friend, a neighbour, a brother to magnificent ones from scholars, dear companions and of course our beloved Rasulullah~
Though perhaps unknowingly, many have touched this heart of mine and willed it to wanting more. Taught it many things it wouldn't have known or felt. Taught it love...taught it how to love for the sake of Allah. In the end when you go to the root of everything, they are ripples from Him Himself :) How fortunate to be chosen to spread His word. To be chosen to be the ones that give effect.
My dear brothers & sisters, He chose us. ^_^
Over all that He's created, we are chosen to spread the word, to be His caliphs. With that such a great responsibility and I feel ashamed thinking of how far we are from fulfilling our duties. From giving the right effect.
And for that I must learn. Learn from those ahead of me in this and I must run to catch up. Hold out my hand and reach hoping for it to be taken. Not to forget to take when someone else reaches out theirs. So here I say, thank you. May Allah bless you many, many times over for He is the best at that~
"Tidak mungkin bagi seseorang yang telah diberi kitab oleh Allah, serta hikmah dan kenabian, kemudian dia berkata kepada manusia, "Jadilah kamu penyembahku, bukan penyembah Allah," tetapi (dia berkata), "Jadilah kamu pengabdi-pengabdi Allah, kerana kamu mengajarkan kitab dan kerana kamu mempelajarinya!"
Monday, September 6, 2010
Something you might not know about me is that I love leaves. Leaves like the ones you see here. It makes me feel serene and who wouldn't feel that way when looking at green? Right? Perhaps it's a bond I have with nature... haha :P I do have a problem with my alma matter being rather barren now. No more pine trees and tall beautiful casuarinas :( It's all tarred roads and heat.
Oh well, what's done is done. Alhamdulillah I had the opportunity to be in school when the trees weren't chopped off yet and I'm very thankful that in Taiping (my kampung) the trees are still there :) Those old trees. I wonder how old they are. I'll be going back to my grandparent's house on wednesday morning insyaAllah. Might get a chance to drive. (I just got my license! ^_^) huhu... May we safely go and return. I might not be celebrating raya at my kampung next year. Looking forward to this one somehow despite the sadness of this blessed month leaving.
No matter where you'll be spending your raya, I hope you'd be filled with joy and happiness. May we all attain His forgiveness~
Alhamdulillah...Allah has bestowed upon me so much...upon us all really. Thinking about it all can get you drowned in thought. Just thinking about what He has given us. Right now I'm in the comfort of my home, sitting here typing these words. Alhamdulillah...
I think many would have thought that I'd be filing this blog with many posts especially considering recent events..haha..but I guess once again the pause. It's alright, Allah has His reasons for everything. Let me catch up on some things then. My A-level results have been out for quite sometime. Honestly, it wasn't awesome. I learned my lesson there. I got ABB which is 13 points and alhamdulillah that's enough for me to pass the qualification in order to fly to Dublin. InsyaAllah my flight will be on the 22nd of September :) Off I go to pursue medicine in Royal College of Surgeons Ireland insyaAllah.
"Allah tidak membebankan seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Dia medapat (pahala) dari (kebajikan) yang dikerjakannya dan dia mendapat (siksa) dari (kejahatan) yang diperbuatnya. (Mereka berdoa) "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau melakukan kesalahan. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebani kami dengan beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tidak sanggup kami memikulnya. Maafkanlah kami, ampunilah kami, dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah pelindung kami, maka tolonglah kami menghadapi orang-orang kafir."
He saved me...again. Something He never stops doing.
Allahu Allah...such mercy He's given me. Alhamdulillah ya Rabbal 'alamin. Alhamdulillah.
You know, sometimes we regret things but now I want to look at it differently. We all believe that Allah has fated everything that has happened, is happening and will happen. I'm teaching myself to really believe that. Like, there are many things I wish to share here but sometimes it just doesn't get written yet. Why? Perhaps because it's not time yet. And there was this one time I did some sharing with my sisters in TKC and it turns out I didn't get to say all things that I wanted to say but I believe that the things I did say, is what Allah wants them to hear. When I think that way I feel at peace and I have no regrets because I know He has planned it all perfectly and I need not worry.
Saying that though, doesn't mean we should not plan or make effort to do things. Being a muslim means we must always do our best. Always because our goal isn't just for us but for Allah, our deen and our ummah. We should strive to be the best there is in our field of study, our field of work, our ways (akhlak)...everything. We must strive for it because we have a duty to fulfill.
Then we shall feel at peace when we succeed for Him and we won't have any regrets if things don't work out the way we expect.
Ya Allah, kurniakanlah kepada kami keikhlasan, istiqamah, kemudahan dan kekuatan untuk beribadah kepadaMu kerana sesungguhnya tiap sesuatu itu datang dariMu. Ampunilah, rahmatilah dan masukkanlah kami ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang beruntung ya Allah.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Early this year I was browsing the internet, watching videos of talks by muslim scholars till one day I found this american radio station. Meccaone~
It provides recordings of various discussions held at the station which is really very interesting and I highly recommend you to go check it out! I personally think it helps you to widen your scope of thinking as you'll get to listen to talks on various topics presented from all sorts of people, mostly muslim scholars. All those who love Allah, insyaAllah :) You might find things you've never even thought of before for instance how a person presents Islam through his photography, the different ways people do dakwah, how other muslims of different races from us improve themselves and continue to spread the word. It's just amazing. Some recordings come also in videos you can watch.
I don't know why I haven't thought of posting this up before to share with all of you. Shame on me :( Truth is I have been very excited about it when I found out. And one more thing, the download is free! Perhaps the down side of it is that you need to download iTunes first if you don't already have it but that's free too so, not really a problem right? :P
I do hope, you'd find some good in it ^_^ InsyaAllah~ Please go check it out!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
You see, it's coz my laptop doesn't seem to connect with the internet and the only way for me to get online is through mama's laptop. Oh well, let's see where my fingers take me this time. Last week has been an interesting one. I had Arine over at my house till thursday morning and despite it being my home we're in, her presence made it different. It's as if I'm going on an adventure in my own house :)
Believe it or not for the many years, this is her 2nd visit. Only her 2nd! I can't even remember how many times I've visited her house (I'd say more than my fingers could count!) but yes, I guess living on an island is hard to reach :P At last on sunday evening, she made it.
Sure we do many things together but this time there was a change. What was that? :P For the first time, we both cooked together! Yes, we did! On the 1st of Ramadhan, Arine and I cooked dinner. Mama wasn't expecting it but somehow she did put her trust on us to prepare food that night. That really felt like an achievement to me. Wasn't really thinking about it till Arine pointed out, 'Hey, it's great that your mum trusts us to do this.' I was like, 'yeah :)'.
What did we prepare?
Sup ikan, ayam masak merah and sayur. It tasted great! Really! And I think Arine would be the one to know how happy I was. haha...Well, it isn't my first time cooking or anything it's just that cooking never fails to give me a sense of satisfaction when it's finished. :) And even better is when I see my family finish the food. Childish of me? So be it. haha... I think it's important for us to find things we enjoy doing and to always have that excitement when doing it.
Last night I prepared one of my favourite dishes, tomyam! I used to remember when I was a child, I'd beg mama to cook it everyday. She wouldn't of course coz we can't eat the same thing every single day. haha... Now alhamdulillah, I can prepare it myself ^_^ I'm sorry you didn't get to taste my tomyam Arine. That just means you should come visit me often :P
There's nothing wrong in finding joy in little things in life. Things like meeting a friend, just seeing your sister smile, your parents smile, getting to cook a nice dish, seeing a little flower bloom after pushing it's way through the snow saying 'spring is here!' or even just listening to nature itself. It may strike people as being naive but why should that matter if it gives you happiness? Right? :)
p/s: gosh, no pictures of the dishes we cooked! haha... nevermind :P
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Alhamdulillah...today, I finally get to write after so long. Alhamdulillah...for I'm still alive this very moment to write this post and given the opportunity by Allah to relay the message of Islam.
From Abu Ruqaiyah, Tamim bin Aus al-Dhari r.a, the Prophet p.b.u.h said that,
"Ad-deenu nasihah" (The deen [Islam] is an advice)
The hadith above is the 7th hadith of the 40 hadiths of Imam Nawawi.
Reading that hadith, it dawned to me on how true it is. The truth that Islam itself is advice. Guidance given to us on this journey of life. I have people telling me their problems and when they do, to them it seems like there is no way out of it. It's like giving up. I too feel that way sometimes but I try not to stop there. Put more thought in it and search for the 'hikmah' beyond what has happened. Search for it. Don't just stop there.
Honestly, if you tell me anything that's bothering you and you ask my opinion on what to do, I can only think of one answer. Not because that's the last resort. Not because I'm out of ideas. Not because I'm lazy to think and I have nothing good to say...but because that one answer is the truth. Because that one answer IS the solution which is, turn to Allah. Turn to Islam. That's the only thing that can calm our hearts regardless of whatever that has happened to us. And that's where we get the best advice.
I always thought that the answer is clear but I know now that to some people it's not. It's okay, I'm telling you then :) The fact that your heart feels uneasy and it's as if life just passes by you without you feeling content deep down in your heart even after accomplishing so much in the eyes of people. Why is that? It's because that heart is far from remembering Allah. Far from being in love with Allah. Far from fulfilling ones true destiny and trapped in darkness. Ones heart which is blinded by satan.
How scary it is to have a blind heart rather than unable to see with your eyes. Open your heart. Ask Allah to open your heart. Use it to see..my brothers and sisters. Use your heart to see! Coz the truth has always been there...right in front of your faces. Truth is..you already know what to do. You already know where to go to for help and that is to Allah.
I learnt today that when a calamity hits, patience that Allah wants is at that point. That's the point that Allah does not want you to lose control. It's not when it's all over, you've lost control and probably did something reckless (naudzhubillah) and suddenly you say, "Owh.. I should be patient." MasyaAllah it's difficult isn't it? Yes it is! I'm not saying it isn't coz it is! But as I've mentioned before, that's why the reward is so great. SO GREAT because it is SO HARD to do. Supressing the nafs for the sake of Allah S.W.T...that is mujahadah.
InsyaAllah, may Allah give us the strength to hold Him tightly in our hearts. The strength to supress our nafs for His sake...It's not for anybody else my brothers and sisters it's for Allah.
Allah..the true love to us all~
Monday, June 21, 2010
Suatu hari, Imam Ibnul Jauzi ditanya oleh seseorang. "Manakah yang lebih baik bagiku, bertasbih atau beristighfar?" Dengan bijak, Ibnul Jauzi menjawab, "Pakaian yang kotor lebih memerlukan sabun daripada minyak wangi."
Jawapan yang padat makna dan sarat dengan hikmah. Dalam erti kata lain, bagi Ibnu Jauzi, beristighfar itu lebih utama dilakukan untuk 'mencuci pakaian yang kotor dari segala noda'.
Menarik bukan? :) Ana begitu tertarik dengan pendapat ini. Semoga sama-sama kita memperoleh kebaikan. InsyaAllah...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Salam alayk :)
My goodness this is my longest pause from writing a post I think. Forgive me for that. I'm still in the middle of my a-level exams you see. Hope you, the one reading is in great health insyaAllah. I came across an application that would give me a daily Hadith. Meaning different ones to ponder on each day and today it was about 'Hasty judgement'. Now that must be familiar don't you think? It's something we all tend to do once in a while if not all the time. We are hasty in our judgement. What does that mean? It means to immediately draw conclusions without bothering to get all the facts right first. Simplest example would be towards the things we listen to. We may hear things about people which may turn out to be untrue. Which may turn out differently from what we think it means merely due to difference in perspective.
I used to think that to solve things people should talk about it and settle it. You know, really discuss and speak out their minds so that things would be clear to both sides but I notice that it doesn't always work. Especially if you're the only one wanting to speak. So what is there to be done? I'd feel as though I'm at a dead end sometimes....but today alhamdulillah Allah made me come across this Hadith :) and I must say that prayer Rasulullah made is indeed very fitting.
'Enable me to see reality for what it really is.'
Ameen...Yes, may Allah grant us that. The ability to see the truth for what it truly is and not based on our perspective alone. Coz I know now that truth isn't just about how we perceive things. We need to be humble enough to accept other points of view from other people.
We need to be humble enough to try and think of others before our own selves. I was once told off about this and yes, I do see that now. See that what he said is true although maybe that time I did feel like I was being unfairly judged but that doesn't matter. That unfair judgement did teach me something which I think is more important.
There's a blessing in everything that happens and if we try hard enough to understand, insyaAllah we'll be able to see those blessings...even in events we least expect ^_^
Friday, May 7, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
A friend shared this with me today and I want to share it with you :)
"I am a traveler seeking the truth, a human searching for the meaning of humanity and a citizen seeking dignity, freedom, stability and welfare under the shade of Islam. I am a free man who is aware of the purpose of his existence and who proclaims: "Truly, my prayer and my sacrifice, my living and my dying are all for Allah, the Lord of the worlds; no partner has He. This, am I commanded and I am of those who submit to His Will." This is who I am. Who are you?"
So simply said ey? How wonderful it is to be able to say this and mean it. To have these words come out of you straight away without you having to structure it as it is apart of your soul. It is who you are. May he be blessed by Allah always.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Dalam sibuk-sibuk nak exam ni saya rasa elok lah kita berehat sebentar dan mengambil iktibar daripada hadis di atas iaitu hadis ke-38 daripada hadis 40 Imam Nawawi ^_^ jom!
Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a, Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: Sesungguhnya Allah Taala berfirman:
"Sesiapa yang memusuhi orang yang setia kepadaKu, maka Aku mengisytiharkan perang terhadapnya. Tiada seseorang hambaKu yang menghampiriKu dengan sesuatu yang lebih Aku cintai daripada ia menunaikan perkara fardhu ke atas dirinya. Hambaku sentiasa menghampiriKu dengan ibadat sunat sehingga Aku mencintainya. Tatkala Aku telah mencintainya, Akulah sebagai pendengarannya yang ia mendengar dengannya, sebagai penglihatannya yang ia melihat dengannya, sebagai tangannya yang ia bertindak dengannya, dan sebagai kakinya yang ia berjalan dengannya. Sekiranya ia meminta kepadaKu, pasti Aku berikan kepadanya, dan sekiranya ia memohon perlindungan kepadaKu nescaya Aku melindunginya."
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
This reminds me of a saying from someone,
"It's not about living forever, it's about living with yourself forever."
Okay, of course it's a movie line but who says we can't be triggered to think from it? Anyways, what caught me was that bit I highlighted. 'Living with yourself'. It doesn't mean live by yourself. No..no that's not it. What it means is to be able to accept who you are and live with it. You yourself accepting who you are. You being patient with yourself. Being patient the fact that you have weaknesses or you don't possess certain strengths like others. You trying hard to correct flaws and even if you fail to, you try harder to not hate yourself for it. Being able to love yourself moderately. Not too much till you go way over your head and not too little till you wish to be someone else. Think it's easy to live with yourself? Sometimes I find it difficult. Ironically, you are one person you can never run away from. huhu.
Allah is Great :) Life is just so interesting!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
There you go. I start off with a smile. Great isn't it? :)
It's funny how one can change completely from one particular feeling to the exact opposite in an instant. In my case right now, from a rather unhappy post yesterday...this morning, this instant at least...I'm happy ^_^
And because of that I want to savior every bit of it while it lasts.
Sometimes we just need to be reminded of things to get us back on track. Alhamdulillah, Allah made me visit a friend's blog this morning that opened my eyes and made me smile. Although maybe what he talked about really had very little relation with what's bothering my heart and mind right now...still, Alhamdulillah... :)
I have to be strong and even stronger than before. It takes perseverance right? I guess it's easy to be a child and fret about everything but it takes a lot to swallow whatever faults you've done or those done by other people to you and just grow up and be patient.
Am I still a child? or will I grow up?
I'll grow up!
Strength is none but Allah. Thank you Allah.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Why should you be obligated to be anything else but who you're meant to be? Why does it matter so much about what people say and think of you when you know it's not true? Why try so hard to impress and end up not being able to? ....why?
These days, I spend most of my time alone like many others I guess. That's fine with me because I've always liked it that way. I guess it's just a way of retreating and isolating myself away from people who don't understand me. Going away to take my mind off things and to be at peace.
I realise I keep saying that...'people don't understand me'.
Sounds selfish doesn't it? I agree with you on that but sadly it's true and I'm not just saying this to put the blame on others or anything like that. I'm saying this because that really is the truth. I won't pretend that I know everyone but I do know that I try to and every time I would try my best to put up with how people are.
Many though don't feel the need to do that. To tolerate and be nice. To accept people. To know what to change and what to keep. To know your own flaws and admit it, own up to it. To open their minds....
I'm alrite...really I am...I just wish that people would think more. Use their heads and THINK. If you die tomorrow or right after this, would you still want to be in dispute? Would you?
And that's why I say, people just don't think of death enough.
I feel so small..so flawed. Incapable of taking care of something and let it stay. The road, i cant see the ending. I just dont know what to do. Stopped in my tracks. hesitating...whether to turn around or to walk on... and im still standing there, not going anywhere. I just wish I have a reason to turn back...and I wish you'd give me one... but how can I turn back to someone who doesn't want me there anymore?
p/s - hey arine...I must say, you've always known the right words to say to describe how I feel and right now when I'm lost for it, I had to take yours to express myself. Hope that's alright with you :) coz this is exactly how I feel.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Betul, memang begitulah yang sepatutnya. Namun keadaan hari ini, lebih ramai umat Islam yang beremosi tanpa dapat menegakkan kebenaran dengan hujah. Teguran buat diri sendiri dan juga buat kamu saudara-saudaraku. Kita masih perlu banyak belajar.
It's sad coz I realise how I can't be assertive enough to point out what's right and because of that, yang batil pula tertegak sedangkan yang hak tertimbus :(
Friday, March 19, 2010
"Ghandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it's very important that you do it."
Now how would you interpret that? Well what came to mind when I heard that is I realised how things in life just don't last. They don't, which is why they are said to be insignificant. Why then did Ghandhi say it's very important that we do it anyway? Sort of doesn't make sense right? Well I say, it's because in actual fact what we do IS significant. Why? Because what we do now here in our lifetime is what determines our fate in the hereafter. The hereafter which is eternal unlike this temporary world. An eternal life in akhirat rests upon what we do now...doesn't that make your actions now significant?
You see, realising this we should be comforted in knowing that everything we do counts. Nothing is a waste. Nothing is insignificant. Perhaps what we do may be insignificant to other people but then again don't be so sure about that. People don't realise what we do, so what? You know Allah knows, right? Just because people don't know it doesn't mean what you do is insignificant. We usually don't realise how our existence affects all that is around us. Some way or another we're all connected and with that, we influence one another in good ways and regrettably in bad ways too. It's a matter of choice how we choose to influence others.
My brothers and sisters, you are significant ;)
"Ajaib sungguh dengan keadaan seorang mukmin. Keadaannya sentiasa dalam kebaikan dan ini tidak berlaku melainkan hanya pada diri seorang mukmin. Sekiranya dia menerima nikmat kesenangan, dia bersyukur lalu itu menjadi kebaikan kepadanya. Dan sekiranya dia menerima ujian kesusahan, dia bersabar lalu itu juga menjadi kebaikan kepadanya."
Begitulah kelebihan yang diberikan Allah S.W.T kepada seorang mukmin yang menerima apa jua keadaannya dalam keadaan redha dan positif :) MasyaAllah~ Tenang.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Salam alayk my brothers and sisters,
Do you believe in that? Believe that Allah is telling you something. Believe that Allah is giving you hints and teaching you.
Well I do :) and I do now more than ever.
Sometimes, we just look at things the way they are without spending time to actually think about them in greater depth. I remember once when I was angry and you know what came to mind in the midst of that anger? I thought to myself, is Allah angry with me? Astaghfirullah halazim. I stopped myself from saying anything and instead I chose silence for I feel that my tongue will not be wise if it speaks. For I feel that my mind was clouded and my heart was not in place.
When we are angry, we don't think much. It just consumes us. That moment it's as if we're of a higher level than the person we're mad at when in actual fact we're not. It seems as though in our minds, we have the right to not forgive. I don't think this is true which is why now, I end up crying if I get so mad. Why? Because I don't want to be mad but being human for that split second I got upset. Remember the 16th hadith from the 40 hadiths of Imam Nawawi?
"La taghdob." (Don't be angry)
Back to what I said just now, I thought to myself is Allah angry with me? Naudzubillah... I wouldn't want that. No one would and I would pray that He'd forgive me. I'd remember that no matter how many wrong doings I'd do, no matter how many times I'd do it, He will always...always forgive me provided I repent. He will always forgive when I ask for forgiveness and He'd love me even more.
How different our Creator is from us His mere servants. We are so impatient and tend to act rashly but Allah...no...
Thinking about it that way makes me feel ashamed for being mad in the first place. It makes me realise how terrible it is to anger someone and worse still...to anger Allah. Alhamdulillah, rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah itu lebih luas dari kemarahanNya.
Allah sedang berbicara denganku..."Jangan marah, Nadira."
Tidakkah aku mahu mendengar? :)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The line separating good & evil.
Two very different things that will never be the same. Two things in which we are given the choice to choose from. The line between them is clear. There should be no confusion. Don't let satan blur that line for you. Don't let satan make you see as though they are the same. Good can never be the same as evil and neither can evil be good. Purify your heart for only with that can you see past all the lies and tricks of satan. Choose with that pure heart. Choose what is good and once chosen, bring your whole self into it.
Why remember the past when you have found something better? Why continue what is bad when you have embraced goodness? Why hold on to a little bit of darkness whan you have seen and felt the warmth of light? Why choose jahiliah when there is Islam? There's no reason for it... right? We have to learn to let go of things that we're better off without.
Firman Allah S.W.T,
It's either you're in or you're out. You can't be both...maka dengan sebab itu, masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan saudara-saudaraku. Berusahalah untuk membersihkan sisa-sisa jahiliah dalam diri sehingga benar-benar bersih.
Ask to be protected, ask to be strong. Change while you still can :)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I found this while reading one day. It made me think. Have I been honest with myself? If I have, was I too harsh? I still have a long way to go and there is still so much to think about.
Years ago, my best friend and I wrote a letter to ourselves. A letter of forgiveness. Truthfully, I didn’t quite feel it then. How it’s like to forgive yourself. What it means to do so. I think now, I’m beginning to see. Us humans, we can never run from making mistakes. Yes that much is true but we don’t say it as an excuse for us to do wrong but rather so that our hearts don’t get too upset if we do wrong coz that just shows that we’re human and there’s nothing wrong with being just that..right?
A friend told me once, that Allah created us with weaknesses. Not to say that He is weak for that is not His trait. We are created perfectly by Him. What’s weak here is us and that weakness is there so that we ask from Him. So that we depend on Him and Him alone. So that we realise that we have nothing aside from what He wills to give us. How poor we are to all that He has given. That is something we must remember. May He bless that friend of mine.
You know, I’ve been wanting to write for quite some time now but it seems so difficult. It feels like a precious gift has been taken away from me in which I have no control over. It’s sad when I feel as if my words don’t reach you, as though my words you can’t comprehend. Subhanallah...That just shows His Greatness over all don’t you think? That just shows how weak we are without Him. I can’t even control something as simple as writing.
I don’t know about you, but as for me I’m very fond of crying. Crying on my own for Allah. I guess I’ve mentioned that before. Even that simple act of crying is beyond my control and at times when my tears just won’t fall I get so upset and frustrated with myself. I know I shouldn’t be, but you know how emotions can sometimes get to me. Maybe I have been too harsh on myself. Do I think too much? I guess I do sometimes. In moments like this, I’d think of what our beloved Prophet has once said to Abu Bakar in the darkness of the cave they were hiding in. He said, “La takhof wa la tahzan, innallaha maana”. It means, don’t be afraid and don’t be sad for Allah is with us.
I should try to believe in myself more...shouldn’t I?
Friday, March 12, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
There you go. An answer from Allah :) He says that Rasulullah S.A.W our beloved prophet is the best example for us to follow. Since this is Allah who's recommending, do you feel it is wise to think that anyone else is a better example? ^_^
You see, why is it that all the great people we know in Islam are great? Are they superhumans of some sort? No. They are great alhamdulillah, because they strive hard to live their life following Rasulullah. They take it seriously when they say Lailahaillallah, muhammadurrasulullah. Serious in the sense that they acknowledge our prophet by following him in every way possible. When you think it over, they are human too. Just like me and you. Betapa adilnya Allah. Contoh yang diberikan tidak mustahil untuk diikuti. So, what's stopping us from being great? What's stopping us from following Rasulullah? We all do have the chance.
It's a matter of you believing in that or not. I'm not saying that we can't inspire to be like other people. Surely those we feel closer to us in which we can relate to would seem more realistic to follow. I'm only pointing out who's best :)
So my brothers and sisters, don't you want to follow 'the chosen one'? ^_^
Friday, March 5, 2010
I don't know about you but to me it's sweet. Sweet of Allah to show me signs in this way. Feeling the connection as something strong and ever so close. How He is actually never distant from us and how we are the ones making the distance. Astaghfirullah halazim.
InsyaAllah I shall continue when I have more time to spare.
Till then may Allah bless you and may He bestow upon you the feeling of syukur so that you don't forget Him and stay strong holding on to Him ^_^
Friday, February 12, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
It’s always wonderful to have someone talk to you about Allah. You know what a friend said to me yesterday? “One day even if we lose everything dear to us, know that we still have Allah because our bond with Him is just too strong.” And what is this bond? Our Aqidah. Something that ties us. Something so strong it just can’t break...so long as WE don’t break it because He won’t. He won’t leave. It’s always us that move away.
Have you ever really given it a thought the fact that Allah is so near and so close to us? Have you ever been in love and honestly truly feel that way towards Allah till nothing else can ever be as or more important as Him? It’s a different feeling. A feeling I can’t describe with mere words but what I know is there’s this serenity in you somehow. This feeling in your heart like no other.
I’m just a normal person like you and I don’t feel worthy of saying that I do love Allah will all my heart because He is just so Great and at times I’m so ashamed for being weak and for claiming to love Him when I still do wrong but despite that, I’ll tell you this...I do know that honestly...
I am in love...and I want to stay in love with the One that deserves it most.
I’m learning to realise His presence. To always hope and depend on Him instead of other people. I’m trying to understand the way He loves me, the way He loves us all. “Allah itu terlalu penyayang.” Yes, indeed that’s true.
I wonder if you get what I’m saying. Especially now that I feel my words are all over the place but for one thing I strongly believe in this...”Hanya hati mampu berbicara dengan hati.” (Only a heart can touch another) and maybe your heart can understand mine.
Bottom line is I want to say that, I want to be in love with Allah and because of this love I have for Him, I want you to be in love with Him too. I don’t know how things are going to turn out. I just hope and pray that He holds my heart and gives me strength.
A friend told me something she’d do to comfort herself when she’s scared. She’d take her finger and feel her pulse at her neck. You know why? Because Allah, is nearer to us than that pulse we feel...and doing that reminds her she need not be afraid.
Beautiful isn’t it? How Allah loves us.
My brothers & sisters, strengthen that bond and never let go.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
"Ketika orang lain bergantung kepada dunia, gantunglah dirimu pada tali Allah. Ketika orang lain merasa gembira dengan dunia, jadikanlah dirimu gembira kerana Allah. Ketika orang lain merasa bahagia kerana kekasih mereka, jadikanlah dirimu merasa bahagia dengan Allah, dan ketika orang pergi menghadap raja & pembesar untuk mengais harta & mencintai mereka, jadikanlah dirimu betul-betul mencintai Allah."
InsyaAllah, akan ku ingat kata-kata ini :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I know it's been a while since I wrote. You see, getting online hasn't exactly been easy. Don't know why. Some technical problems with the wireless I guess but no matter, I'm online now and I shall write.
Have you ever been through the same thing over and over and still not know how to go around it? I'm sure you have and in many conditions too like me. Well I'd like to point out one of them today. It's a helpless feeling really. It's like a mathematical question that you've been doing over and over but you just can't get the right answer even after trying a whole lot of ways. It's come to the point where you can't think of ways anymore and because of that you just stare at that question....thinking...and feeling disappointed in yourself for not being able to think of the right solution coz surely there is a solution for it.
Well that's just an example of course. As for the real situation I'd say it's best not to say but one thing I can say is, it involves others. Meaning this isn't exactly about me alone having problems with myself but rather seing a person I care about carry on with doing wrong. And so I can't write specifically what's wrong. (Kita perlu menjaga aib orang. InsyaAllah pada hari kita dibangkitkan nanti, Allah akan menutupi aib kita)
I always say that I hate to be judgemental when it comes to people. I don't feel it's right and moreover I feel that we do not have the right to judge people recklessly. Indeed there are people who can more or less see a person for who they really are but I feel that I have not come to that stage where I can do so fairly. After all, I'm merely a person of limited knowledge and to pretend to be knowledgable is NOT me.
I say things based on what I believe and I'm sure everyone does the same thing. How could you say something that contradicts yourself right? Because of that I pray that Allah gives me the right thoughts, the right way of thinking so that I do not have the wrong shift in paradigm. For that I need my teachers and friends as well. You see why we must choose our friends wisely? For us to care for and to be cared as no one person can face everything alone. There needs to be a check and balance somewhere and I pray my heart softens to accept criticism for it's needed as I can't always be right. I know that.
I need to be strong. Stronger than before. This heart of mine, I know it'll make it through. Yes, I am a mere servant of Allah but all of you reading, hear me when I say.... to honestly, truly be His servant is my desire. To have Him call upon me saying 'hambaKu'...how I'd cry to that.
Untuk dipanggil 'hamba-hamba Allah' adalah panggilan yang dibanggakan dan untuk itu aku harus kuat. Hatiku harus kuat supaya aku layak dipanggil hamba Allah. Sungguh, memang benar jalan dakwah itu bukan jalan yang mudah. Jalan kepada Allah...menuju kepadaNya bukan mudah... tapi jalan itulah... yang aku pilih. InsyaAllah, sekarang aku semakin faham. Faham apa ertinya untuk menjadi hamba. Faham yang aku perlu usaha lagi kerana perjalanan masih panjang dan aku tidak boleh terus menerus memberi alasan. Faham maksudnya apabila dikatakan kepadaku yang aku harus meneruskan hidup dalam perhambaan kepada Allah.
Segalanya terletak di tanganNya dan aku harus sedar yang perasaan sedih kerana aku tidak berdaya ini, diberikan oleh Allah kepadaku supaya aku tidak lupa diri dan terus bergantung dan berharap kepadaNya. Saudara-saudaraku, sedarlah...aku akan membantu semampuku. Tidak sanggup aku melihat saudara-saudaraku bergelumang dalam dosa. Kerana kasihku kepadamu, aku tidak sanggup. I know that things like this is easier said than done. It is...which is why I feel so helpless but insyaAllah I'll find a way someday. I do not deny the fact that I too need help but knowing that should not stop me from helping others.
I'm finding my way too...won't you find yours?
My dear sisters and brothers, to be alibis of maksiat...don't make me do such things anymore. Don't do things you need alibis for. Yes, that's easier said than done. I know...but even so, we can't stop trying. Right?