Monday, January 25, 2010

Peringatan untukku pagi ini :)

"Ketika orang lain bergantung kepada dunia, gantunglah dirimu pada tali Allah. Ketika orang lain merasa gembira dengan dunia, jadikanlah dirimu gembira kerana Allah. Ketika orang lain merasa bahagia kerana kekasih mereka, jadikanlah dirimu merasa bahagia dengan Allah, dan ketika orang pergi menghadap raja & pembesar untuk mengais harta & mencintai mereka, jadikanlah dirimu betul-betul mencintai Allah."

[Ibnul Qayyum]

InsyaAllah, akan ku ingat kata-kata ini :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A test I still haven't figured out an answer to.

Salam alayk :)

I know it's been a while since I wrote. You see, getting online hasn't exactly been easy. Don't know why. Some technical problems with the wireless I guess but no matter, I'm online now and I shall write.

Have you ever been through the same thing over and over and still not know how to go around it? I'm sure you have and in many conditions too like me. Well I'd like to point out one of them today. It's a helpless feeling really. It's like a mathematical question that you've been doing over and over but you just can't get the right answer even after trying a whole lot of ways. It's come to the point where you can't think of ways anymore and because of that you just stare at that question....thinking...and feeling disappointed in yourself for not being able to think of the right solution coz surely there is a solution for it.

Well that's just an example of course. As for the real situation I'd say it's best not to say but one thing I can say is, it involves others. Meaning this isn't exactly about me alone having problems with myself but rather seing a person I care about carry on with doing wrong. And so I can't write specifically what's wrong. (Kita perlu menjaga aib orang. InsyaAllah pada hari kita dibangkitkan nanti, Allah akan menutupi aib kita)

I always say that I hate to be judgemental when it comes to people. I don't feel it's right and moreover I feel that we do not have the right to judge people recklessly. Indeed there are people who can more or less see a person for who they really are but I feel that I have not come to that stage where I can do so fairly. After all, I'm merely a person of limited knowledge and to pretend to be knowledgable is NOT me.

I say things based on what I believe and I'm sure everyone does the same thing. How could you say something that contradicts yourself right? Because of that I pray that Allah gives me the right thoughts, the right way of thinking so that I do not have the wrong shift in paradigm. For that I need my teachers and friends as well. You see why we must choose our friends wisely? For us to care for and to be cared as no one person can face everything alone. There needs to be a check and balance somewhere and I pray my heart softens to accept criticism for it's needed as I can't always be right. I know that.

I need to be strong. Stronger than before. This heart of mine, I know it'll make it through. Yes, I am a mere servant of Allah but all of you reading, hear me when I say.... to honestly, truly be His servant is my desire. To have Him call upon me saying 'hambaKu' I'd cry to that.

Untuk dipanggil 'hamba-hamba Allah' adalah panggilan yang dibanggakan dan untuk itu aku harus kuat. Hatiku harus kuat supaya aku layak dipanggil hamba Allah. Sungguh, memang benar jalan dakwah itu bukan jalan yang mudah. Jalan kepada Allah...menuju kepadaNya bukan mudah... tapi jalan itulah... yang aku pilih. InsyaAllah, sekarang aku semakin faham. Faham apa ertinya untuk menjadi hamba. Faham yang aku perlu usaha lagi kerana perjalanan masih panjang dan aku tidak boleh terus menerus memberi alasan. Faham maksudnya apabila dikatakan kepadaku yang aku harus meneruskan hidup dalam perhambaan kepada Allah.

Segalanya terletak di tanganNya dan aku harus sedar yang perasaan sedih kerana aku tidak berdaya ini, diberikan oleh Allah kepadaku supaya aku tidak lupa diri dan terus bergantung dan berharap kepadaNya. Saudara-saudaraku, sedarlah...aku akan membantu semampuku. Tidak sanggup aku melihat saudara-saudaraku bergelumang dalam dosa. Kerana kasihku kepadamu, aku tidak sanggup. I know that things like this is easier said than done. It is...which is why I feel so helpless but insyaAllah I'll find a way someday. I do not deny the fact that I too need help but knowing that should not stop me from helping others.

I'm finding my way too...won't you find yours?

My dear sisters and brothers, to be alibis of maksiat...don't make me do such things anymore. Don't do things you need alibis for. Yes, that's easier said than done. I know...but even so, we can't stop trying. Right?

Monday, January 11, 2010


Saudara-saudaraku... menangislah kerana Allah...

Menangislah untuk-Nya, insyaAllah terselamatlah diri dari seksaan. Sungguh seksaan Allah itu amat berat dan tak akan ada yang sanggup menerimanya. Fikirkanlah, betapa singkatnya masa yang tinggal. Hari kiamat itu dekat saudara-saudaraku dan sekiranya kamu beriman kepada hari kiamat maka kamu harus sedarlah yang kiamat itu pasti dan pada saat itu semuanya akan hancur kecuali Allah yang Maha Esa, yang kekal selama-lamanya.

Menangislah kerana takut kepada Allah. Menangislah...kerana sungguh tangisan itulah yang paling layak.

Saudara-saudaraku, aku pernah terbaca bahawasanya teman yang paling baik adalah apabila kita melihat wajahnya, kita teringat akan Allah, mendengar kata-katanya akan menambahkan ilmu agama dalam dada kita, dan melihat gerak-gerinya kita teringat akan mati.

Sungguh, aku teringin menjadi sahabat yang seperti ini kepada kamu.
Sahabat ketika di dunia dan juga di akhirat.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

Just something quick.

Better than nothing right?

Salam alayk everyone :)

Someone told me something today that I'd like to share with all of you. Take a look at this;
"It's either you work for Allah or you work for satan."

Do you get what it means? Well, we should always do something for the sake of Allah and certainly when it's for Allah that means we wouldn't be doing something worthless right? So, if you're doing something and somehow you just can't relate it to Allah meaning you are not doing something for His sake, that may just mean you are doing it for satan! Naudzubillah.... we must be careful. Do you want to do something for the sake of satan? NO!

Also one more thing;
"If you're not doing something good, you're doing a bad thing."

Aha! What about that? You see, being bad doesn't just mean doing something bad only but not doing good is also a bad thing! WE CANNOT STOP DOING GOOD. okay?

Alright then, that's it for now. I know this is short but I do hope it goes a long way. Go tell everyone! :D ngee~ Peace be upon you :)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I'm okay.

I just wrote about death didn't I? Looks like I hit close to home. So close. (Maksudnya, rupa-rupanya ada kaitan rapat dengan diri sendiri)

Today, my grand aunt passed away. Innalillah hiwainnailaihi rajiun... Grand aunt meaning my grandmother's elder sister. Us grandchildren call her Tok wan. I went to visit her the night before I left for Madinah. Never occured to me that was the last time I'd see her smile back at me. The last time I get to lie down beside her and just hold her hand.

You see, I don't think I've mentioned Onyang before so let me just tell you a bit then. Onyang is my great grandmother. The mother of both my grandmother and my grand aunt. She's lived with me all my life ever since I was little and I grew ever so attached to her. She passed away 6 years ago. If I think about her, I can still hear her voice calling out to me. Asking me to wake up and pray Subuh, asking me to sleep when it's late night, asking me to follow her to the garden where she'd show me many interesting things as she plants whatever plant she finds, asking me to keep it a secret when she falls down so that my mother doesn't worry. Owh how I miss her and yes...I can hear her still.

One thing about Onyang is I like to hold her hand. It doesn't matter they're old. I like her hands. And ever since she died, I'd keep telling Tok wan whenever I visit her that her hands are just like Onyang's. Only perhaps a bit smaller in size but that's maybe coz I've grown but anyway, holding hers would remind me of Onyang and I'd feel comforted in a way. Now I wonder how she felt everytime I say that. Would that might have hurt her? She'd smile at me though but perhaps reminding her of her mother might have made her sad. I'd like to think she felt happy to be like her wonderful mother.

Now...she's gone and I'm here far away from home. She lives nearby my house you see but I'm not there. My mum told me the funeral is tomorrow morning but sadly, I can't go home. I would've wanted to see last time. Perhaps hold her hand even or kiss her forehead but nevermind. Even if I can't be there, many of her loved ones will be.

I know what's important is not being there. What's important is that I pray for matter where I matter how far. It's just as I said, I would've liked to see last time. Oh well, to you reading...if you don't mind. Do pray for her too and while you're at it, don't forget my Onyang as well. Al-Fatihah would be wonderful enough so please...okay? :)

May they be forgiven and may Allah bless them with His grace.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

At every prayer, there is someone dead.

Yup. Perhaps we already know that I mean like we know that there is sure to be death everyday maybe every hour or even every second. The thing is how does it affect us?

An experience I've been through is that at Masjidil Haram & Masjid Nabawi, after each prayer...we'd perform 'solat jenazah' (unsure of the english term). That's it...every prayer without fail so far I've stayed there. Only there was one day in Masjid Nabawi after maghrib and isya' there wasn't any because it rained heavily outside all of a sudden. I guess they didn't get to transport the bodies but every other prayer there surely will be someone dead.

At Masjid Nabawi I didn't get to see the bodies coz there's a clear partition between men and women but at Masjidil Haram...masyaAllah...I did see them.

Jenazah-jenazah setelah dikapankan akan diusung ke depan Kaabah dan bagi mereka yang ingin solat jenazah bersama imam, boleh la berbuat begitu.

And indeed you can see them being brought and it'll always be more than one. It occured to me that so long as you're there, you'd remember death. You can't forget. I don't know about other people but surely that's how I felt. I grew very fond of it. Will always make a point to solat jenazah with the imam. Why? Because after the third takbir, you pray for the person's forgiveness. You pray that Allah with His Rahmat will forgive that dead person.

I read at a friend's blog on how it feels when you're dead. It goes like this;
"Orang yang mati di alam barzakh ibarat manusia lemas dalam air, akan berpaut apa jua yang hanyut di depannya. Ahli kubur amat mengharap pertolongan doa orang yang hidup, umpama orang yang lemas dalam air terlalu berharap sesuatu terapung hanyut di depannya untuk menyelamatkan diri."

So I thought to myself now that I have the chance, wouldn't I want to help pray for them? And I thought to myself when I'm dead, wouldn't I want others to do same? Yes, I would.

Oh well, that's one thing that doesn't happen often here in Malaysia. At least not in one particular mosque. Even so, if I get the chance I wouldn't let it go. What do you think?

Saturday, January 2, 2010


...that's what I heard when I finished reading the Quran one early morning waiting for Subuh prayer at Masjidil Haram. I turned to my right and there was a dark skinned lady sitting next to me who looked at me and smiled. She was saying thank you to me for reading the Quran.

I was stunned. Thank you? No one has ever said thank you to me before for reading the Quran. Never...and here a stranger who doesn't even speak the same language thanks me for reading verses from Allah. You see, she was listening to me all that time. I did notice, but it didn't occur to me that she would say anything.

Do you know that listening to the reciting of the Quran has it's rahmat? Well it does. Not only just reading you know, but just listening to another person read will give you a share of rahmat as well and I think many people forget that. What do you feel when someone near you reads the Quran for instance your roommate or anybody anywhere? Do you shut the door and leave? Do you move away? Or do you get closer.....and listen?

Ask yourself that.

Although I only met her for that brief moment, I owe that lady a lot. She reminded me of how simple things can be important and how a simple gesture of thanks can touch a person's heart. You know later when we had to pray, she let me share her sejadah. It was small yet she wanted to share anyway and truth is I felt very happy that time.

You see, little experiences like this happen a lot in Masjidil Haram. At least I feel that way.

Me, mama, kakak and of course our beloved Kaabah :)

Oh dear...I miss that place. Really do~

Friday, January 1, 2010

I've returned :)

Salam alayk~

Alhamdulillah, I'm safely back home after a wonderful experience abroad. I cannot say I'm happy, neither can I say I'm sad but whatever it is I am ever so thankful to Allah :)

To part with Kaabah was difficult. Masjidil Haram is a sanctuary for muslims and yes that was how I felt while I was there. May our parting only be for a short while and may I return back there near the beloved Kaabah. Did you know that just by laying your eyes on the Kaabah full of love is equivalent to 1 year of ibadah?

I just knew that when I was there and cerainly when you see it with your very eyes you can hardly turn to look at anything else.

Now, I can't write much coz I need to settle many things here at home. Help my parents clean up and all. Poor thing that both my parents and my sister aren't well. Their feverish and are coughing quite badly. Do help pray for them cay? May Allah bless you with great health in doing so. InsyaAllah I'll write more. Till then what I'd like to say is I'm honestly thankful to Allah and that all of you should be too :)