Sunday, December 20, 2009

Selamat Hari Jadi

What about birthdays? Well I just thought I'd write this as the last post before I fly tomorrow. A thought that I felt like writing down.

What do you think of birthdays? Surely different people have different opinions on this, have different ways in perceiving it am I right? The norm would be to celebrate and be happy. Get presents and so what not. Well, what does a birthday mean to me? I find it to be a special day and these past few years I keep spending time with my own self on my birthday. Why? Because that was the day I was born all those years back and I feel like the one who deserves my attention most on that day would be Allah. Not that He doesn't any other day but as I said, my birthday is one particular day I'd like to save as a special date.

A special date I keep for special people. I remember back when I was in form 5 at school. Since it's the final year people really celebrate birthdays as extravagant as they can. The usual wish at 12 a.m was a must aside from terrible pranks on the birthday girl. Know what happened on my birthday? People couldn't find me. I was lost! :P Haha...They were all waiting for 12 o'clock...went to my room and I was missing...Ahaa..where did I go? Oh no! :P hehe...

I was at the musolla, alone...with my Quran. (to wardens if you're reading I do know I shouldn't be there...sorry!)

I had to do that. I had to runaway because being alone like that, close to what's most precious is what's important to me and is what made me feel happy. It’s not partying or enjoying as some people might say it.

But hey, to my friends who were looking for me all night...thank you :) I do appreciate it really. I can’t bring myself to explain exactly how my thoughts are when it comes to birthdays but I guess yes, you’re right...they do matter to me. Nothing wrong in that right? Birthdays matter to me. A day I feel it wise to show a nice gesture just to strengthen bonds between people. Nothing too fancy...just a small gesture to show you care. Why not right? It may seem petty but small things like this hold deep meanings.

Oh well, at least that’s what I think. Am I crapping? Just a little perhaps. Haha..
Bottom line is, to you who may or may not read...Happy Birthday~ May Allah bless you with a long and healthy life with the ones you love. May you be blessed herein and hereafter. Farewell...

p/s: Call me...would you?

I'm leaving... don't look for me....

Mysterious ey? haha...just a gimmick...I think :P Oh well, I won't be around for 10 days or so. Where am I going?


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

100th post.

Okay, not exactly a big deal but nevermind :) ngee~ I've been thinking before, what would I post for my 100th post? Let's start with a quote by a dead president. Gosh...that sounds harsh. Okay a quote from a former president then. :P

"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing." -Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)-

Now that is seriously cool. Forgive my lack in using proper adjectives. I keep using the word cool for everything. haha... Oh well, it is cool! :P So I guess here I'd like to say that I wish to be both. Both in what he said. I hope that all this while my writings are worth reading and that people do want to read and are able to obtain something from it. About doing things worth writing, well perhaps at school that's done but then again looking at a bigger picture I'm still far from it. Far from doing anything worth been written about but it's okay, we still don't know the future. It's not about being written about that's important. I say it's that act. The part that you actually did something worth to be written about must mean that it's great. Right?

A short cut would of course to go kill someone or rob the bank or do a serious offence and get written in the papers for it. Haha...but you know that's not what I meant.

I hope I'll continue writing and somehow be able to touch people's hearts with what's in mine. Even if it has to be just one person.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Allah sure knows how to make life interesting :)

Don't you think so? I'm fascinated!!! I've already mentioned that in facebook just now :)
I watched a documentary today about conjoined twins...siamese twins that is. 2 girls with one body. Abigail & Brittany Hensen. What fascinates me most is their anatomy and ability to coordinate and function. It's really something you need to see to believe and then again even after seeing u can't stop feeling marvelled. Subhanallah...

Do look up on them.

Two different individuals sharing the same body. You know one thing I've noticed? It's the fact that individuality is something important to people. We all want to be seen as individuals, as our own self and being twins doesn't make it any different. In fact they'd want it even more because people tend to group them together as one. To me though, when you look closely and mingle, you'd see that they're different and are unique to each other. I love seeing that. How two people can be so different yet look the same. haha...I do have some experience in this :P

To be treated as an individual. I think this somehow gives space for us knowing that our way of thinking is ours. Do you get what I mean? It's like for once there is something unique to us an you can say 'this is mine and not anybody elses'. Something of your own. Of course everything is Allah's...nothing is really ours. Let's just say it's one thing that Allah gives us and only us. Because two people can never be exactly the same. Awesome ey? After the countless existence of people in this world, He made them all different. If it were me I'd run out of ideas! Haha...

Whatever it is, it all comes down to how majestic Allah is in creating :)

Segala puji hanya bagi Allah~

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Lost for words happens sometimes so I guess this is one of those moments causing me to stop writing for a while. Truth is there's something bothering my mind lately and I don't think I'm fit to write in such a condition.

I wanna ask you something...since I'm in the mood to write here..have you ever felt like your way through life is being guided and that someone is watching over you? Seriously, think about it. Try and recall briefly how your life has been. Do you feel what I feel? Frankly speaking, I feel like I'm learning to live in this world and that Allah has been guiding me through and teaching me.

You see when you're small and you are completely ignorant about your surroundings, you'd tend to be curious and there is this urge of wanting to explore new things. You wouldn't know to tell from what's right and what's wrong and because of that you tend to do mistakes. Mistakes you hate and regret but those mistakes are what makes you learn even more.

Ever felt like Allah is talking to you? Not literally speaking like what we can do to each other but rather trying to tell you something, giving hints and clues, reaching out to you...ever felt that? Now more than ever I think I can actually feel. It's like something in you that moves you. Something pure that drives you to do the right thing and helping you to understand. I notice that this feeling is different from what I usually feel when I was younger. It's like the hints are getting stronger and becoming more obvious. It's the feeling wherby I have someone to remind me what to do like for instance to remind me to pray, to remind me that things happen for a reason, to remind me what those reasons are when bad things happen and to remind me where I should turn to if ever I need someone to go to. And all these reminders come from none other than Allah.

I guess the way He speaks to you progresses with age. After all He knows best when it comes to knowing your capabilities, limits, how much you've grown and what way of teaching suits you most. You are taught by the best teacher and you're protected by a force stronger than everything else. It's just wonderful. Realising is great isn't it?

Sometimes I wonder why it took me ages to understand and see. I guess that's just my pace. We all have different paces. Words may be powerful but I'm beginning to see the power in not saying anything but in feeling with the heart.

Am I making sense to you? haha...Sorry if it sounds weird. It's just how I feel. Perhaps being lost for words once in a while is okay. Gives room for the heart to do the talking and rarely does the heart say anything hurtful like the tongue. In fact, the heart can't is always truthful. You just have to figure a way to find out the truth in that heart.

I know Allah is talking to me without words...maybe, just maybe other people are too?

Thursday, December 3, 2009


What do you think about P. Ramlee movies? I'd say their unique and awesome :) There's this art in them that you don't come by easily nowadays. It always seems to amuse me. Now if I watch, it's mostly nostalgic coz I tend to recount the times I watched those movies when I was a kid. Before, I'd watch with my cousins, grandparents, you know the whole big family when we all gather together. It was fun and those were the moments we bonded. One of my favourites would be Labu Labi :P

Why? Because it's so funny! Well, surely for entertainment purposes only and not to be followed. I laugh everytime despite hearing the jokes over and over. It was just so smartly made I'd say. There is this scene when Manisah, (the most wanted girl in the story since the two main actors were madly in love with her) asked her dad for money to buy 3 new sewing machines. It cost RM500. Upon hearing that, her father, Hj. Bakhil, fainted! Well he serves his name well in being stingy. Haha...her mother whispered that perhaps he was just faking it. Later it turned out that he did and Manisah ended up sulking and went straight to her room.

And then comes this scene between Hj. Bakhil and his wife,
'Wah...sayang, sayang...tadi kau sindir aku ya?'
'Sindir-sindir apa pulak bang? Saya tak bilang apa-apa.'
'Tadi kau bilang aku ni pura-pura pengsan uh?'
'Eh, tadi abang bukankah pengsan? Macam mana abang boleh dengar?'
'Hmmph...aku ni pengsan pesen baru laaa, kau mana tauuuu.'

Haha...okay, if you haven't watched you would have no idea what I'm talking about but if you have watched you'd have to agree that this part was funny right? Actually when I was small I didn't know what 'sindir' meant. Really! (don't laugh :P)...and I remember guessing that perhaps it meant to expose a secret or something coz the wife said she didn't say anything as if exposing a secret. Now I know what it means. Definitely not what I thought.

There's this thing about us humans that we just can't help but comment on things. Give negative remarks that is, and oftenly say them in sarcastic ways. Sometimes even to the extent of discriminating others. Is this a right thing to do? Let's learn from this particular thought I got from a book.

"Telingaku paling alergik mendengar caci-mencaci, kata-kata kotor apalagi umpatan melaknat. Tak ada yang berhak melaknat manusia kecuali Tuhan. Manusia jelas-jelas telah dimuliakan oleh Tuhan. Tanpa membezakan siapa pun dia. Semua manusia telah dimuliakan Tuhan sebagaimana tertera dalam Al-Quran, Wa laqad karamna banii Adam. (Dan telah Kami muliakan anak keturunan Adam!) Jika Tuhan telah memuliakan manusia, kenapa masih ada manusia yang mencaci dan melaknat sesama manusia? Apakah ia merasa lebih tinggi martabatnya daripada Tuhan?"

So what do you think of that? Something different ey? I never thought of it that way you know. This paragraph really caught my attention and got me thinking. Sometimes we just don't realise how small we are in front of Allah. We do things without proper thought. My brothers and sisters, don't let that tongue slip. Control it because nobody's perfect. Imperfection, includes you. As humble servants we have no rights whatsoever to anything unless our Lord, Allah permits it. So, let's use our tongues wisely :) okay?

Sahabat selamanya...

I've mentioned before that we're not alone in this world and that the world doesn't just revolve around us. Indeed we need other people and that's how we make it through life, being helped and helping others. I paid a visit to my dear college last month after my final exams. It's nice to know that the guards still remember me :) Passing through the gates made me feel like I never left. I love my school and I love it so because I owe it a lot. I owe my school my life and I say that because there is where I learnt in greater depth about meaning of life. I didn't fully understand then, neither have I understood clearly now but even so, that school was the start of it. The start of my journey in search of the truth. My eyes were opened and so was my heart. Despite whatever hardship faced (I tell you boarding school life especially 5 years of it isn't easy) I found Islam. Weird you say? My friends would find it weird I'm sure but yes, in school is where I found it. Somewhere, somehow I did and because of that I will forever be grateful to my school.

I met a lot of my teachers who still remember me and yes, that did bring tears to my soul. Teachers who have given me so much and when compared to them I'd feel so tiny and yet they still remember me. I don't know about you but for me, to be remembered by people I respect is indeed something I'd feel very touched about. Chatted with a few of them but I had this long talk with Ustazah Habibah who only taught me when I was in form 2. I used to remember that I felt so lucky to have her teach me. Not that I didn't want anybody else but you know, sometimes you just have this dream of getting a particular teacher. Alhamdulillah, that year I did. She taught me many things far more than whatever thing in the textbook that she had to teach. It wasn't that, that caught me. I was touched mostly by her herself.

I see in her, a way of thinking that is different and somehow very easy for me to relate to. I always thought of her as a grandmother to me. You know why? Because she is so full of wisdom and she has that way of making me realise things just by saying so few. I couldn't say mother because I don't know, I feel that to be more sacred and only for my mum. You know one of the things she said to me that day?

"Nanti bila dah fly, cari kawan yang baik ya Nadira? Kawan tu penting. InsyaAllah ada."

I'd say that is an awesome piece of advice. Sound unimportant to you? Well I say it's important! And I'm forever thankful to Allah for the friends I already have that are dear to me :)

But wait! Take a look at this...

"Pada hari itu sahabat-sahabat karib: setengahnya akan menjadi musuh kepada setengahnya yang lain, kecuali orang-orang yang persahabatannya berdasarkan taqwa (iman dan amal salih)."
[Az-Zukhruf 43:67]

To my friends, I don't want us to only be friends here in this life we're in. I want us to be friends even in the after life. We often hear people say friends forever right? How long is your forever? Ever thought of that? I don't want us to care for each other and love each other now and later be enemies in akhirat. I want us to still care and love each other in front of Allah later on when all of us are faced to Him.

Mind you, this is not only for friends, but also for family...anybody dear to you really. Anybody you love no matter what the relation. Mother, father, brother, sister, classmate, housemate, roommate, college mate...anything at all. Even a person who has nothing to do with you except hold on to the same faith. Even a person you love that does or doesn't love you back. I know that later in after life, I wanna stay loving to them and how can I do that? Ensure that it's all because of Allah and done with taqwa.

Are your reasons for being friends with others correct? If you're not sure then it's not too late to make it right :) Like I always say, it's never too late so long as you're still breathing :)

So, let me ask you if indeed you are my friend, why are you friends with me?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Kata Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal...

...'Perjuangan seorang mukmin sejati tidak akan berhenti kecuali ketika kedua telapak kakinya telah menginjak pintu syurga."

I read this two days ago in a book I just bought. I wonder how many of us have such thinking. We tend to view our goals in a very small scope. That's what I think. I mean, for example when we have to take our exams that would be our ultimate goal and once it's over we feel so at ease as if all the burden in this world is gone. There's nothing wrong in feeling relief after working so hard but the thing is we should quickly realise that it doesn't stop there. There is still so much to do and a long way ahead to go.

Sebenarnya diri ini terasa sangat jahil. Banyak sangat yang belum diketahui, belum didalami sedangkan hidup ni sudah 18 tahun berlalu. Masih muda? Mungkin, tapi umur itu apakah sudah benar-benar digunakan sebaiknya? hmm...

You know lately living life feels interesting. It's not that my life hasn't been interesting it's just that I'm beginning to see many things now. Learn things that I never knew before. Feel things that I've never felt. Very exciting I tell you. :D A quest through life. A quest in the name of Allah to find Him.

If you're not in that journey already, what are you waiting for? :P