Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Being true and rare..thats two things you dont need to change ^_^

Arine told me that about a year ago. You know, I think she's about the only person who feels that way. Asking me not to change the fact that I'm true & rare. Aren't those the two things that people just don't get about me arine? haha...

This reminds me of a saying from someone,
"It's not about living forever, it's about living with yourself forever."

Okay, of course it's a movie line but who says we can't be triggered to think from it? Anyways, what caught me was that bit I highlighted. 'Living with yourself'. It doesn't mean live by yourself. that's not it. What it means is to be able to accept who you are and live with it. You yourself accepting who you are. You being patient with yourself. Being patient the fact that you have weaknesses or you don't possess certain strengths like others. You trying hard to correct flaws and even if you fail to, you try harder to not hate yourself for it. Being able to love yourself moderately. Not too much till you go way over your head and not too little till you wish to be someone else. Think it's easy to live with yourself? Sometimes I find it difficult. Ironically, you are one person you can never run away from. huhu.

Allah is Great :) Life is just so interesting!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

How an instant can change you.


There you go. I start off with a smile. Great isn't it? :)
It's funny how one can change completely from one particular feeling to the exact opposite in an instant. In my case right now, from a rather unhappy post yesterday...this morning, this instant at least...I'm happy ^_^

And because of that I want to savior every bit of it while it lasts.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of things to get us back on track. Alhamdulillah, Allah made me visit a friend's blog this morning that opened my eyes and made me smile. Although maybe what he talked about really had very little relation with what's bothering my heart and mind right now...still, Alhamdulillah... :)

I have to be strong and even stronger than before. It takes perseverance right? I guess it's easy to be a child and fret about everything but it takes a lot to swallow whatever faults you've done or those done by other people to you and just grow up and be patient.

Am I still a child? or will I grow up?

I'll grow up!

Strength is none but Allah. Thank you Allah.

Monday, April 19, 2010

People just don't think of death enough.

I think it's sad when you forget to be yourself and when you change unnecessarily for meaningless reasons. To wake up and suddenly not know who you are. That's just... sad.

Why should you be obligated to be anything else but who you're meant to be? Why does it matter so much about what people say and think of you when you know it's not true? Why try so hard to impress and end up not being able to? ....why?

These days, I spend most of my time alone like many others I guess. That's fine with me because I've always liked it that way. I guess it's just a way of retreating and isolating myself away from people who don't understand me. Going away to take my mind off things and to be at peace.

I realise I keep saying that...'people don't understand me'.

Sounds selfish doesn't it? I agree with you on that but sadly it's true and I'm not just saying this to put the blame on others or anything like that. I'm saying this because that really is the truth. I won't pretend that I know everyone but I do know that I try to and every time I would try my best to put up with how people are.

Many though don't feel the need to do that. To tolerate and be nice. To accept people. To know what to change and what to keep. To know your own flaws and admit it, own up to it. To open their minds....

I'm alrite...really I am...I just wish that people would think more. Use their heads and THINK. If you die tomorrow or right after this, would you still want to be in dispute? Would you?

And that's why I say, people just don't think of death enough.

I feel so flawed. Incapable of taking care of something and let it stay. The road, i cant see the ending. I just dont know what to do. Stopped in my tracks. hesitating...whether to turn around or to walk on... and im still standing there, not going anywhere. I just wish I have a reason to turn back...and I wish you'd give me one... but how can I turn back to someone who doesn't want me there anymore?

p/s - hey arine...I must say, you've always known the right words to say to describe how I feel and right now when I'm lost for it, I had to take yours to express myself. Hope that's alright with you :) coz this is exactly how I feel.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Penyembuh bagimu dan bagiku.

"Wahai manusia! Sungguh , telah datang kepadamu pelajaran (Al-Quran) dari Tuhanmu, penyembuh bagi penyakit yang ada dalam dada, dan petunjuk serta rahmat bagi orang yang beriman."

[Yunus 10:57]

My dear brothers & sisters, dekatkanlah dirimu kepada Allah. Lazimkanlah lidahmu membaca ayat-ayat cintaNya. Semoga sentiasa dalam pemeliharaanNya insyaAllah. Andai kita terjatuh sekalipun, Allah tahu kita telah cuba sedaya upaya untuk tidak terjatuh. Keampunan dan pertolonganNya terbentang luas. Teruskan mencuba dan berusaha lagi. Pujuk hati kita. InsyaAllah tenang :)