I didn't forget you :)

You didn't think I did, did you? I was devastated coz I didn't get to send you off the first time you went :'( Thank you for calling before you left. Really appreciate it (would've killed you if you didn't actually :P) haha... I passed ur present to Arine. Hopefully she'd be able to carefully open it. She just stashed it in her bag last night. XP typical Arinah ey? haha...

As for mine, it's kinda remarkable actually that I haven't opened it but I have to admit slight peeks were inavoidable :D ngee~

Hold it! I've been talking away and yet you don't know who I'm refering to (except the person of course). Heh. Who else if not....

Adzwin Dimyati

I know you don't like this picture but I do! :P

Yup. Her turn.

SEDEY!....Budak yang dah pindah Shah Alam tapi jarang visit. Apekah? Haha... Oh well, our last encounter was of course at the famous Section 18 of Shah Alam :P You hearing me yell and me getting hit due to certain things in a certain new black book :P (okay close case) haha... Me hearing you yourself scream, us walking round the block getting your spectacles...meeting your mum at Giant and of course the things we did with Adzreen when she was around. Baju L yang tak dapat beli. huhu...xpe2...ada hikmah :)

Good luck ey? MISS YOU LOTS!


:'(

Stylish ey? :D

Nasib Nadira ditinggalkan rakan-rakan. haha...kidding :P Take care Adzwin!

Budak bernama Arinah.

Wow. What do you think of the title? I think it's the weirdest yet. XP haha... Oh well, last night I sent her off to Bristol. Didn't get to spend much time with her or chat at the airport but no matter...I said the things I wanted to in my letter. You know me, letters is the way to go. haha... I was the only non-family member sending her off anyway so I can't suddenly just pull her away. But come to think of it her family is great! I didn't feel left out at all with them. That night I went back with her parents and spent the night at her house. 1st time without her though. Sad? haha...I refuse to say anything concerning that. bluekk :P Any message for her? Nope. Not here. I've said enough elsewhere right Arine? huhu...

I'm alone now.

No more Adzreen, Adzwin, Adi .... Arine~

I'll come after you guys. Just wait. InsyaAllah... Pray for me.

I love you guys. Really... :) Take care.

p/s: Arine call me aite? I don't care XD

Home

A warm word don't you think? Some people might not bother much about it but well for me, 'home' is comfort. Leganya nk balik ni.

Will be leaving soon this evening. Do pray I get home safely cay? InsyaAllah. Lega nak balik tu satu hal, sedih pun ade gak. Kenapa? Ramadhan nak habis :( 1 bulan memang kejap je kan? Syukur Alhamdulillah dapat bertemu Ramadhan tahun ni. Memang lain sangat lah daripada Ramadhan2 sebelum ni. Dugaannya ya Allah...Allah je la yang tau perasaan hati ni. Gembira pun mesti ada :) Itu pun Allah je yang tau kenape. hehe :P Banyak lak simpan rahsia ngan Allah. ^_^ Best tau :P ngee~

Here's a quote I read from Sis Zabrina,

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one."

Deep isn't it? I can't always be happy, neither can I always be sad. I must have both.

Alright then, gotta go now. My uncle will pick me up soon. Have a nice break everyone. Happy Eid Mubarak! :)

I fell into the hole again...

=_= ouch!

2 kisah :)

Salam Alayk,

All this talk about misery must have bored you especially when what's being said is mostly vague. Sorry! Let's talk about something else now shall we? First off, smile! :) hehe...

So you're smiling now? Good. Setting off a good by smiling is important, no? :D Okay now we can begin. Today I went to the Cemara surau as usual for my Isya' & terawih prayers. There was a tazkirah session before perfoming witir and the imam told us 2 stories. I had a smile etched on my face immediately after hearing him start coz it brought back memories :) Especially the first story. Allow me to convey it in malay cay?

1st story:

Ada seorang abid yang hidup selama 500 tahun. Sepanjang kehidupannya itu, dia telah beribadah kepada Allah yakni solat dengan bersungguh-sungguh tanpa meninggalkan satu waktu pun. Memang kerjanya hanya beribadah kepada Allah siang dan malam selama 500 tahun. Apabila tiba masanya abid itu menghadap Allah, dia berkata. "Ya Allah, masukkanlah aku ke dalam syurga kerana amalan ku." Maka, malaikat pun mula menghitung dan akhirnya, hanya mata kiri abid itu yang layak masuk ke syurga sedangkan seluruh anggota badannya yang lain ke neraka.

Mengapa begitu?

Kerana setelah dihitung, rupa-rupanya ibadahnya selama 500 tahun itu hanya dapat membalas nikmat mata kirinya yang Allah berikan. o_O??? (nikmat mata kiri je??!) Yup, hanya nikmat mata kiri, belum lg nikmat-nikmat yang lain. haaa....Bila pikir balik, kita ni mcm mane?

Silapnya disini ialah permintaan abid itu. Apabila ingin memohon sesuatu e.g. 'dimasukkan ke dalam syurga Allah', perkara itu harus dipohon dengan 'Rahmat' Allah, bukan dgn 'amalan' kita. Sungguh, yang menentukan segala-galanya itu tetap Allah. Jadi, nanti bila doa, jangan lupe perkataan tu.

----why did I say memorable just now? Actually I read about this story 6 years ago in a book that I can't recall the title. Found in the mussola one day when I was sitting there. It feels very warm inside to hear it being told again :) to know that others know it too---

2nd story:

Ada satu ketika selepas selesai menunaikan solat Subuh berjemaah, Rasulullah S.A.W. bertanya kepada para sahabat.
"Siapakah di antara kamu yang berpuasa pada hari ini?"
Semua terdiam lalu Saidina Umar pun menjawab, "Saya tidak berniat semalam maka hari ini saya tidak berpuasa." Ramai yang menyatakan perkara serupa.

Rasulullah bertanya lagi, "Siapakah di antara kamu yang sudah bersedekah pada hari ini?"
Umar menjawab, "Kita masih belum pulang dan keluar dari masjid, saya belum bersedekah." Sahabat-sahabat lain mengiyakannya lagi.

Rasulullah bertanya lagi, "Siapakah di antara kamu yang sudah menziarahi orang yang sakit?"
Umar menjawab, "Belum ya Rasulullah." Begitu juga sahabat-sahabat lain.

Rasullulah kelihatan sedih. Kemudian bangun seorang lelaki dan dia berkata.
"Ya Rasulullah, saya berpuasa pada hari ini. Pagi tadi dalam perjalanan ke masjid saya terjumpa seorang peminta sedekah lalu saya memberi sedekah kepadanya. Sebelum ke sini, saya telah terlebih dahulu menziarah saudara saya yang sedang sakit."

Siapakah lelaki itu?

Dialah, Saidina Abu Bakar.

---now this story I just love :)---

Alhamdulillah, dapat kongsi post yang bermanfaat sket drpd yang sebelum ni...huhu :P
InsyaAllah, semoga dapat kita ambil iktibar dari kedua-dua kisah diatas.

"You must learn to switch off."

A friend told me that just now, nodding away as he did.

It got me thinking. Hmm... cane nk wat ek? True enough what he said triggered a thought in me. What caught me was that he used the word 'learn'. I must learn to switch off. Lately I've been learning a lot of things and I figured if it wasn't for my current predicament I might've missed those things. I might have taken them for granted or worse, not realise at all. So you see, I guess things aren't so bad (pujuk diri sendiri ni). It's not like I didn't gain anything, in fact I've gained so much. Come to think of it I just didn't get one thing which is something I really want. Instead, I got things that I needed and mind you notice the difference there? I want ONE thing and I get MANY things that I need.

Allah has His ways in doing things quite out of the ordinary and of course He would do so as He likes what's out of norm. Can I say for that reason He likes me? hehe :P Nak gak kate cmtu... ^_^ ngee~

Oh well, now the question is where is this switch off button? How do I switch off?

"Kan org suro blaja...haish...takkan sume bende nk kene gtau cane nk wat kot?"
"Ala...tp tolong la, mmg serious xtau cane nk wat ni wey."
-dialog dalaman- apekah? :P

Okay, gotta start learning then. Inside the mind is a more complicated world than the living. One might get lost, drift the wrong way or find the right path. To keep only to your mind without letting people know what's running through it can complicate things and so one should eventually try to speak. Then again perhaps you're waiting for something. For time perhaps? I've said before time can be a curious thing. Lets see what time will do this time.

As for now, seriously mane button nk switch off ni? XD

I'm human...

Setiap kali hati mereka berpaling berputus asa, tiba-tiba terdengar panggilan dari tanda-tanda keindahan, 'Wahai orang yang berputus asa! Bersabarlah untuk meraih kebenaran yang belum kau kenal, tetapi sudah begitu tergesa kau gapai.'

-Imam Ghazali-

I'm sorry, I said I'd smile and that I'd stop crying but I guess this month my heart is even more fragile and so tears seem to fall ever so easily. I'm not giving up, it's just that I'm human. I won't pretend like I can withstand it all and that I can go through whatever, no sweat. No, that wouldn't be me. But hey, I do try. If I can find anything to cheer me up I will be happy. Wishing it lasts longer though. Haha...but it's okay.

I love crying for Allah coz then only are my tears worth...crying for other people just makes me pathetic but then again that weakness is just me being human. May I be given patience.

I need to be patient.

A reminder to myself:
BEING UNHAPPY IS BEING SELFISH. DONT EVER BE. IF YOU DONT FEEL LIKE SMILING, AT LEAST DO IT SO THAT THE WORLD DOESNT CRY WITH YOU.

Found this at Arine's blog. Ouch! Haha...okay..okay, I'm smiling now see? :)

p/s: can't wait for friday ^_^

Hear me crap...

Okay it's not exactly crapping but crapping sounds like a good word :P

You know I've been better before. Lately my posts potray somesort of misery hanging over me. Especially my latest post.

I notice that I can never really portray how I feel. It's as if the right words just won't fall out and it's killing me because I can't make people see and understand. I can't reach out and that feeling so desperately wanting to believe in something but not finding it leaves me helpless. Exactly how a friend of mine wrote in her blog, I lie to myself. I make up excuses for what's been happening. I make them up to comfort myself. I make them up so that I don't stay mad at you for long and so that I don't give up hope. I said to a friend once before that I'm tired of explaining myself. Am I really? Or perhaps the truth is I just don't know what to say?

Even to me, silence hurts more than saying something blunt. Silence is never a good choice coz it leaves you in uncertainty with false hopes building up just to keep you sane. And false hope definitely hurts more than knowing exactly the reality of where we stand. This, I would know. Hearing things from other people makes it worse because the two of us never really talk it over properly and what others say may not be the truth. May not be how we meant to say it. Why aren't we talking? Why are we letting others do so for us? I don't wish to hurt you, nor do I wish to complicate things for you.

I simply want to straighten things out. I want us to be okay.

Hmm...Am I trying too hard that things don't seem to go quite right? I can't help it coz I get worried in which I need relief. I said some things I wish I could take back because they just came out all wrong, but I know I can't turn back time to mend what's already done. I'm willing to fix things but I can't do it alone...

Will you talk to me?

p/s: told you i'm crapping...huhu

Pesanan buat diri...

Dira, sudah la tu.

La takhof wa la tahzan, inallaha ma'ana.

And that's what matters most.

Let's read a story :)

Salam Alayk my brothers and sisters,

Apa khabar iman hari ni? Lama tak tanya. hehe... InsyaAllah baik dan bertambah baik. Yesterday while reading the Quran I came over a story I find to be sweet :) Well, the Quran certainly has many wonders. Wonders that can't be equalised by anything written by man simply because the Quran is written by Allah S.W.T.

"Dan jika kamu meragukan (Al-Quran) yang Kami turunkan kepada hamba Kami (Muhammad), maka buatlah satu surah semisal dengannya dan ajaklah penolong-penolong selain Allah, jika kamu orang-orang yang benar. Jika kamu tidak mampu membuatnya, dan (pasti) tidak akan mampu, maka takutlah kamu akan api neraka yang bahan bakarnya manusia dan batu yang disediakan bagi orang-orang kafir."

[Al-Baqarah 2:23&24]

This morning I decided to share this so called sweet story. Hehe :D Allah is the one telling it anyway so please read my brothers and sisters and may we all be blessed.
What is it about? Nabi Ibrahim :)
_____________________________________________________

[Asy-Syu'ara' 26:69-104]

Dan bacakanlah kepada mereka kisah Ibrahim.

Ketika Ibrahim berkata kepada ayahnya dan kaumnya, "Apakah yang kamu sembah?"

Mereka menjawab, "Kami menyembah berhala-berhala dan kami sentiasa tekun menyembahnya."

Dia (Ibrahim) berkata, "Apakah mereka mendengarmu ketika kamu berdoa (kepadanya)?
atau (dapatkah) mereka memberi manfaat atau mencelakakan kamu?

Mereka menjawab, "Tidak, tapi kami dapati nenek moyang kami berbuat begitu."

Dia (Ibrahim) berkata, "Apakah kamu memperhatikan apa yang kamu sembah,

kamu, dan nenek moyang kamu yang terdahulu?

Sesungguhnya mereka (apa yang kamu sembah) itu musuhku, lain halnya dengan Tuhan seluruh alam,

(iaitu) Yang telah menciptakan aku, maka Dia yang memberi petunjuk kepadaku,

dan Yang memberi makan dan minum kepadaku,

dan apabila aku sakit, Dialah yang menyembuhkan aku,

dan Yang akan mematikan aku, kemudian menghidupkan aku (kembali),

dan Yang sangat kuinginkan akan mengampuni kesalahanku pada hari Kiamat."

(Ibrahim berdoa) "Ya Tuhanku, berikanlah kepadaku ilmu dan masukkanlah aku ke dalam golongan orang-orang yang saleh,

dan jadikanlah aku buah tutur yang baik bagi orang-orang (yang datang) kemudian,

dan jadikanlah aku termasuk orang yang mewarisi syurga yang penuh kenikmatan,

dan ampunilah ayahku, sesungguhnya dia termasuk orang-orang yang sesat,

dan janganlah Engkau hinakan aku pada hari mereka dibangkitkan,

(iaitu) pada hari (ketika) harta dan anak-anak tidak berguna,

kecuali orang-orang yang menghadap Allah dengan hati yang bersih,

dan syurga didekatkan kepada orang-orang yang bertakwa,

dan neraka Jahim diperlihatkan dengan jelas kepada orang-orang yang sesat,"

dan dikatakan kepada mereka, "Di mana berhala-berhala yang dahulu kamu sembah,

selain Allah? Dapatkah mereka menolong kamu atau menolong diri mereka sendiri?"

Maka mereka (sesembahan itu) dijungkirkan ke dalam neraka bersama orang-orang yang sesat,

dan bala tentera iblis semuanya.

Mereka berkata sambil bertengkar di dalamnya (neraka),

"Demi Allah, sesungguhnya kita dahulu (di dunia) dalam kesesatan yang nyata,

kerana kita menyamakan kamu (berhala-berhala) dengan Tuhan seluruh alam.

Dan tidak ada yang menyesatkan kita kecuali orang-orang yang berdosa.

Maka (sekarang) kita tidak mempunyai seorang pun pemberi syafaat (penolong),

dan tidak pula mempunyai teman yang akrab.

Maka seandainya kami dapat kembali (ke dunia) niscaya kita menjadi orang-orang yang beriman."

Sungguh, pada yang demikian itu terdapat tanda (kekuasaan Allah), tetapi kebanyakan mereka tidak beriman.

Dan sungguh, Tuhanmu benar-benar Dialah Mahaperkasa, Maha Penyayang.
________________________________________________________

:) Sweet isn't it? When I read, especially the parts I highlighted, I could somehow feel how strongly our prophet Ibrahim believes, trusts and loves Allah. Perasaan yang hanya pada Allah lah tempat untuk bergantung. Allah lah segala-galanya. When you eat, have you ever felt for real that Allah is the one that gave you food instead of thinking it is something you bought with your money? And look at what Ibrahim asks for in his prayers. Do we ever ask for such things? And touchingly too is when he asked for forgiveness for his father. He didn't forget his father when he supplicates. Do you my brothers and sisters even remember your parents in your doa?

Let us all look back and reflect.

It feels wonderful being told a story by Allah. Kan3?? :D

Change~

Salam Alayk~

Now we are literally in the middle of the blessed month of Ramadhan. I haven't been posting have I? Forgive me for those who visit and yet find nothing new. I'm in the midst of deep thought. If I write, I fear it would do more harm than good and so I pause.

Well that's then, I'm back again :)

How has your Ramadhan been? I feel as if time has past so very quickly. Ramadhan to me seems ever so short. Spent a week at home starting off Ramadhan with my family. Going to the mosque with Mama & Abah for isya' & tarawih is indeed memorable :) Suddenly I find my parents to be so cute :P hehe... Kakak is fasting well alhamdulillah. Despite how she is she doesn't miss even a day so all of you out there should be able to fast too.

The title this time is 'change'.

Has anything changed this Ramadhan or are you going through it just like every year? Regrettably, I feel my Ramadhan last year wasn't spent that well. It is such a shame you see and I vowed it would never be like that again. That's how we should look at it. Fill in whatever lacked and improve what is already good so that it becomes better.

This time, I'm fighting off a very great weakness in me. To change for the better in an area I do not wish to mention. It is difficult but I'm seizing this opportunity. InsyaAllah, Allah will facillitate this change in me. I'd like to share something I read from 'Life is an Open Secret' by Sis Zabrina. Here goes...

Scene 1:
I walk down a street, and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. It takes forever to get out. It's not my fault.

Scene 2:
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes a long time to get out. It's my fault.

Scene 3:
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming a habit. It is definitely my fault. I get out immediately.

Scene 4:
I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Scene 5:
I walk down a different street.

What do you think? An eye-opener isn't it? 5 scenes very simply written yet hold such deep meaning. "A fundamental guideline to change" says Sis Zabrina. Yes, it sure is.

Could you cry over this? I could.

Change can be difficult and the only one who would know that is yourself coz it's you going through it. Some things can be simpler for others but that doesn't matter. What matters is you know you're doing something about it and that Allah knows that. Just because it's hard, it's no excuse for you to not do anything about it. Trust in Allah and so you will not give up changing no matter how slow it appears. No matter how many times you fall into that same hole. That same wretched hole...you won't give up. You will NOT GIVE UP. Because you know, you must change.

Because I know I must change.

And why must I do this?
Because the change is for Allah..... Tell yourself, "For the sake of Allah, walk on another street."

I have something in me that I have always wanted to change. I'm sure you do too. Be brave. Be bold. Allah made a promise...

"...Turn towards Allah, O believers, every one of you, so that you may be successfull."

[An-Nur 24:31]

Change and turn your path towards Him and you'll be successful. This is Allah making a promise and He NEVER BREAKS HIS WORD.